Self-Centered vs Selfish, self-centric, narcissism, people-pleaser, no boundaries, self-esteem, self-love, self-care, using others, empathy, compassion

Get Over Yourself – You Are Allowed To Be Self-Centered

Everyone is self-centered. Even the people who give to charities or serve others or preach to ‘save’ others or pray for others or meditate for world healing are still being self-centered. How so?
milestones, letting go, breakups, obsessing, ruminating, acceptance, resignation, get over ex, getting over ex, betrayal,

How To Let Go Of The Past – 5 Milestones

If letting go of the past simply means returning to normal or baseline, then your focus becomes just holding onto what you have (avoiding loss) and never thriving or going beyond.
Psychological Capital, hope assessment, hope test, hope scale, herth hope index, hope adult scale, hopelessness, hope agency, planning, pathways, will power, perseverance, definition of hope

Hopelessness Is The Worst Human Condition - Here Is How To Build Hope

Hopelessness does not sustain life! So, what is hope to you? Is it a desire; wishful thinking; probability, possibility or just an emotion of expecting something good or better?
control, breakups, obsessed, spying on ex, google ex, spying social media, crying, fantasizing getting back, emotional pain ex

7 Things You Do That Give More Control To Your Ex

Here are the 7 most common self-sabotaging behaviors following a breakup and which I have identified through both work with clients and the responses of over 4,000 people who have taken my free Breakup Test.
abuse, power, gaslighting, gaslighter, submission, surrender, authoritarianism, lack of self-trust, shame, guilt, guru papers, abusive relationships,

How To Stop People From Controlling You - 5 Keys

The core strategy for anyone to control you is to make you the child by convincing you that you cannot trust yourself, that they know what is best for you, and, that they can fulfill your needs.
get over sadness, depression, anger, confusion, frustration after breakup or divorce, how to get over my ex, grieving a breakup; stages of breakup grief

How To Overcome Sadness/Depression Following A Breakup - 6 Keys

You will also experience sadness when there is a change in your life, particularly a dramatic change or end – again, even if you wanted or made that change yourself. You will also feel sad because your identity has been shattered due to the breakup, as well as the shattering or sudden end of routines, habits, and family and friend connections.
"Rethinking Positive Thinking" Gabrielle Oettingen; WOOP; mental contrasting; MCII, pessimism vs positivity; Oliver Burkeman, “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”; “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson; achieving goals

Dreaming Doesn’t Work – You’ve Got To Think Of The Negative!

“Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the future, the positive thinker ends up being less prepared, and more acutely distressed, when things eventually happen that he can’t persuade himself to believe are good.”
Carol Dweck, success, attitudes, perceptions, victims, learned helplessness

That’s Just The Way I Am – Fixed VS Growth Mindset

People with a fixed mindset tend to ignore useful negative feedback – ‘I am my mistakes, I am my failures, I am innately bad; they are attacking me personally.’
“Remember, people suffer only because they think things ought to be different from what they are.” - Paramahansa Yogananda, Left Brain Interpreter, anxiety, conspiracy theories, superstitions

Suffering Begins When You Think Things Should Be Different - The Way To Reduce Suffering

The thoughts that create suffering are the thoughts whereby you refuse to accept change, or you resist or struggle against people and things over which you have no control. You cannot change or control the people in your life, and nothing remains the same, nothing lasts forever: Impermanence is a fact of life.
UCLA study, Carleton University in Canada study on purpose and longevity

Purpose Helps You Live Longer And Healthier! It Even Boosts Your Immune System

One form of happiness leads to health via an anti-inflammatory and anti-viral response in the body, while the other leads to a decrease in the anti-viral response and an high increase in inflammation implicated in stress and a wide spectrum of diseases such as arthritis and heart disease.
values, identity, dreams, values, purpose, fears, habits, behaviors, subconscious beliefs

How To Become The Best Version Of Yourself

When you decide that it is your role to please everyone or to make everyone else around you happy, then you will never be able to be you, you will never be able to be authentic or true to yourself, and you will be confused about who you really are because you are constantly changing yourself to be what others expect of you, or, what you think they expect of or need from you.
0.1 Hz breathing, anxiety, insomnia, depressions, HRV

Reduce Your Stress and Sleep Better With Deep Breathing

How many times per minute do you breathe? Without being consciously aware, you are probably breathing 12 -18 times per minute, and that is very unhealthy, triggering more stress and anxiety, disrupting sleep, and damaging your body.
parentification, parental child,

When The Child Becomes The Parent – 5 Negative Effects of Parentification

What happens, though, when the roles are reversed, and the child is expected to give – to give in the form of taking care of, protecting or meeting the emotional needs of the parent or a sibling - even financially?
The seven emotions

Neutralize The 7 Emotions Holding You Hostage + Guided Meditation

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I was teaching workshops prior to Covid for Shell Oil execs and Orangetheory execs on Emotional Wellness, Authenticity, Vulnerability, Trust, Leadership, Self-Sabotage, Core Values. And then, in response to the pandemic, I created this special audiobook, “Neutralize The 7 Emotions That Are Holding You Hostage Right Now”
trauma, visceral fat, obesity, cortisol, adrenal fatigue,

The Link Between Stress From Defeat & Trauma And Obesity

Which traumas lead to Social Defeat Stress? Any trauma you experienced where you felt powerless, hopeless or helpless will lead to feeling defeated.  Experiencing abuse and/or being bullied are common example of social defeat stress. 
ACE, Adverse Childhood Experiences, Acute, Multiple, Complex Trauma

Trauma's Lifelong Impact On Health and How To Heal Trauma

Imagine a little girl who has extreme attacks of asthma every time her dad gets angry and punches the wall, or children who are diagnosed with ADHD and yet have a long history of childhood trauma. These are all actual cases.
third-person self-talk, self-coaching,

Coaching Yourself Through This Tough Time

When you coach yourself using third-person self-talk, you immediately lower resistance and you uncover things that you didn’t consciously know about yourself.
self-pity, pessimism, optimism, explanatory styles, attribution, existentialism,

Why Me? - How To End Self-Pity!

“Why Me?” That’s the question that plagues almost every victim of a bad experience – an illness, a loss, an accident, abuse, molestation, betrayal, a death of a loved one, and so forth.
Covid-19, isolation, alone, lockdown, quarantine, suicide,

Loneliness Is Deadlier Than Chain Smoking – Here Are 12 Ways To Overcome Loneliness

Communicate with your friends and express everything you are feeling; go deeper than the anger and frustration. If you want to “be real”, and to “keep it real”, then be open and vulnerable. You will learn that you are not alone in experiencing problems, and you can receive support and give support to your friends.
The Fertile Void, Gestalt, Frtiz Perls

Finding Yourself In The Fertile Void of Now

“The Fertile Void” is a space or phase when you can’t make sense of what is happening, you cannot attribute real meaning to it; you are unsure about who you are, where you are, where you’re heading and what life is about, and so it feels empty, completely empty.