Is your partner cheating on you?
- The top ten red flags
By Patrick Wanis – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert and Celebrity Life Coach
It can be the most devastating revelation: Your partner is cheating on you. Worse: You find out that it has been going on for many months or even years and you never saw it coming -or did you?
Often there are many telltale signs of cheating. For some people, the signs can be confusing. Is his or her unusual behavior just a phase representing rough emotional times or is it because he or she is cheating? And what is the Number 1 sign that your partner is cheating on you?
First, be aware men do not cheat more than women do. When men cheat they are often doing it with another woman and the woman almost always knows he is married or in a relationship, so therefore she is part of the lie and deception.
Second, studies reveal that men will often hide their cheating behavior while women will be first to lie about their cheating behavior. Third, TV shows such as “Desperate Housewives” are indirectly promoting women cheating. And if you are still doubtful about the percentage of women that cheat, you can watch the TV interview I gave on FOX News Channel about women cheating at www.patrickwanis.com.
The Red Flags
Below is a list of twenty-six red flags or signs that scream “Look out! Your partner may be cheating on you!” Can you guess which ones are the top ten?
Rate next to each red flag a number and then compare your answers further below e.g. if you believe that the number one sign of cheating is “Sets up a new e-mail account but doesn’t tell you about it” then put the number 1 next to it.
| HE or SHE: |
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| A. Suddenly seems happier and brighter |
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| B. Is more possessive toward computer & password, wallet, cell phone or briefcase |
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| C. Sets up a new e-mail account but doesn’t tell you about it |
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| D. Takes a real sudden interest in everything designer and new |
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| E. Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance, his/her breath and carries toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash at all times |
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| F. Starts keeping an overnight bag in their car, office or friend’s house, saying it’s for a workout or a game of tennis |
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| G. Is very “touchy”, easily angered and picks fights with you (often this is guilt being expressed) |
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| H. Claims the boss is out -has to work, and starts working late and on holidays & weekends |
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| I. Expresses opinions on subjects that previously never interested him/her |
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| J. Encourages you to visit parents or friends alone |
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| K. Suddenly wants the car clean and free of “clutter” belonging to you or the kids |
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| L. Starts using new words and phrases |
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| M Suggests that you open up separate checking accounts |
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| N. Doesn’t wear wedding ring anymore |
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| O. Makes more phone calls late at night and insists on answering the phone whenever it rings |
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| P. Completely changes feelings on God, abortion, religion and spirituality |
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| Q. Demonstrates childish behavior and music interests, knows all the new pop singers and has their CD’s, and uses more kid slang than the kids |
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| R. Accuses you of getting into his or her “stuff” when he/she loses something |
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| S. Changes his/her attitude about people who cheat: suggests not to judge others and defends others who have cheated |
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| T. Becomes great friends with people going through divorce |
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| U. Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer |
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| V. Acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her and blames you for anything wrong in the relationship |
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| W. Becomes defensive when you question his or her fidelity and responds by accusing you of cheating but has no evidence |
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| X. Kisses you differently than before and/or is more open and confident in bed |
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| Y. Acts differently such that your friends begin asking you what’s wrong |
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| Z. Finally: You sense that he/she is cheating –your gut feeling |
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Finally, be aware that what drives someone to cheat is not simply opportunity but rather the attempt to fill a need for the cheater. If your partner suffers from low self-esteem, there is a greater chance that he or she will cheat because she is either trying to sabotage a good relationship because she doesn’t subconsciously believe she deserves to be treated well or she is still seeking validation and reassurance from others because she simply doesn’t believe she is worthy and good enough.
Patrick Wanis’ books “Get the man you WANT!”, and “How to Get Over It –Breakups, Betrayals and Rejection” ©WOW Media are available at www.patrickwanis.com. Post a comment on Patrick’s Blog or subscribe to his free weekly Success Newsletter at www.patrickwanis.com
Answers: Top Ten Signs Your Partner is Cheating:
10. P 9. F 8. C 7. B 6. W 5. E 4. S 3. X 2. G 1. Z
