In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss vulnerability, what it is and the link to the fairytale of Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
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“I Got My Voice! But I Didn’t Think It Would Work!”
In one SRTT session, Jarrett gets his voice. I got to the root cause of Jarrett’s subconscious issue and block and helped him without reliving trauma or pain. “I’m a grown man – not that little boy anymore. I can speak up and be assertive now!” says Jarrett. Watch my video
Now, let’s talk about vulnerability, what it is and the link to the fairytale of Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf.
We all know the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.
In the fairy tale, Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest to take a basket of food to her grandmother and she is told to stay on the path. The Big Bad Wolf who wants to eat her and her food suggests she pick up some flowers for her grandmother while he secretly makes his way to grandma’s house and disguises himself as grandma. His intention is to eat Little Red Riding Hood which he does in the first published version of this fairy tale.
Little Red Riding Hood is vulnerable to the Big Bad Wolf.
Most of us perceive being vulnerable as if we are Little Red Riding Hood and we are going to be devoured by the Big Bad Wolf!
Accordingly, many people refuse to take risks by being vulnerable; they refuse to walk through the forest and instead shut themselves in a tiny room of a comfort zone that eventually turns into a prison.
However, you cannot fully experience life, love, connection and belonging unless and until you choose to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is defined as the state of being exposed to being hurt.
And yes, it is true that by being vulnerable you are taking risks; you might experience hurt or rejection or uncertainty; you might love someone and they might not love you back; you might open up and expose yourself emotionally and they might still reject you. But you can never experience love unless you are willing to let down that wall and take the necessary step of opening your heart and being vulnerable to experiencing hurt or joy.
Many people fear vulnerability because they are afraid that they are going to lose something such as love, connection, recognition, approval, acceptance, inclusion or belonging. And yet, those things can only occur when you choose to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is also tied to resiliency. The more strength you believe you have to bounce back and beyond, the more willing you are to be vulnerable, to take risks. However, if you feel that you are not resilient, that you cannot bounce back from a hurt or rejection or disappointment, then there is less chance that you will dive into life and be vulnerable.
What does being vulnerable imply? What do you need to do be vulnerable?
1. Allow yourself to be seen; remove the mask; stop hiding; be deeply seen.
2. Participate fully; be courageous – act in spite of fear
3. Love with an open heart; love wholeheartedly; give of yourself even though you are fully aware that there are no guarantees that you will be loved back.
4. Admit and embrace the truth that who you are and what you do have a deep impact on others; you can lift, inspire and influence others
5. Be authentic – express your truth – be the first to say ‘I love you. I’m sorry. I was wrong. Forgive me. I admire you.’
6. Express compassion first to yourself and then to others; be kind, patient and forgiving towards yourself and others
7. Accept imperfection; you and I and everyone else are imperfect; we all make mistakes; forgive yourself for being human
8. Accept yourself; let go of the belief/image of who you think you should be (or whom society tells you that you should be) and embrace who you truly are (your qualities, characteristics, temperaments, expression, values, passion, desires and needs.)
9. Share yourself – experiences, viewpoint, needs with people whom you know can handle it, whom you trust and whom are also willing to share themselves with you
10. Stop seeking approval from others – stop oversharing on social media in the hope that people will like or validate you; stop purging; seek authentic connection.
“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability. Love is uncertain. It’s incredibly risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. Yes, it’s scary, and yes, we’re open to being hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved?”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Finally, remember what most people long for – to experience once more the innocence of childhood just like Little Red Riding Hood – the passion, curiosity, openness, excitement and sense of adventure, living from your heart and all of your senses; this is vulnerability.
If you would like to overcome a past hurt and tap into your resiliency to be vulnerable again, and to uncover your real worth, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.