Did you know there are 3 types of validation?
The first builds confidence and security in you.
The second shapes you to be both critical and sensitive to criticism.
The third motivates you to either constantly seek attention or to hide & isolate yourself.
In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to like to reveal the 7 reasons you want them to change – you want someone to…
So yes, ghosting hurts because your identity is not formed in isolation, and you do care about what others say and think of you!
The theory that depression is caused by a ‘chemical imbalance’ or low serotonin was first proposed in the 1960s, but it was in the 1990s that the pharmaceutical industry began to push this theory to promote and market its new range of antidepressants, SSRIs – selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors.
You believe that everyone can do better and they should be doing better.
You were probably taught that belief as a child.
Your parents might have communicated that belief to you about you – you can do better. And therefore, you also probably believe at a subconscious level: ‘I’m not good enough.’
Look at your own challenges at handling your child’s emotions because this usually reflects your challenge to handle your own emotions. One client told me that he struggles when his 4-year-old throws a tantrum because he then feels anxious, tries to control the child, and then feels guilty for not being able to ‘control’ his child’s tantrum.
Most parents want their child to fit a preconceived mold and to be a certain way. “Why don’t you want to become a …? Why aren’t you like your sister/brother? Why don’t you do …? I never had those opportunities when I was a child.” Or perhaps, the parent simply communicates, ‘Why aren’t you the child I fantasized, the child I want you to be? Why can’t you compensate for what I didn’t get as a child?’
Transforming positively from hardships, suffering and traumatic events is not a given; and it takes a combination of factors to be realized. Do not diminish or minimize what you experienced nor the loss & pain. And if you experienced trauma in childhood, there is more chance that it weakened you rather than strengthened you.
The level and extent to which you have become dependent upon the relationship will determine your level of commitment and its hold over you!
For example, when a person cuts or burns themselves (or some other form of self-harm/self-injury), he/she is acting out as a way to cope with emotional pain, deep emotional distress, stress, trauma, intense anger, frustration, or rejection.