In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal an exercise that will help you release the past year and empower you to set new intentions and realize them in the new year!
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalized advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
“I Don’t Want To Go”
Holly Butcher from NSW, Australia was just 27 when she lost her battle to Ewing’s sarcoma – a rare form of cancer in and around the bones that mainly affects young people. But a moving letter she penned one week before her death has gone viral after reminding others to cherish life. Watch my video
Now, let’s talk about an exercise that will help you release the past year and empower you to set new intentions and realize them in the new year!
Each new year, the resolutions appear – and very soon they tend to disappear. As I have mentioned before about New Year’s Resolutions, “Less than twenty percent of the people that make resolutions are successful in attaining success in even one of their resolutions!”
Part of the explanation of failure to realize goals is that the expected motivation is will power. You want to renew yourself but in order to actually achieve goals, you also need to understand that life is lived inside out – your internal world works to create your external world; it is your thoughts that lead to emotions that then lead to action and therefore produce results.
You need to renew yourself from the inside out. Your goals need to be meaningful and in alignment with your values, and they need to have real leverage and motivation.
Accordingly, here is an exercise I created and use that will truly help you to renew yourself and achieve meaningful goals!
Motivation – the benefits of this exercise
You will identify, articulate and release emotions; you will gain awareness and a new perspective of what you experienced in the past year and the significance of those events. You will identify the real things that need changing.
Preparation – what you need to do first
Get a note pad and pen. Yes, this exercise must be done by hand not keyboard. Writing by hand you will write more words, write faster, express more ideas, retain more information and, you will comprehend more than if you write with a keyboard.
1. Summarizing the past year
Set aside 30 – 60 minutes of undivided attention – free of all distractions i.e. close the door and turn off your phone.
1. The list. On the left of the page, write a column of each of the months and make some notes of major events that happened in each month. Beware of fooling yourself by saying you simply want to forget some of those things or even the entire year for that matter. Again, the key to benefiting from this exercise is to glean lessons from those tough, painful past events – as well as to uncover anything that you might be trying to escape or hide; those things are the ones you must face head-on!
2. Start writing. Reread your list of events and on a new page, begin to write whatever thoughts come to you i.e. ‘This was such a hard year because…’ Keep writing and ensure that you mention what you felt as well as what happened. Describe how that event affected you and anything else that you learned from it.
3. Notice themes. I did this exercise over multiple sittings because I wanted to go into depth over the past year that was full of so many different events and experiences. Soon, I noticed multiple recurring themes throughout the entire past year such as the desire to control. I then drew a box and put the title “Intentions – let go of control, be more accepting.”
4. List emotions. I also wrote a list on a full page of all of the various emotions that I experienced in the past year, and then I selected some of those emotions and wrote about the cause of them. For example, I identified sadness (which is triggered by a sense of loss) and noted that a major change had resulted in sadness, even though I had not given it that much thought (trying to avoid the emotion) prior to this exercise. Listing and describing the cause/trigger for the emotions is beneficial because it helps you to fully appreciate what you experienced along with the resilience you demonstrated, and it helps you to have more compassion for yourself, and more pride in your overcoming past challenges.
The themes you will discover will help you set your goals and intentions for the new year, and those goals will be more meaningful and will have more motivation for you than simply stating “I want to lose weight.”
You can come back to this exercise many times until you feel that you have covered the entire year in depth.
2. Expressing Gratitude
1. The list. As you did with step one of summarizing the year, now write out the 12 months of the year in a column on the left and next to each of the months outline some of the major events and people for whom you can be grateful.
2. Ponder. Reread your list of major events and people who supported, encouraged, assisted, or did something else that truly benefited you. Perhaps you might even include the people who were not so kind or glaringly positive but from whom you learned life lessons or whom unknowingly helped or forced you to evolve or become more resilient and self-efficacious.
3. Start writing. On a new page, create a heading for each event or person to whom you wish to express gratitude. Write out the event, the players and how that person and/or event impacted you. Describe the emotions and the benefits. And, if you choose, you can also write a separate thank you note or letter to that person,
Again, as with step 1, you can also come back to this exercise many times until you feel that you have covered the entire year in depth.
3. Setting new intentions
As you review your writing and the themes you uncovered, you can now write a list of the intentions and goals for the new year. Again, first just write them as headings on paper. Next, you can begin to think about how you are going to make them specific, tangible, measurable, and with a deadline.
Now write them as a clearly defined goal. Remember, that there is a difference between a goal of external achievement (money, finances, possessions, weight, skills) and an intention of character or behavioral change (kindness, empathy, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, joy, positivity, resilience, hope, etc.)
Accordingly, if you are going to state “My intention is to be less controlling and less critical”, then think of adjusting it to “My intention is to be more accepting and to look for the positive in life.” Next, come up with some specific examples of interactions with friends and colleagues where you can be more accepting, praise others and look for the positive in life. Remember, it takes many days (or weeks) of practice until the new behavior becomes an automatic habit.
Finally, it is critical to have a specific and measurable goal, it is critical to focus on the benefits of achieving your goal and, it is equally critical to have a practical action plan that you can do each day to realize your goals, intentions and dreams.
If you need personal help and guidance to change your behavior and results and you wish to experience new emotions, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.