In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal 14 powerful questions to ask yourself and your partner before committing to a relationship or getting married.
First a quick update:
Easing Holiday Stress – It should and can be the most fun time of the year. However, for many, The Holidays creates stress and triggers all sorts of emotions. Master the 9 ways to overcome Holiday stress and have fun: https://patrickwanis.com/blog/easing-holiday-stress-top-9-tips-part-1/
Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
Fix your relationship with yourself – Every relationship begins with you. The more you like, love and accept yourself, the more others will like, love and accept you. Watch the video and learn how to heal your relationship with yourself: https://youtu.be/nJMmhdwmRqM
Now, let’s talk about the 14 powerful questions to ask yourself and your partner before committing to a relationship or getting married.
A recent study confirmed what should be obvious but is often ignored – a key determinant of whether or not a relationship will last is when it is partner-focused i.e. (couples who value their partner above all else and who spend a varied amount of time together)
A second key is to know what you want!
You cannot be successful in life if you cannot first define what success is for you?
The same principle and question applies to all relationships – what do you want and how would you know if the relationship were to be fantastic? What would the definition of a fantastic relationship be for you?
In any and every relationship (romantic, social, business), both parties or partners must want the same things for it be successful.
You don’t have to want exactly the same things; you have to want the same things that really matter to each of you. Here are 14 questions for you to ask yourself and your partner before committing to a serious relationship or marriage:
- Self-Knowledge: Do I know who I am? What excites and motivates me? What turns me off off? What are my passion, purpose and meaning in life? What is my identity?
- Values: Am I clear about my values? Do my values align with my partner’s values?
- Passion: Am I truly attracted to my partner? Am I sexually excited by my partner or do I simply fulfill a perceived obligation?
- Intimacy: Am I completely open and honest with my partner? Am I emotionally naked with him/her? Do I trust my partner? Do I accept him/her and vice-versa?
- Commitment: Am I ready and willing to fully commit to this person? What do I fear about fully committing to him/her? What is my biggest doubt? What is my biggest fear?
- Control: Do I try to control my partner? Does he/she control me or attempt to control me? Am I hoping, planning or trying to change my partner? Do I feel free or trapped in this relationship?
- Symbiosis: Do we mutually benefit each other? Do we support each other? Do we encourage each other? Am I a better person in this relationship? Does the relationship encourage me to be more of me, to express myself and to realize my potential? Do we have fun and laugh together? Am I dependent on my partner? Is he/she dependent on me? Does the level of dependence feel comfortable for both of us?
- Family: Do I want children, and, how many? Does my partner want children, and how many and when?
- Finances: What are my debts? What are my plans to have zero debt and when? How does my debt affect my partner and relationship? Is my partner fully aware of all my finances – debt, income, credit score, etc.? In the US, a credit score is like a passport – with poor credit, you cannot buy a car or get a loan, and it can affect your job prospects and the ability to rent or buy a home. What are my financial expectations from this relationship – type of home, travel, purchases, etc.?
- Personalities and temperament: Is my personality and temperament complimentary to my partner’s personality and temperament? Do we compete for attention, praise, power, leadership or significance? Who talks the most and is the other person happy to listen? Is the silence comfortable?
- Roles: Am I the parent to my partner? Do I try to rescue him/her? Do I feel like a child in this relationship? Do I feel naturally confident and empowered or do I feel helpless, like a victim?
- Conflict resolution: How do I respond when I am angry, sad or depressed? How do my partner and I respond to conflict? Do we share the same approach to conflict and arguments and the way we resolve them?
- Priorities: What is my priority – my partner, career, freedom, children from another relationship?
- Intuition: What does my intuition (my gut feeling) tell me about this relationship, my partner and me?
The most effective way to utilize the above 14 questions is to first answer them on your own; second, request your partner answer them on his/her own, and; third, share and openly discuss your answers. Next, consider professional counseling if you have identified areas that clash and still want to build a relationship together.
If you need assistance to identify what it is that you want or to remove beliefs, emotions and other obstacles, consider a private, one-on-one session with me. Click here to book your session. https://www.patrick-wanis.com/phone-consultations/
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.