In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about emotional vulnerability and the fear to commit. 

First a quick update:  

·          “The top 5 reasons your man won’t say, ‘I do!’” Watch me live on The Mike and Juliet Morning TV show, tomorrow Thursday May 1, 2008, when I will be revealing the real insights about why men fear or refuse to commit to marriage, and what to do about it. 

Now let’s talk about the link between emotional vulnerability and the fear to commit, a point that I will be highlighting in the TV interview I will be giving tomorrow with Mike and Juliet. 

The dictionary defines “vulnerable” as 1. Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt; susceptible to physical or emotional injury 2. Open to moral attack, criticism or temptation. 

I like to view vulnerability as opening up yourself emotionally to someone else. Vulnerability is emotional intimacy or “into-me-you-see.” In other words, that involves sharing your fears, dreams, aspirations, disappointments, hurts, failures, pain, goals and deepest, most private thoughts.  

I am sure that there are many people reading this right now and shuddering at the thought of doing that, opening up. Most of us fear taking off our mask or masks and revealing our true selves. The fear of removing our masks or becoming emotionally vulnerable is not just a male phenomenon. Many of us hold back out of fear of rejection, criticism or condemnation.

Continue reading “Emotional vulnerablity and commitment” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about responsibility and depression. 

First a quick update:  

·          “How to get almost anyone to like you.” Learn the secrets to the way we communicate and how to use it to your advantage to build instant rapport with almost anyone in any setting. Read the full article I wrote for date.com and matchmaker.com on my blog. www.patrickwanis.com/blog  

Now let’s talk about the link between responsibility and depression. 

The dictionary defines “responsible” as 1. Chargeable with being the author, cause, or occasion of something e.g. Termites were responsible for the damage. 2. Having a capacity for moral decisions and therefore accountable; capable of rational thought or action. 3. Reliable or dependable. 

I like to summarize the above three definitions this way: Being responsible means that you are the author of your life, you write the script by the way that you respond to the things that happen in your life, you have the power to choose in every moment, and only you are accountable for your happiness.  

For most of us, the modus operandi, the way we do things, is to believe that we are being controlled, we have no power, we are not responsible, we are helpless and we are victims.

Continue reading “Responsibility and depression” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about our greatest fear. 

First a quick update:  

·          Insights into human behavior. I have created a series of six short 3 minute videos with insights into the real causes of weight and body shape and the link between our subconscious thoughts, emotions and our physical and mental health. http://patrickwanis.com/Videos.asp  

Now let’s talk about our greatest fear. 

What do you think is the utmost fear we have? 

Is it death, divorce or old age?  

Research shows that in the Western world, our greatest fear is not death, it’s not growing old, it’s not becoming sick and it’s not losing our money.  

Our number one fear is … Continue reading “Our greatest fear” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about how daughters can heal their relationship with their father. 

First a quick update:  

·          “The psychological motivations behind New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s downfall” came when it was revealed he had been using the services of prostitutes for years. Spitzer was the man who led strong, stinging campaigns against corruption and prostitution. How did this happen? I reveal to the ladies of XM radio’s Broadminded radio show the real psychological, neurological and behavioral motivations behind Spitzer’s actions. This is a controversial interview. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp ·         “Fathers and their negative impact on daughters.” Listen to my lengthy conversation with Linda Nielsen, professor of adolescent psychology and women’s studies at Wake Forest University in North Carolina. Linda has been teaching a “Fathers and Daughters” course since 1990, conducting research among her college students for almost 20 years. Linda and I reveal specific ways that daughters can heal their relationship with their father, offering advice, insights and strategies to help women regain their power, sense of self-worth, confidence and self-esteem. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp  

Now let’s talk about how daughters can heal their relationship with their father. 

In my last Success Newsletter, I explained that the relationship that a child has with his or her parents will greatly determine the type of relationships the child has as an adult, as well as his/her self-esteem, self-worth, self-concept and even her weight. In other words, often the dynamic experienced as child will be repeated as an adult. Interestingly, the relationship that a father has with his daughter will affect the daughter on many levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually. For example, a woman who didn’t receive much attention from her father as a child will grow up to be very insecure and will often be subconsciously motivated to endlessly pursue male attention to compensate. 

I received a huge response to that newsletter with people requesting more information, advice and guidance.  

So what to do if you are the daughter who didn’t have the healthy relationship with dad? Continue reading “How daughters can heal their relationship with their father” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the impact fathers have on their daughters. 

First a quick update:  

·         “Is it cheating?” What constitutes cheating?  Is cheating kissing or sleeping with someone? What are the boundaries? And is cheating only physical or can there also be, “emotional cheating”? Take the quiz and Read the full article I wrote for date.com and matchmaker.com on my blog. www.patrickwanis.com/blog  

Now let’s talk about fathers and their effect on their daughters.  

As a Human Behavior Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have long taught that the relationship that a child has with his or her parents will greatly determine the type of relationships the child has as an adult. In other words, often the dynamic experienced as child will be repeated as an adult. And this occurs because the child forms beliefs and conclusions about his or her self-worth, self-image and self-esteem. The child also forms definitions of love – even if they are twisted and unsatisfying as an adult. In fact, most of the work I do with clients is about healing the client’s childhood relationship with his or her parents and helping the client to create new beliefs about him or herself, his/her self-worth and the world around him/her. 

For example, a girl who was raised by an abusive or highly critical father will often find herself in adult relationships with men who are also abusive or highly critical. In one case, a woman had never been told she was pretty or beautiful by her father when she was a child. As an adult she subconsciously believed that she is not pretty or beautiful and she continued to repeat the pattern of being attracted to men with whom she does not feel pretty or attractive. Specifically, she was in a live-in relationship with a man for three years and their physically intimate relationship became almost non-existent to the point where she said to me, “I feel like there is sign on my forehead that says I am ugly.” In turn, when she did find a man who praised and complimented her for her beauty she sabotaged the relationship because she didn’t believe that she is beautiful and continued seeking more men to try to prove to herself that she is pretty and beautiful, only to feel resentful, empty and ugly. Of course, the key to her happiness was to change her belief and understanding about why her dad never complimented her and to convince her at a subconscious level that there is nothing wrong with her – she is not ugly, she is pretty and beautiful. 

Interestingly, the relationship that a father has with his daughter will affect the daughter on many levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually. Continue reading “How dads influence their daughters” »