I absolutely love the way you responded to Tom Justin’s comment. You are able to be challenging without trying to dominate or suppress, and you take on the typical anti-feminist devaluation of personal experience by having a frank discussion about what is anecdotal and what isn’t. And I love the question of “what is threatening you here”. I can see why he didn’t respond back.

I’m a self-identified feminist male and I’d love it if you looked at my blog (listed as my website).

Dear Tom,

Thanks for your open response.

You wrote: “Who is this “we” you’re talking about?”

The “we” is society. It does not refer to every individual and obviously does not refer to you personally as I do not know you. And if I were to read an article about “why we are greedy” I might accept that there is cultural greed based on the evidence, even if I do not view myself as being a greedy person. The two can be exclusive. In other words, there can be examples of individuals that are greedy and individuals that are not greedy. The same applies to the contention that we as a society are misogynostic.

George Sodini, who murdered three women and injured nine other women in a gym, before turning the gun on himself in 2009, wrote on his blog about his growing rage at women for rejecting him. He wrote about his hatred towards his mother and women. Read my insights here: https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/08/06/a-man-kills-3-women-in-a-gym-why/

Stories and anecdotal evidence can be cited as evidence to support a point when it is obvious that they form and represent a trend. I am not saying that George Sodini represents a trend but yes, he would be an example of individual misogyny not societal misogyny.

Nonetheless, you claim that I have not presented evidence – only stories.

Did you read the entire article? Did you read this statistic?

1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner.

Or do you believe that 1.3 million women assaulted is not high enough to count as evidence or do you simply view it as anecdotal evidence? Or maybe you don’t believe that violence against women is an example of misogyny?

You claim that I have only presented stories and anecdotes and yet, you talk about your experience at Playboy which is just an anecdote and then you share a story about your experiences with your client meetings. Is that evidence or just anecdotes and stories.

Yes I agree that women have made great progress as I explained and outlined with statistical evidence in my newsletter: Women are taking over:
https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/09/22/women-are-taking-over/

– More women are in the US workforce than men
– More women attend and graduate college than men (in the US, UK and Australia)
– 85% of purchases are made by women

However those statistics do not in any way support your belief or claim that misogyny does not exist. They are merely a reflection of the shift in the economy and a reduction in industrialization. And when you read that article, you might be confused by my approach.

You claim that there are not examples of cultural bias. How do you summarize the refusal by the Catholic Church to ordain women as priests? Is that anecdotal or cultural to you? Twenty-four percent of Americans are Catholic.

Also, as I wrote in my article, it was the Fathers of Christianity and the Western church who wrote against women: “the theologians Tertullian “father of the Western Church” (160-220 AD) and Augustine both castigated all women as evil temptresses, an eternal danger to mankind.” That is not a story nor is it a pocket of prejudice. It is rather, a very clear example of cultural bias – cultural misogyny. Maybe, you ignored it because you do not view religion as part of culture and society.

Further, are you aware of the misogyny that exists in many cultures and religions around the world or do you need exact statistics? Are you aware that female mutilation (circumcision) is still common in the continent of Africa? Does that count as misogyny to you? Do you know the origins and intentions of female circumcision?

You can read more about the history, origins and male motivations of female circumcision and infibulations in my article: “why women can’t enjoy sex” where you will learn how male-dominated societies controlled women:
https://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2007/06/28/why-women-cant-enjoy-sex/

In 2006, Billy Payne, new chair of Augusta National Golf Club, stated that he will uphold the all-male club’s practice of denying membership to women. He declined a request to meet with Martha Burk, the former chair of the National Council of Women’s Organizations (NCWO) who has led protests against the club’s discriminatory policies, stating that “I don’t see at this time that any dialogue would be meaningful or helpful.” And yes, I realize that it is a private club which, incidentally, used to also have a whites-only policy.

As recent as 2008, Citigroup Inc. paid $33 million to settle a lawsuit filed by three female brokers in Santa Rosa who charged its Smith Barney unit denied equal opportunities for women. There were numerous similar lawsuits and settlements by other companies on Wall Street. So despite your 1970s Playboy story, yes, misogyny clearly existed in the corporate world as recently as 2008. And on January 29, 2009, President Obama signed into law, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009, the first bill signed into law by the President paving the way for lawsuits to require that equal pay be given to women, by way of seeking back pay awards for the difference they were paid and what men were paid for the same work. So the progress you refer to in the past 25 years, obviously wasn’t reflected in the corporate world in terms of equal opportunities and equal pay for women. I think it is fair to say that the need for an Act to be written by congress refers to national bias, cultural bias and discrimination and not “pockets of cultural ignorance and prejudice” as you claim.

You wrote: “You’ve actually exposed your own gender bias against women with your remarks. Train our sons to respect women?”

Why is it wrong to teach sons to respect women? You believe that that suggestion is gender bias. No I disagree. Let me explain. Yes, I agree that we should “respect others regardless of race, gender, religion or beliefs.” But how can you truly respect and appreciate anyone unless you can identify and accept the differences and unique characteristics. Real appreciation only occurs when you can identify what it is that makes someone unique. We should be able to identify the differences in the genders and embrace those differences while still being able to identify our common humanity.

You worked for Playboy and I stand firm that pornography is an example of misogyny. It is designed for the pleasure of men; women serving men and being purely objectified in the process. Or do you not see that as misogyny? Do you believe that hip hop videos that portray women as sexual slaves to men are examples of misogyny and do you accept them as evidence of cultural bias?

You wrote: “Love and respect to women as equals? Of course, and without considering gender in the process. Try it.”

I never said not to respect women as equals. In fact, my article is written to encourage people to see women as equal; thus, my entire contention that we as a society are favoring men over women and that women believe that they must have the perfect young body to please men. But again, to say to view women as equals without considering gender in the process is akin to saying treat everyone as equals without appreciating their differences and unique characteristics. If we remove gender, what happens to your porn industry?

Finally, you openly challenged me and I would like to do the same. What is it in this article that angers you to attack me personally? Ask yourself, “What would happen, how would I respond if I were to accept or be convinced that misogyny does exist?”

I would think that a person who promotes equality would be more angered by the possibility that misogyny exists rather than being angered by an alleged lack of sufficient evidence of such a claim. Or does the message of the article hit too close to home and thus you attack with references to “people like you and the feminist movement.”

I promote balance and equality while still recognizing what it is that makes us all different and thus special.

Thank you for engaging the conversation.

All the best,
Patrick

You give anecdotes not evidence, not cultural bias, but stories. Is that the kind of research you did to get a Ph.D? Where did you go to school?

Never in our history have women made more progress and become more accepted culturally than in the past 25 years.

As with any bias or prejudice, you’ll find anecdotes, as you described or pockets of cultural ignorance and prejudice, but to make such a blanket statement places you in the ignorant category.

Even back in the ’70s, when I was an executive for the Playboy organization, the biggest commercial exploiter of women on the planet, with their consent, of course, women held several executive positions within the company. A fact overlooked by people like you and the feminist movement.

I now sit in client meetings all the time now with a mix of men and women and seldom notice any gender discrimination. To say that there still isn’t some of that, would be as silly as your assertions of “We hate women.”

Had you placed your headline in the form of a question, you might have had some legitimacy. Unfortunately, you didn’t.

You’ve actually exposed your own gender bias against women with your remarks. Train our sons to respect women? How about to respect others regardless of race, gender, religion or beliefs. That is unless they make some ridiculous assertions and have a comment box to respond.

Love and respect to women as equals? Of course, and without considering gender in the process. Try it. That’s the true recognition of equality.

Tom Justin