In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to offer a powerful suggestion that will help you to enjoy Thanksgiving and the Holidays.

First a quick update:

·         “Avoiding Holiday Stress”  -Listen to the radio interview I give to world famous TV personality Sally Jessy Raphael about my top nine tips, techniques and strategies to prevent arguments, fights and stress around the Holidays. I also reveal insights into the male and female traits that create hurt, pain, depression and major disappointments during the Holidays. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#EasingHolidayStress

·         “Personality Quiz” – Are you a “Talker, Doer, Thinker or Watcher”? Find out and learn how to use the information to help you to succeed in business and personal relationships. I usually only present this personality profile test live at seminars and corporate training programs but it will be available for download on my website Wednesday December 3, 2008  

Now, let’s talk about Thanksgiving and the Holidays. They are supposed to be the happiest times of the year but often prove to be the unhappiest and most miserable for many people, with arguments, breakups, loneliness, sadness and depression.

The first recorded Thanksgiving ceremony took place on September 8, 1565, when 600 Spanish settlers landed at what is now St. Augustine, Florida, and immediately held a Mass of Thanksgiving for their safe delivery to the New World; there followed a feast and celebration. Today, Thanksgiving can be a time to stop and express appreciation and gratitude for everything and everyone in your life. However, the Holidays automatically trigger every insecurity that we have as well as our fears, anger, frustration, resentment, bitterness, guilt and shame that we feel or hide deep inside; we become emotionally vulnerable when we spend time with the people closest to us – our family, and when we combine that with our expectations of them and of ourselves it’s easy for eruptions to occur. And this year, as many people face job losses and a lack of financial resources, dealing with gifts and children will be even more painful.

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to illustrate the point that it’s not your fault for the way others respond to you. 

First a quick update:  

·         “New Personality Test”  -Due to popular demand I will be making available my personality test – “Talker, Doer, Thinker, Watcher” within the next two weeks. I usually only present this personality profile test live at seminars and corporate training programs but I will be releasing it as a complement to the Subconscious Imagery Personality Test. http://patrickwanis.com/SubconsciousPersonalityTest.asp  

Now, let’s talk about an issue that we all face: blaming ourselves for the things that people say or do to us. Here is an excerpt from my upcoming audio book: “Secrets to Getting Over it”: 

“Good Will Hunting” is one of my all-time favorite movies.  Robin Williams plays the role of Sean a therapist who’s the only one who seems to be able to connect with Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon.) Will is a young boy who happens to be a genius but there’s one block to his success – his belief about himself.  On the outside, Will Hunting portrays this arrogance, self-confidence, and this air that he knows everything.  He can quote books from the back to the front.  He has read all of the philosophies.  He has read all of the textbooks.  He has an amazing knowledge of life, or at least of textbooks but not life.  The block to Will Hunting’s happiness is his past.  It’s his childhood, and as the movie unfolds Will Hunting’s childhood story is told: he was beaten and abused by his father and was even given a choice as to which item his father was going to hit him with, a wrench, a stick, or a belt.  Will Hunting proudly says that he chose the metal object because it was his way of saying to his father “F you.” Continue reading “It’s not your fault” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share strategies and insights into how to handle the fear about the economy and current state of affairs. 

First a quick update:  

·         Can a child be a murderer?”  An 8 year-old boy in Arizona confessed to planning and murdering his father and a second man, potentially making him the youngest killer in US history. But did the boy really murder these two men? Was it a real confession or was it coerced? Can an eight year-old child be fully cognizant of right and wrong, his actions, and their consequences? Can a young boy be evil or be a psychopath? What was going on the boy’s head? Listen to my interview on XM radio’s Broadminded show where I explore the cultural, psychological and neurological aspects of this case, including the development of the human brain. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp 

Now, let’s talk about how to handle the fear.  The present state of affairs around the world is causing fear amongst people – fear about the economy, war, terrorism and the future. For many people, there is great uncertainty and for others the challenge is about getting-by; basic survival.  

I would like to begin by helping you to understand what fear really is with an excerpt from my book: “Get What You Want”: 

“Fear is the greatest killer of all human potential. Fear is what stops us from even trying to get what we want. Fear stands between us and everything we want out of life. 

Fear, though does not exist. 

Read that sentence again. 

You might be shocked even annoyed by that statement because fear does feel real. Its physical crippling effect on our body, mind and emotions is real. But fear is not something tangible. We cannot hold it, see it or touch it. Fear is simply a thought, a very powerful thought. Fear is the anticipation of pain, and our mind responds quickly to the alarm bell that pain is imminent or possible. Again, fear is always set in the future. We cannot experience fear in the present moment.

Continue reading “Handling the fear” »

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the lessons of success from Senator John McCain. 

As people around the globe celebrate the historic and unprecedented win by Senator Barack Obama as President-elect of the USA, my purpose in writing this newsletter is not to discuss politics, voting choices or ideologies but rather to highlight the success principles that can be gleaned from the extraordinary response by Senator John McCain to the win by Senator Obama. 

Accepting and acknowledging defeat or a loss is probably one of the hardest challenges that we all must face in life. And no matter how talented, successful or smart we might be, no matter who our counsel or guide is, no matter how well prepared we might be, defeat and loss will confront us; be it in the form of a goal not achieved, a failure of a business or a relationship, or a dream not realized. The difference between our ultimate failure and success, between misery and enjoyment, between bitterness and satisfaction, depends not on the original loss or defeat but rather, it depends entirely on our response to that loss or defeat. 

Senator John McCain’s concession speech last night was an astoundingly exemplary and inspirational speech. It would be expected, maybe even understandable, for the defeated person to express disappointment, bitterness, regrets or even resentment towards the victor. But Senator McCain did no such thing. Instead, he completely dissolved his own ego and disappointment to honor the achievement of Barack Obama, the will of the American people, and to put his country first above his own personal dreams or goals.

Continue reading “Lessons from Senator John McCain” »