It’s Over – Let The Dead Leaves Drop

In this week’s Success Newsletter,

How to recognize when a relationship is over, and it’s time to let those dead leaves drop and allow for a rebirth in your life.

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Now, let’s talk about how to recognize when something (your relationship) is over, and it’s time to let those dead leaves drop and allow for a rebirth in your life.

Autumn is the third season of the year, marking the transition from Summer to Winter, when the leaves also fall.

In the same way that the leaves fall, and the tree is bare before new leaves begin to sprout and eventually grow to their full size, so too is your life cyclical.

Although one might argue that love lasts forever, nothing else lasts forever.

Who do you know that holds onto people, relationships, jobs, possessions, behaviors, bad habits, negative emotions and other things as if they are permanent or as if they are destined to last forever?

Who do you know that holds onto the past, when in fact, the past is also dead?

“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.”
– Rumi

Letting “dead leaves drop” of a relationship requires 3 steps:

1. Recognizing when something is over – when its value has gone
2. Taking the conscious decision to release your psychological attachment to that thing
3. Removing that thing from your life and taking action to bring something new into your life

1. When It’s Over

How do you know when something has run its course?

When it no longer brings the same or necessary value as before; when it does not benefit you and either weighs you down (prevents you from growing, evolving or experiencing more of life) or it tears you down (painful emotions or drains you physically and psychologically.)

For something (or someone) to run its course, also implies that it no longer meets your needs or expectations; ‘losing its value’ applies to people, relationships and tangible things.

Are you able to review your life and recognize those people, relationships and areas that have run their course and therefore lost their value?

2. Releasing psychological attachment

Attachment is the mental and emotional bond that you have with something or someone. You might have a strong attachment to your car, job, house or friend. Therefore, those things and people also have a strong impact on you, and to some extent might even be controlling you – either you give them a lot of mental power (thoughts) or you give them a lot of emotional energy (feeling high or low based on the state of those things or people.)

Releasing your psychological attachment implies that you identify how ‘it’ controls and impacts you and you shift your consciousness to accepting that it is over and that you can have and create happiness (and get your needs met) elsewhere; you are no longer fully dependent or expectant on those things and people to meet your needs; you are willing to consciously form a new identity.

3. Removing the old for the new

In the same way that the tree lets the dead leaves drop and remains bare for a while, so too, do you drop those dead things from your life and begin to take action to create new life, new leaves, new colors, new people and new things.

The only block to letting go of the old, dead leaves is fear. Of what are you afraid?

Most likely, the fear is based in a lack of trust:

Do you trust that you can be resilient and bounce back?
Do you trust in your own abilities and efficacy to create what you want?
Do you trust that there are still plenty of other opportunities in life?
Do you trust that it is not ‘too late’?
Do you trust that it is still possible (whatever possible means to you)?
Do you trust in your own motivation and hope needed to set new goals?
Do you trust that you are worthy and deserving of what you want and desire?
Do you trust that you will be okay no matter what happens?
Do you trust that you can experience the sadness of letting go (loss) and then rebirth?

Building a support system can assist you to address and overcome the fears that stand in your way of letting go of the old, dead leaves so that you can consciously redesign your life.

If you need help to truly let go and create new and better things in your life, book a one-on-one session with me.

You can add to the conversation below.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D. s
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist