After all, agreements exist to serve people, not the other way round.

A lot of people are tempted to cheat not because things are wrong with them or their mate, but because they and their mate are locked into a partnership agreement that doesn’t suit their real needs or desires. Monogamy and cheating are not the only options.

In open or polyamorous relationships, you and your partner can connect socially, emotionally, and/or sexually with other people. And those options are openly a part of your relationship agreement. I find such relationships have a lot of advantages, including:

+ My partners and I can both get from other people things we don’t get from each other. We don’t feel lacking and needy, or pressured to fill all the needs of our partner whether we want to or not.

+ Being with each person helps me appreciate ALL my partners more.

+ There’s incentive to be transparent about what we’re doing, rather than to cheat and then lie about it, as is the tendency in monogamous relationships.

+ Each partner and I know we are with each other because we choose to be, not because we lack other options. That’s gratifying… and helps us keep from taking each other for granted.

+ If you have kids, an open or polyamorous relationship teaches by example that love is not about owning and controlling a partner, but about freeing and empowering them.

This isn’t the Dark Ages anymore. If parts of your relationship aren’t working, consider both what you can do to make it work better WITHIN the current agreement, and changing the agreement that “frames” your relationship to give both you and your partner options that fit you better.