Imagine a little girl who has extreme attacks of asthma every time her dad gets angry and punches the wall, or children who are diagnosed with ADHD and yet have a long history of childhood trauma. These are all actual cases.
Communicate with your friends and express everything you are feeling; go deeper than the anger and frustration. If you want to “be real”, and to “keep it real”, then be open and vulnerable. You will learn that you are not alone in experiencing problems, and you can receive support and give support to your friends.
“The Fertile Void” is a space or phase when you can’t make sense of what is happening, you cannot attribute real meaning to it; you are unsure about who you are, where you are, where you’re heading and what life is about, and so it feels empty, completely empty.
Controlling your emotions is not equivalent to preventing, denying or escaping an emotion…You are not the emotion; you are experiencing the emotion…As soon as you feel the emotion, say aloud…
The media focuses on creating fear and pain because we automatically and neurologically respond more to the fear of pain than to the enticement or announcement of pleasure. We scan for danger, to avoid threats and to try to allay our deeper unconscious fears of death and dying.
Think of your own life prior to the pandemic; what did you believe was guaranteed or certain? Your marriage, relationship, job, career, health, or investments?…Most people choose predictability, the known and even routine over the unknown because it gives a sense of safety, security, and stability. However, life is not experienced in a linear fashion.
Covid-19 and forced togetherness easily bring out the worst in relationships (i.e. the truth is being presented and people are exposed for who they really are because there are less distractions, and less escaping each other and oneself.) Also, the expectations you set for each other changes dramatically in the context of Covid-19.
The Butterfly Effect – part of the Chaos Theory – states that one very small change may result in massive and unpredictable consequences: one seemingly insignificant moment may alter history and shape multiple destinies. The term comes from Edward Lorenz who in 1961 created an early computer program to simulate weather.
“A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.”
Moments passed when a policeman walked out in the divide, toward the protesters. He stopped halfway, and then he suddenly got down on one knee. Within a second, there were so many loud screams ringing out as the protesters went running to him, and they, too, got down on their knees and hugged the policeman.
“Batman and Superman are not coming to save the world. It will be up to you.” Admiral McRaven MIT Speech
Speaking the truth can be dangerous at times…If you are going to save the world, you will need courage…If you are going to save the world, you will need to be humble…If you do not approach the world with humility, it will find a way to humble you quickly.
7. Reality Check. If you pause, you will realize that the majority of your pain stems from wanting things to be different – the inability (refusal to accept) that things are not the way you want them to be. Perhaps you want the past to be better, different or to never end. We often fall into the misconception and expectation that things, relationships, and people will last forever and never change or, worse, that they will change the way we want.
The pandemic has resulted in huge losses and major changes for all of us – lifestyle, work, job, career, finances, routine, stability, security, the former sense of safety & control, freedom, independence, human interactions, human connection & touch, meaning and purpose, dreams, ambitions, and life goals. We all are experiencing some form of grief and at various intensities. Grief can include feelings of being alone & unsupported, numbness, heaviness, guilt, sadness, confusion, anger, loneliness, relief, disconnection, hopelessness, and meaninglessness.
Resiliency is your ability to bounce back from setbacks, disappointments and failures, and to do so with new wisdom, new insights and with added motivation. Resiliency can be developed and enhanced. Most people simply doubt themselves and their ability to bounce back!
You have the ability, power and capacity to decide in every single moment who and what you will be; you get to decide what meaning you are going to give to your life. You and only you, decide what is meaningful & consequential and what is meaningless and of no importance.
12 Questions To Ask Yourself That Will Help You Through The Crisis And Help You To Bounce Back and Become Resilient
Around 600 BC, one of the 7 sages of Greece inscribed on a temple in Delphi the words, “Know Thyself.” It’s critical right now to