If You Feel Inferior, You Consented To It

On this week’s success newsletter, I would like to reveal that you are always in control and if you feel inferior it is because you consented to it.

First, a quick update

• New start – What makes a great coach? Someone who has the ability to bring out the best in his client. John Wooden, former UCLA basketball coach whose team won 10 national championships in 12 years, teaches how to make a new start and succeed: https://www.patrickwanis.com/dont-whine-complain-excuses/
• Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
• How to heal subconscious traumas from childhood – Almost every client complains that they have been through many years of every kind of therapy without any success. Why? Most therapies deal only with the symptom and never get to the root cause of the issue or they don’t know how to heal the root cause. My unique technique helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist: https://youtu.be/qmvSkh5u1J8

Now, let’s talk about how you are always in control and if you feel inferior it is because you consented to it.

I have defined anxiety as the belief that one’s world is out of control coupled with the attempt to control that which one cannot control.

And it is true that there are things beyond our immediate control – from the weather and the choices other people will make to inflation and taxes!

Nonetheless, there are things that are within our control and the most important one is our thoughts.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

What are you thinking most of the time?
We have over 65,000 thoughts a day; what do you think is your dominant and repeating thought?

Few people realize that they are actually in control of their thoughts and that they give consent to others to influence or determine their own thoughts.

For example, a client was revealing her experience of being bullied as a young child. Being the victim of bullying is a common occurrence for many children. And as I have explained in the past, children are real victims because they cannot fully fend and defend themselves.

Most girls who are bullied, experience verbal attacks by other girls, whereas boys who are bullied usually experience physical attacks by other boys; boys tend be physical and girls tend to be verbal.

This particular client, Julie (name changed), experienced verbal bullying and it left her feeling insecure, fearful, anxious and powerless as an adult.

While using my SRTT process, I helped her to realize that she is in control and she is in charge, and she makes the decision about how she will feel about herself. While using SRTT and a special dissociative component to keep her safe and prevent her from re-experiencing the pain and bullying, we revisited an old memory and she conversed with her image of herself as a child. Remember, the subconscious mind works in pictures and symbols; the subconscious mind is the seat of our emotions.

Patrick
Someone has to tell her that she is allowed to feel happy and secure. Who is going to tell little Julie that she’s allowed to feel happy and secure?

Julie
I will; herself.

Patrick
Someone has to tell her that it’s okay to be happy, it’s okay to be herself.

Julie
I’ll tell her.

Patrick
So what are you going to tell her?

Julie
That it’s OK to be happy; it’s OK to be yourself.

Patrick
Great.
And what did we say earlier?

Julie
‘You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.’

Patrick
Yes. So, who tried to tell the little girl that she isn’t allowed to be happy?

Julie
The girls.

Patrick
Are the girls her boss?

Julie
No.

Patrick
Are the girls her parents?

Julie
No.

Patrick
Does she want to feel powerful or does she want to feel helpless and powerless?

Julie
She wants to be happy

Patrick
So she is allowed to be happy and so you say to the group of girls:
‘You can no longer control this little girl because this little girl will decide for herself what she thinks and feels.’

Julie
It’s hard.

Patrick
Ok. Why is it hard? It can be hard or it can be easy. Why is it a challenge?
Because no one ever said to the little Julie, ‘You can think and feel whatever you want; you can decide what you want to do; you little Julie can decide how you think and feel.

The truth is that little Julie always decided how she would think and she would feel. She was always making that decision. The problem was that in the past, before she would make her decision and decide how she would think and how she would feel, she would check in with the girls. And the girls would say ‘we want you to feel unhappy’ and little Julie would respond with ‘OK. I will feel unhappy.’ Before she would make her decision and decide how she would think and how she would feel, she would check in with the girls. And the girls would say ‘we want you to feel insecure and worthless’ and little Julie would respond with ‘OK. I will feel insecure and worthless.’ So yes, little Julie has always been making the decisions, but she would let the other girls decide for her. Do you understand that? Do you understand she has always been making the decisions? She has actually always been in control?

Julie
Yes.

Patrick
So really, not much has changed except that, she is now not going to check with them about how she is going to think and she is going to feel. She is going to check with herself. So yes, now she is not a victim because she decided she would let them control her. She decided ‘I will check with the other girls to see if I should be happy or sad; whether I should feel good about myself or bad about myself; whether I should be happy with my looks or unhappy with my looks; whether I should like my looks or hate my looks. They didn’t make the decision for her; she made the decision on her own, but, she asked them before she made her decision.
Do you want her to continue asking the girls?

Julie
No.

Patrick
Then what do you want her to do?

Julie
I want to stick to my guns.

Patrick
And who is going to give you permission to stick to your guns?

Julie
Myself.

Patrick
Excellent. What do you say to little Julie?

Julie
You have to stick to your guns.

Patrick
What does she say back to you?

Julie
I will to stick to my guns.

Patrick
What do you say to her?

Julie
Good!

Patrick
What do you do as you put your arms around her? You say, ‘Thank you. Well done. I am proud of you!’

And how does she respond?

Julie
She says ‘Thank you.’

The above excerpt is a small section of a powerfully effective process I created – SRTT. Again, the intention is that Julie awakens and makes the change at a subconscious level to make her own decisions; to choose herself how she will feel about herself. Ultimately, the process changes the way we perceive ourselves and what happened to us, and, it releases emotions that bind or imprison us.

Just as in the case of the little child, Julie, we all do this on a daily basis, don’t we? We let others decide the way we are going to think and feel.

Obviously, in some cases, certain people need help to break free from the subconscious thoughts and emotions that exist as a result of past experiences. However, every day, we have the opportunity, the power and the choice to determine whether or not we will feel good about ourselves, free of the opinion of others!

If you need help to achieve this and wish to experience the SRTT process, click here to book a session.

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I wish you the best and remind you, “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”