In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share my quiz to help you find out if you are an emotional hoarder.
First a quick update:
“Is a lie a lie”
In my newsletter “Men are evolving despite the lies” I revealed the results of a “groundbreaking survey” of men; I also called out 2 reporters for lying about the findings – men actually want an intelligent woman first, not an attractive woman first. However, one reader didn’t like that I labeled the lie as a lie! Read the comment and my response.
“Coaches, counselors and therapists”
Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist.
Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert
“Why do you always need to be right?”
All of us, have at one time or another argued to make our point or win an argument. However, some people believe that they must be right all of the time. What causes this behavior? Watch my video here.
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Now, let’s talk about my quiz to help you determine if you are an emotional hoarder.
“Hoarding disorder” is a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to save them. A person with hoarding disorder experiences distress at the thought of getting rid of the items. Excessive accumulation of items, regardless of actual value, occurs.”
In the same way that physical hoarders accumulate physical, tangible stuff, emotional hoarders accumulate emotional stuff.
Physical hoarders create severe emotional attachments to inanimate objects (and sometimes to animals); emotional hoarders create severe emotional attachments to memories and past events.
Both forms of hoarding are crippling emotionally and psychologically, and both forms of hoarding damage and sabotage relationships; both forms cripple your life and prevent you from enjoying life now.
Here is a simple quiz to help you determine if you are an emotional hoarder. Answer the questions first, and then scroll down to determine your score and its meaning.
Quiz: Are you an emotional hoarder?
1. How do you describe your dominant emotion or emotions? List them
2. Do you constantly think of things in the past which then trigger negative emotions?
3. Is your sleep interrupted by negative emotions or negative thoughts? For example, do you wake up during the night thinking about something that someone has done to you or something that happened to you?
4. When something goes wrong, for how long do you feel sadness, anger, aggression, disappointment, guilt or shame?
5. When something goes wrong, what action do you take to remedy the situation?
6. How often do you experience these emotions – anger, resentment, hurt, jealousy, envy, bitterness, greed, negativity, grudges, revenge, guilt, shame, regret, remorse, fear?
7. Is there one event which, when you think about it, you experience any of the emotions listed in Question 6?
8. Is there one person whom, when you think about him/her, you experience any of the emotions listed in Question 6?
9. Is there a person whom you describe as unforgivable?
10. For how long (how many years) have you carried the belief and conclusion that this person is unforgivable?
11. Do you or have you withdrawn from activities that were once pleasurable?
12. Do your parents (or did they) hold onto grudges and often bring up past mistakes or wrongdoings?
13. What is your earliest memory of holding onto a grudge? What age were you?
14. Which do you think the most about – a current relationship or a past relationship?
15. Which makes you feel safer – the past or the present?
Results and meaning of my quiz on emotional hoarding:
1. Are your dominant emotions, negative emotions? How do you describe your dominant emotion or emotions? List them. If your dominant emotion or emotions are negative, then add 5 points.
2. Do you constantly think of things in the past which then trigger negative emotions? If yes, add 5 points.
3. Is your sleep interrupted by negative emotions or negative thoughts? For example, do you wake up during the night thinking about something that someone has done to you or something that happened to you? If you answered with “yes”, add 5 points. If you wake up with negative thoughts or feelings on a regular basis, add 10 points.
4. When something goes wrong, for how long do you feel sadness, anger, aggression, disappointment, guilt or shame? A few days, a long time or ‘I can’t let go’? If you answered with “a long time” add 5 points; if you answered with “I can’t let go” add 10 points.
5. When something goes wrong, what action do you take to remedy the situation? If you answered that you take no action, add 5 points.
6. How often do you experience these emotions – anger, resentment, hurt, jealousy, envy, bitterness, greed, negativity, grudges, revenge, guilt, shame, regret, remorse, fear? Daily, weekly or constantly? If you answered with ‘daily’, add 10 points; if you answered with weekly add 5 points; if you answered with ‘constantly’, add 15 points.
7. Is there one event which, when you think about it, you experience any of the emotions listed in Question 6? If you answered with “yes”, add 5 points.
8. Is there one person whom, when you think about him/her, you experience any of the emotions listed in Question 6? If you answered with “yes”, add 5 points.
9. Is there a person whom you describe as unforgivable? If you answered with “yes”, add 10 points.
10. For how long (how many years) have you carried the belief and conclusion that this person is unforgivable? A few years or many years? If you answered with “a few years” add 5 points; if you answered with “many years”, add 10 points.
11. Do you or have you withdrawn from activities that were once pleasurable? If you answered with “yes”, add 5 points.
12. Do your parents (or did they) hold onto grudges and often bring up past mistakes or wrongdoings? If you answered with “yes”, add 5 points.
13. What is your earliest memory of holding onto a grudge? What age were you? If you answered with age 10-15 years, add 5 points.
14. Which do you think the most about – a current relationship or a past relationship? If you answered with “past relationship”, add 5 points.
15. Which makes you feel safer – the past or the present? If you answered with “the past”, add 5 points.
Your score:
0 – 30 Points: You are adept at letting go of hurts and the past
35 – 70 Points: You are a selective emotional hoarder and you need to identify the things that you need to let go and get rid of
75 Points: You are definitely an emotional hoarder
75 -105 Points: Emotional hoarding is most likely crippling your life and preventing you from truly enjoying your life
If you scored 75 points and above, then consider taking action now to let go of those things that are sabotaging your life – the feelings, perceptions and interpretations of things that have happened in your life. You can book a session with me for help and resolution, click here.
In next week’s Success Newsletter, I offer 4 steps to help you to overcome emotional hoarding.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.