In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about guilt: do you feel guilty when others feel guilty for what they did to you? 

First a quick update:  

·         Listen to the interview I gave on “Overcoming Fear” (Annie Jenning’s PR) www.patrickwanis.com/fear·         Look for my new eBook “Find Love Fast” this week at http://patrickwanis.com/TheBook.asp ·         Listen to the controversial interview I gave to Sally Jessy Raphael’s syndicated radio show speaking about Macy Gray and her comments that “Woman is the nigger of the world.”  http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp  

Now let’s talk about guilt. 

The dictionary defines guilt as:  

a.    Remorseful awareness of having done something wrongb.    Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing 

It is a common response that when we do something wrong, we will feel guilty or bad. What matters the most is the way we respond to our guilt. Do we choose to beat ourselves up over our wrongdoing? Do we choose to condemn ourselves, making ourselves feel only worse? Do we say negative things to ourselves such as “I am an idiot…I am stupid…I am a loser…?” Or do we separate ourselves from our actions, accept responsibility for what we have done, try to make amends and learn from the mistake? 

A healthy approach is to say, “I made a mistake. It was a stupid thing to do. Next time, I will do it differently…etc.” Note that saying “I am stupid” is very different to saying “What I did was stupid.” The former only damages and lowers your self-esteem and self-image without helping you to learn, grow or evolve from the experience.  Continue reading “Are you guilty?” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about “Self-talk” – the things that you say to yourself all day long. 

First a quick update:  

• “How Your Mind Prevents Success –and what to do about it” -Listen to the hour-long interview I gave to world-famous sales trainer Blair Singer http://www.patrickwanis.com/success  

·         Listen to the interview I gave to the ladies of XM radio’s Broadminded show about celebrities who sabotage and destroy their lives & success because of their deep beliefs about a lack of self-worth: Michael Vick & The O.J Effect http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp ·         “The Emotional Stresses of Being Overweight” – read my article for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info 

Now let’s talk about Self-talk – the things that you say to yourself. 

Here is an excerpt from my book, “How to Hypnotize Anyone” http://patrickwanis.com/HypnotizeBook.asp  

“We say that only mad people talk to themselves, but the truth is that we all talk to ourselves all day long, without even knowing it. In fact, we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. What are we thinking? What are we telling ourselves, and where does this inner voice come from?  

Self-talk is what we repeat to ourselves – our mental background music. Most of us are not even aware of our self-talk, yet it has a powerful influence on behavior, our stress, motivation and actions.  

This inner voice is often referred to as the chatterbox, because it practically never ceases talking. This inner chatterbox is the voice inside your head that says, “I can’t do it… I’ll fail… I am a loser… I am fat…” or “You can’t afford it… You will never be rich… You’re stupid… You’re ugly…”   Continue reading “Controlling the inner chatterbox” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the significance of valuing yourself. 

First a quick update:  

·         “The Emotional Stresses of Being Overweight” – read my article for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info ·         Listen to my hour-long controversial interview with Professor Jean Twenge from San Diego State University as we discuss and debate narcissism, self-love and self-esteem http://patrickwanis.com/selflove  

Now let’s talk about your value. 

In many articles and interviews, I have referred to what I call the Law of Deservedness: you get only what you subconsciously believe you deserve and no more and if you do get more you will push it away or sabotage it.  Here now is another way to view this point: how much do you value yourself?  

“If you had a million-dollar racehorse, would you feed it junk food, lots of alcohol and let it stay out all night? Would you allow anyone to ride it or would you carefully choose who could ride it? Would you allow people to come into its stable and throw trash everywhere? Obviously, not, so why do you let people treat you like trash? Are you not worth more than a million dollars?”-from my book, “Get What You Want!” 

We often seek ways to blame others for the way they treat us and yet we do not realize that we directly or indirectly teach and train others about the way we want to be treated. In the worst relationship I ever had, my then girlfriend treated me like trash, and each time that she asked me to give her another chance, I did. The pattern though did not get better. In fact, her treatment of me only worsened. Why? The more chances I gave her and the more poor treatment and disrespect I accepted (lying, cheating, manipulating, criticism and selfishness) the more accustomed she became to acting that way towards me. One time, it was her birthday and she ignored my numerous calls because she was speaking to her ex-boyfriend. When I asked her about why she chose to do that she simply replied with, “I thought you would understand.” What she was really saying was, “I thought you would accept whatever I do” -and that was the essence of the relationship.

Continue reading “Value Yourself” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the New Year’s Resolutions and why I say forget them: There is only one thing you need to do in 2008. 

First a quick update:  

·         “How to get almost anyone to like you” – read my article for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info ·         The New York Observer interviewed me to ask how Hypnotherapy could help Britney Spears and if Dr. Phil made a big mistake. Read my response:  http://www.observer.com/2008/expert-how-i-would-save-britney-spears ·         Mischa Barton, Facebook and the Me Generation, read my insights in The New York Observer http://www.observer.com/2007/expert-mischa-barton-facebook-are-symptoms-me-generation ·         Listen to the interview I gave on “Success Principles” (Annie Jenning’s PR) www.patrickwanis.com/successprinciples  

Now let’s talk about New Year’s Resolutions – edited version of the article I wrote for Date.com. Read the full article on my blog. 

Do you know what is the number one New Year’s Resolution?  

Of course, you do – it’s probably yours as well:  

To lose weight! 

The next top resolutions are: Continue reading “Forget New Year’s Resolutions” »