The 5 Traits Of A Poor Leader And Parent

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the traits common to a leader and parent and reveal the 5 traits of a poor leader and parent.

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What Is A Leader And Why Compare Parenting With Leadership?

Most people think of a leader as an executive in a company or someone in a position of authority over a team or department. However, a parent is also a leader. For a leader is simply someone whose direction you would willingly follow.

But can you truly compare a work leader with a parent or family leader?

Yes, both an effective and exemplary leader and an effective and exemplary parent demonstrate the same set of skills!

How so? Read on.

Let’s start with the 5 traits to beware of: The 5 traits of a poor leader and parent.

1. A Poor Leader And Parent Models The Wrong Way

If you are a bad role model as a parent, your children will copy your bad example. Then, as they get older, they will resent you and swear to themselves to never be like you. If you are a company leader and you show an unhealthy example, then your team will not respect, trust or believe in you or your message. “Do as I say, not as I do” does not work at home with children, nor in the office. For people to follow you, they must believe in you as much as your message and claimed values. For children to learn and grow, and to realize their potential, they must believe in you. That belief begins with you and your behavior – your values and example. Are you honest, competent, inspiring and forward-looking? Have you set goals, expectations, and principles? Do you live by them yourself?

2. A Poor Leader And Parent Lacks A Vision

It is critical for people in a company to know where they are going: What is the vision for the future? What are the goals and why? Without a vision, there is no meaning and purpose. Without a vision, people lose inspiration and dedication. We all need goals! The same leadership principle applies to a family. A poor leader and parent fails to help each family member to create their own vision for their future as well as goals and a vision for the family overall.

At home and at work, every individual wants to know that their leader/parent actually cares about them as individuals, about their values, interests, hopes, and dreams.

3. A Poor Leader and Parent Keeps People Down & Stuck

A poor leader and parent discourages risk-taking and punishes mistakes. An effective and exemplary leader encourages others to try new things, to challenge the status quo and thus, to explore and grow. A strong leader implements and models the growth mindset. Accordingly, the parent and leader is open to learning and growing, freely admitting mistakes and remaining humble.

Everyone can become a powerful leader and parent; the key is not personality; it is a set of skills as described here in this article.

4. A Poor Leader and Parent Disables and Disempowers

An effective leader and parent instills confidence in his team and communicates that he believes in their individual and collective capabilities. A poor leader fails to involve everyone perhaps showing favoritism to some while excluding others. He might take charge of everything, rarely empowering others to act and make decisions. An exemplary leader is vulnerable and thus builds trust and respect. He also delegates, shares responsibility and therefore collaborates with others. Again, these principles apply at home as well. Do you empower and enable others to take action and to seek independence appropriately? You have the ability to build resilience in your team and family!

5. A Poor Leader and Parent Discourages, Criticizes Or Simply Ignores Others

One of the most common issues I see with clients is that they rarely received praise, encouragement and celebration of their existence or contribution to the family when they were children.

Why do we wait till someone is gone to celebrate their existence ?

The same principle applies in the workplace.

Team members lose motivation, passion and engagement, and they become resentful when their work, involvement and contribution go unnoticed.

Conversely, family and team members shrink and lose confidence and hope when they are only noticed for their mistakes or wrongdoing.

Each and every one of us wants to be seen, heard, understood and validated!

Remember, your team at work is your family, and your family at home is also a team. When you truly demonstrate that you care about each individual and when let them know that you have a unified vision, then they will follow you to help them to realize their full potential.

If you need help as a work leader or parent, or if you need to release a painful emotion or experience – get the help you want, need and deserve. Do it now gently, easily, and quickly with my SRTT process. I am also available for executive coaching. Book an SRTT session and be set free from the past.

You can add to the conversation below.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.

Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist