In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal what happens when you are honest with yourself.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalize advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
Do You Argue For Hours & Get Sucked Into The Drama?
Has this ever happened to you? You get into an argument with a friend or your partner, and the argument continues for hours. You try and try, and yet you just can’t seem to control it or stop it; you are overtaken by the emotions. Watch my video for the solution
Now, let’s talk about what happens when you are honest with yourself.
You have probably repeated this phrase to many of your friends – often as a joke: “You can’t handle the truth!”
And you probably know very well the movie, A Few Good Men, from where the quote originates.
Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) is interviewing Col. Nathan R. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) and pressuring him to reveal the truth about a killing by 2 marines on a naval base. Did Col. Jessup issue a Code Red which resulted in the killing? Eventually, with sufficient pressure by Kafee, Jack Nicholson as Jessup blurts out those famous words, “You can’t handle the truth!”
In this case Jack Nicholson’s character is making a point that sometimes it’s better not to know the nitty-gritty of the way things work as long as things are working out well for you.
Are you able to face the truth about your own situation, your own life and even the results in your life?
“Be honest with yourself. The world is not honest with you. When you are honest with yourself you find the road to inner peace”
– Paramahansa Yogananda
Many people run from the truth and choose not to be honest with themselves because they think there will be more comfort and less pain by hiding and living in lies – self-deception.
How do you deceive yourself?
For what must you be honest with yourself? For what must you take responsibility for yourself, your actions and your outcome?
“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”
– Sigmund Freud
For many years I held onto anger, resentment and bitterness towards an ex-girlfriend who had betrayed me and cheated on me. Of course, what she had done was wrong and yet I chose to lie to myself about the role I played in our relationship. My actions didn’t cause her betrayal, but my actions contributed to an unhappy relationship.
It took many years before I finally was willing to be honest with myself and accept the role I played in this relationship. The idea of admitting that I might have been controlling, insecure, needy or desperate in this relationship was excruciating to me. And yet, in that final moment, when I chose to admit to myself, to be completely open and honest with myself about my behavior, I was finally set free.
The truth does set you free and leads to inner peace because it instantly neutralizes resentment, bitterness, blame and victimhood.
And that is exactly what the truth did for me. It set me free from the emotions that were controlling me.
Choosing to refuse to face the truth or to be honest with oneself is like holding a dog by the tail. The longer you hold onto the dog by the tail the angrier it will get, and you know that when you finally let go of that tail, the dog will bite you out of anger.
Thus, the truth is not always immediately welcome, but it always has a positive impact. Even when we hear the truth that we didn’t want to hear, it enables and empowers us to make new choices. Only by accepting that I had been controlling, insecure and needy was I then able to make new choices.
In the moment that I chose to be honest with myself about my behavior I was able to stop blaming other people (in this case my ex-girlfriend.) Instead, I was able to accept responsibility for my own actions and thus I was set free from playing the victim who was controlled by someone else! The relief and sense of liberation was extraordinary. Further, by accepting myself and my mistakes, I was able to be more compassionate towards myself and in turn, forgive my ex-girlfriend as well. This is inner peace!
“Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything; you are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.”
– Clark Moustakas
What truth do you need to face and accept?
If you need personal help and guidance to face or uncover the truth or let go of the past, book a one-on-one session with me.
You can add to the conversation below.
If this newsletter was forwarded to you and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page at PatrickWanis.com.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.