I was bias: I saw, and still see the world with rose-colored glasses while embracing reality; I see and look for the opportunities; I believe in my own capabilities and refuse to be a victim (which would otherwise render me weak, powerless and hopeless.)
Further, when being humiliated, the more you blame yourself or accept the blame, the more you will feel shame; the less you blame yourself and the more you blame the other person for humiliating you, the more you will feel anger. Humiliation: Shame leads to withdrawal; anger leads to revenge.
When dating after 50, women will expect you the man to be financially secure, a good conversationalist who is also seeking substance over glamor & looks, honest, and with a meaningful life of his own.
There will be red flags and you might ignore them if you are eager to date after divorce or if you are desperate due to loneliness and shattered confidence. Beware of the ‘perfect person’, and beware of the ‘person still in pain.’
Rejection and loss feel like actual heartache. And the very strategies we adopt to help us with physical pain can also reduce emotional pain. Social support lessens physical pain and, it lessens emotional pain. Holding the hand of your partner lessens both physical and emotional pain, and it is more effective than holding the hand of a stranger or using a squeeze ball.
If you believe in a just world, then you must also believe that the victim is to blame: “She got what was coming to her! You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. He got his just deserts.”
Finding yourself and being authentic means living in alignment with your values and beliefs. Finding yourself and being true to yourself is living out your values, passion and interests. However, if you have been in an abusive, narcissistic or controlling relationship, it will be challenging to clearly determine what your values are, and what it is that you want and like.
William Heimbigner
Love feels like addiction, and love is like an addiction. Why? Because being in love creates the same rush in your brain as does being on cocaine!
Love Has The 4 Key Characteristics Of An Addiction: Craving, Tolerance/Obsession, Withdrawal/Dependence, and Relapse.
Sexual abuse always involves methods of: 1 Coercion (threats, harassment, intimidation); 2 Manipulation (psychological manipulation or the use of alcohol or drugs) or; 3 Outright force (physical dominance or drugging of the victim.)