In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about tolerance and compassion. 

First a quick update:  

·         “Why do women crave romance?” Why are women more emotionally charged than men? Why is the woman “the damsel in distress” and the man “the heroic prince”? Read the full article I wrote for date.com and matchmaker.com on my blog. www.patrickwanis.com/blog  

Now let’s talk about tolerance and compassion. Are you compassionate? Here is an excerpt from my book: “Finding God: Spiritual strategies to help you find happiness, fulfillment and inner peace”© 2005  http://patrickwanis.com/GodBook.asp  

“The Dalai Lama is an international spiritual leader who was worked for human rights and peace throughout the world. Although he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, the Dalai Lama still describes himself as “a simple Buddhist monk.” He teaches that, “The foundation of peace is compassion.”  In a series of talks he gave here in the United States, the Dalai Lama said: “Peace [is] not just absence of violence, but peace is something full. Peace means, I think, any action [made] out of compassion, out of sense of concern, out of respect [for] others’ rights; that is peace. So in the promotion of peace we have to create a foundation of peace: that is human compassion.” 

The dictionary defines compassion as: “the deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” When we see and feel the vulnerability, pain and hurt of others around us, it opens our heart and we become less judgmental than before. The very act of recognizing that everyone else around us experiences pain, hurt, doubts and fear just like we do, helps us to feel connected to humanity. Instead of feeling that we are separate, inferior or superior to others, we feel a bond, a sense that essentially we are all the same. We lose our fear and judgment of others. Thus we see past skin color, race, social status, gender, or religious beliefs and we see each other as fellow human beings. Jesus never turned away anyone that needed help or healing, no matter what the person’s background or condition was. Continue reading “Are you compassionate?” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about your identity: who are you? 

First a quick update:  

·         “Jealousy, insecurity and ogling other beautiful people” Listen to the interview I gave to Jim Peake of mysuccessgateway.com about a study that says men and women ogle beautiful people of the opposite sex but also check out and beautiful rivals. I reveal that: Women compete with and are threatened by other beautiful women; the terms that men use to compete with other men; what threatens men; the power struggle that men perpetrate, and; how to make your partner more attracted to you and more secure around you. www.patrickwanis.com/radiointerviews.asp  

Now let’s talk about identity.  

In my last success newsletter, I wrote an appeal that we beware of the common message of advertising that there is something wrong with you, you are not good enough or you are incomplete and therefore you need to purchase xyz products to compensate. In other words, with an ulterior motive the media tells us who we are and what’s wrong with us and how to fix it. This point also ties into your identity. Most of us think of our identity only in terms of our name, gender, age, address and social security number. 

This is what I refer to as our legal identity. 

Recently, I was in New York and spoke to students at Lindenhurst Senior High school (ages 14-18.) I posed the question to the students: Who are you?   

Expectedly, most students answered the question with responses about age, name, siblings and so forth. One student, proudly exclaimed, “I am an aspiring doctor.” I said “No, that’s who you want to be. Who are you?” I kept asking the question until one student, in complete surrender, dropping her head, said “I don’t know what you mean.” I then replied with “Few people know who they truly are. Few people take the time to sit down and think and acknowledge what it is that makes them unique and special. Few people list and acknowledge their own talents, gifts and abilities.”  

Why does this point even matter? Why is it significant? I told the students, “If you don’t know who you are then you will be blindly copying other people; dressing, acting and emulating celebrities; ignorantly listening to and believing what other people say about who and what you are and what you deserve and; you will constantly be seeking other people’s approval.” Parents and psychologists know that it is during our teenage years that we struggle as we seek out our identity. However, the dangers of not being clear about our identity affect all of us, regardless of our age.  

So who are you? What is your identity? 

I explained to the students that we live life in four realms: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Thus, defining who you are must be done within the context of the four realms. Who are you, what do you believe and what do you value in mental, physical, emotional and spiritual terms? What do you believe about yourself, your worth and what you deserve?  What type of world do we live in – a kind, giving world full of opportunities or a mean, selfish world that just takes?  

Although my presentation was highly interactive, whereby I challenged the students to think and speak their truth to me and everyone present, there were times when the entire room became so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. One of the key points to which the students reacted with silence, deep thought, reflection and even shock was when I challenged them to evaluate from where do their beliefs about everything in life come? Of course, the answer is that we learned almost all of our beliefs subconsciously as children by what we saw our parents do (we copied them), by what we heard our parents tell us about us and life (we took on their beliefs) and by what we experienced (conclusions we made about us and life.) 

The key is: we can keep our beliefs or we can change them based on whether they serve us and work in our benefit or not. And the younger and sooner you start, the easier it is to change those beliefs before they become deeply embedded or reinforced.  

Step one is awareness: Who are you and what do you believe about yourself and self-worth? Are you willing to begin to change those beliefs that work against you? 

It is your beliefs that will determine your self-confidence, self-esteem, success and happiness in life. 

If you are interested in becoming supremely confident, consider using my new hypnosis CD: Supreme Self-Confidence. http://patrickwanis.com/SupremeSelfConfidence.asp  

Remember to check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. www.patrickwanis.com  If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page at PatrickWanis.com. 

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!” 

Patrick Wanis
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.patrickwanis.com

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the role that the media plays in telling people that “you are not good enough.” 

First a quick update:  

·         “America: The Most Medicated Nation in The World” –listen to the interview I gave to Sally Jessy Raphael syndicated radio show. Americans spend more than 120 billion dollars a year on anti-depressant drugs and over 51 million people (one in six people) take more than three medications daily. (Traces of pharmaceutical drugs are now showing up in our drinking water.) I give controversial insights about why prescription drug use is so high in the US and offer a fresh definition of depression and approach to treating it. www.patrickwanis.com/radiointerviews.asp ·         “Ban Dating Men” -Diana Falzone of Maxim radio has posted an interesting and controversial call to women in response to men cheating on women highlighted by the recent events with NY Governor Spitzer. Although I do not agree with Diana’s approach, I do welcome open discussion and I might suggest the more radical angle that women are betraying women whenever they choose to have an affair with a man they know is in a relationship…read the blog, article and my response “Men Who Lie and Cheat” at www.patrickwanis.com/blog  

Now let’s talk about the issue of ‘Are you good enough?’ 

Why do we even need to pose this question? 

The latest studies from the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention reveal that Americans are more stressed out than ever, and women top the list. Poor mental health is on the rise and women suffer more than men from frequent mental distress. Women report feeling stressed, depressed, or having problems with their emotions fourteen or more days out of the month. All in all, a large proportion of our modern day society not only suffers from stress but from low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. 

The US is only one of two industrialized countries in the world that allows direct to consumer advertising for pharmaceutical prescription drugs. Interestingly, advertising for drugs in the US began just ten years ago, and there has been a 60% increase in drug dispensation in that time. Do 60% more Americans have chemical imbalances than ten years ago?

Continue reading “Are you good enough?” »