Find Love Fast
Gain more self-confidence, raise your self-esteem…find love now!
The following is the contents list from Patrick Wanis’ book, Find Love Fast! © WOW 2006.
A NATURAL HIGH
Can you remember a time when you were truly happy, when you felt high, excited and enthusiastic about life? Can you remember a time when you looked at the world with glowing eyes, with exhilaration and passion?
Most likely it was a time when you were in love.
While many things such as a dream car, house, job, clothing or toys can excite us for a while, nothing can make our heart and soul sing like love can.
It is love that brings us to life, arousing us and making us feel ecstatic. And when we feel we have lost that love or are without love, we feel despondent and nothing, not even those dream things can satisfy us. Losing love or being without love can also leave us feeling helpless and hopeless, thinking that we may never find love and joy again.
No matter where you are in your life right now, love is much closer than you think. Love is within your reach and you can find it again -fast.
In this book, I will help you to get clear on the love you are seeking and help you to remove the things that have been standing between you and love. I will show you how to find love and where to find it. I will outline the way for you to find love fast.
First, I will begin by sharing two secrets that will change your life forever!
Find Love Fast©
-By Patrick Wanis
WOW Media, 2005
Table of contents
A Natural High – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 7
The Secrets – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 9
The Blocks – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 18
Bye-Bye Guilt? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 28
Shine The Light? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 36
Victims – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – — – 47
Who Do You Love? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 59
Where Is My Love? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 63
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone – Now – – – – – – – 67
Open Up Your Heart – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 74
About The Author – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 76
One of my clients, Jill, came to me in desperation. After three years, Robert, her partner walked out on her. She was confused and deeply hurt. “I did nothing wrong. I loved him so much. I did everything he wanted. I gave everything to him. I cooked and cleaned for him. I know that no one will ever love Robert the way I did…”
Why would someone walk out on his partner if she loved him so much? Why would someone walk out if that person did everything he wanted?
Ironically, the mistake Jill made was that she did everything he wanted!
You might ask, “What is wrong with that?”
Robert walked out on Jill, because she…
Here then is Secret Number 1…
Have you ever met or know someone that is desperate and clingy? How do you feel around that person?…
We are sending out messages and signals all the time, even when we are not consciously aware of it…
What kind of message and signals are you sending out to the people around you?
We cannot make anyone love us and we can easily push someone away from us…
This point leads us to the second secret…
As a Human Behavior Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have found that one of the most powerful obstacles to finding love and seeing the beauty within us is our focus on our guilt and shame…
Guilt and shame are not mutually exclusive although I believe they are best explained as separate…
GUILT THROWERS AND CATCHERS
Probably every one of us has some guilt, some regret for something we did wrong at some time in our lives. Some of us though have deep guilt that controls our lives. If you suffer from guilt, there is a good chance that you also tend to use guilt on others…
THE FORMATIVE YEARS
Who we are today is the result of our programming – everything we have learned, experienced and concluded to be true about us and the world. The largest portion of our programming – our personality, character and beliefs are formed during childhood…
If our parents repeatedly told us how much they love us unconditionally, how wonderful, talented and special we are, then we will grow up believing those things….
If, on the other hand, your parents repeatedly told you that you are a loser, stupid, dumb and will amount to nothing, then…
ROOTS OF GUILT
Criticism, condemnation and judgment are the most destructive words that parents can use on their children.
I grew up in a strict religious family. We were always striving to be better, to be perfect…
In business, it might be a good motto to strive to be better but, for a child that translates into not being good enough, never being able to measure up.
…My mistakes and failings turned into guilt and shame.
THE PRICE OF GUILT
My guilt and shame resulted in unsatisfying relationships and a strong desire to hide and run away from relationships. The subconscious thought was…
Guilt and shame will translate into…
Until you can release the guilt and shame, you will not attract into your life the type of partner you ideally desire and you will not find love fast. So, how do we set ourselves free from guilt and shame?
As I explained earlier, guilt and shame stem from the judgments we make about ourselves.
There are four simple steps to releasing guilt and shame:
- Take responsibility
- Release the emotions
Stop trying to be perfect. Be willing to accept that you…
SHINE THE LIGHT
If you were raised on a diet of criticism, condemnation and judgment, then you most likely focus on everything that is wrong with you. And you most likely do the same with all the people in your life, and they probably do the same back to you…
…Why then do we allow ourselves to accept people’s many other falsities about who we are?
Another way to view this point is that everything people say to you is a gift. You have the right to accept or refuse the gift.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!
Too often, we automatically believe and accept what people say to us as if they know us and have a right to make judgments and conclusions. What we fail to realize is that…
THE BEAUTY IN YOU
Jalal ad-Din ar-Rumi was a 13th century Sufi mystic who composed thousands of passionate love poems, many while dancing in a circle to the beat of drums or the music of rushing water. Rumi wrote, “If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would realize how beautiful you are.”
A unique and powerful exercise that will leave you and the other person feeling special, renewed and touched at a deep level, and will strengthen and deepen your bond and connection…
YOU ARE SPECIAL
Have you ever stopped to answer the questions, “Who are you? What makes you special and unique?”
In our present overly materialistic society it is easy for us to identify our self-worth with our job or possessions… It is easy for us to think that everything outside of us, everything we own determines whether we are valuable and special and whether we have anything to offer a potential partner…
Either way, the things we identify with quickly control us…
Here is a two-part exercise that will help you to get clear about who you are and what makes you special.
Many of us seek out love and a partner via trial and error. We get into a relationship and then gradually and painfully find out what we don’t want, what we will and won’t accept. Instead of then focusing on what we do want, we spend so much time and energy telling everyone what went wrong…
The irony is that the longer we choose to play the victim, the more we experience hardships, disappointments and let downs.
The first thing we need to do is to get out of the victim mode.
Let me use an example. Sally was in an abusive relationship…
As Sally and I worked together to release the pain, suffering, hurt, guilt, blame and shame from the initial events, Sally felt free and alive again. I also helped Sally to realize that true love is not attention from people who feel sorry and pity you. True love begins when you love and care about yourself. No one can love you more than you love yourself. We teach others how to treat us by what we allow them to do and how we treat ourselves. The more you love yourself, the more you can love others and the more others will love you. When you feel great about who you are, when you have compassion for your mistakes and shortcomings, and when self-love inspires and drives your daily thoughts and actions, you become an irresistible magnet that attracts love and joy.
It can be difficult initially to see how playing the victim, struggler or survivor only worsens our life and attracts even more bad things and events into our life.
A good friend of mine was diagnosed at an early age with breast cancer…
It is easy to fall into the trap of playing the role of a victim, survivor or struggler to get attention, love, pity or sympathy. And it can be just as easy to get out of the role once you realize you are playing it.
Take a look at your life. It is a mirror for what you believe about yourself?…
Questions to ask yourself…
…For example, maybe you need to forgive those people or forgive yourself. Maybe you need to release guilt or blame. Maybe you need to…
WHO DO YOU LOVE?
Now that you are freeing and opening up yourself to allow love into your life, the next step is to get clear about what type of love and partner you want and what you won’t accept.
THE DEAL BREAKERS
Spend a moment reflecting on past relationships. Write out briefly what happened that broke each relationship….
YES, YES, YES!
The key to finding the love you want is to be clear about what you want and focus on what you want.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO FEEL IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?
It is easy to forget that the main reason we seek out a partner and love is because we want to feel a certain way.
WHERE IS MY LOVE?
Now that you are clear about what type of person you want, what you will and won’t accept, and how you want to feel in this relationship, it is easier to determine where you might find him or her.
Depending on your vision, your potential partner might be at the ….
Here is a sample list of some of the venues you might consider visiting based on the qualities you are seeking.
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE – NOW
You are working on releasing the obstacles to finding love, you know what you want and don’t want, and you have a good idea of where you might find him or her. There is now one final element required to Find Love Fast: Action!
…What prevents most of us from taking the steps to meet new people is fear – fear of intimacy and rejection.
ACT IN SPITE OF FEAR
There are five basic human emotions that drive our behavior: love, lust, fear, pleasure and hate. One of the most powerful motivators is fear – the fear of pain. But fear is…
The fear of rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as human beings. Studies reveal that the number one fear people have is public speaking. More people are scared of speaking publicly than dying. Why? They fear rejection, judgment and humiliation.
The fear of rejection is…
How to overcome rejection…
It is also vital to your self-confidence, self-esteem and emotional health to understand that…
I have many male clients who come to me confused and dejected, “I don’t get it. We had a great date. We were getting along so well, had such an amazing connection and now she won’t return my calls.” I answer them from my book, “What a Woman Wants.” …
OPEN UP YOUR HEART
You are wonderful, special and amazing. There is so much beauty and treasure within you. Shine the light on all that exists within you for others to see, feel and experience. Only when you can see and feel what you have to offer someone else will you allow someone else to see it.
Begin now to love and accept yourself. Forgive yourself and everyone else in your life so that you can set yourself free and open your heart to allow love into it. Let go of the many judgments and condemnations you have made about yourself and others. Let go of the judgments that others have made about you. Spend your time and energy focusing on what you want, how you want to feel and how you want to be treated.
Take responsibility for who you are and for everything that happens in your life. Do your best to make amends but do not blame and beat up yourself over the wrong things you have done. Remember that you are human and you and everyone else will make mistakes. Identify what you can change and learn from every experience.
Begin now to express yourself fully, freely and joyfully. Not everyone will like it and that is OK. The person who is able to like, love and accept you when you express yourself will be the one for you. Stop trying to please others and stop trying to continually gain their approval. Seek your own approval.
Be courageous. Step out of your comfort zone with excitement. Take action to meet people and remember, when you begin to shine with love, joy and enthusiasm you will automatically attract the love you have been seeking – and fast!
Read Patrick’ Wanis’ other book to help you find you find your soul mate.
Gain more self-confidence, raise your self-esteem… with Patrick’s Hypnosis audio program: “Feel Good About Yourself – And be more confident”
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.