Hopelessness does not sustain life!
So, what is hope to you? Is it a desire; wishful thinking; probability, possibility or just an emotion of expecting something good or better?
Here are the 7 most common self-sabotaging behaviors following a breakup and which I have identified through both work with clients and the responses of over 4,000 people who have taken my free Breakup Test.
The core strategy for anyone to control you is to make you the child by convincing you that you cannot trust yourself, that they know what is best for you, and, that they can fulfill your needs.
You will also experience sadness when there is a change in your life, particularly a dramatic change or end – again, even if you wanted or made that change yourself. You will also feel sad because your identity has been shattered due to the breakup, as well as the shattering or sudden end of routines, habits, and family and friend connections.
“Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the future, the positive thinker ends up being less prepared, and more acutely distressed, when things eventually happen that he can’t persuade himself to believe are good.”
People with a fixed mindset tend to ignore useful negative feedback – ‘I am my mistakes, I am my failures, I am innately bad; they are attacking me personally.’
The thoughts that create suffering are the thoughts whereby you refuse to accept change, or you resist or struggle against people and things over which you have no control. You cannot change or control the people in your life, and nothing remains the same, nothing lasts forever: Impermanence is a fact of life.
One form of happiness leads to health via an anti-inflammatory and anti-viral response in the body, while the other leads to a decrease in the anti-viral response and an high increase in inflammation implicated in stress and a wide spectrum of diseases such as arthritis and heart disease.
When you decide that it is your role to please everyone or to make everyone else around you happy, then you will never be able to be you, you will never be able to be authentic or true to yourself, and you will be confused about who you really are because you are constantly changing yourself to be what others expect of you, or, what you think they expect of or need from you.
How many times per minute do you breathe? Without being consciously aware, you are probably breathing 12 -18 times per minute, and that is very unhealthy, triggering more stress and anxiety, disrupting sleep, and damaging your body.