In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the importance of committing to a partner and being surrounded by people who can handle you by possessing 7 specific traits.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalize advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
The Psychology of Hate
Read my insights into the psychology of hate following The Unite the Right rally (also known as the Charlottesville rally) August 11-12, 2017. I share counter-intuitive and controversial insights about hate.
The 1 Cause Of Every Breakup
What caused your last breakup? There is one cause of every relationship breakup. And it doesn’t matter whether you mention parenting, lifestyles, fitness, personality types, age difference, life stages, or something else that caused your breakup – it is still a clash of values. Watch the video.
Now, let’s talk about the importance of committing to a partner and being surrounded by people who can handle you by possessing 7 specific traits.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
The above quote has been misattributed to Marilyn Monroe.
Nonetheless, Marilyn Monroe was a person who suffered. Although, she was one of the most popular sex symbols of the 1950s, and to this day remains a cultural icon, Marilyn Monroe actually spent most of her childhood in foster homes and an orphanage. She suffered from substance abuse, depression, and anxiety. She married and divorced 3 times before finally taking her own life at age 36 on August 5, 1962.
Despite all of her fame and popularity, Marilyn Monroe felt alone.
Although Marilyn Monroe’s life might appear to be an extreme one to use as an example, very few people actually have ‘ordinary’ lives without trials, tribulations or psychological pain and suffering.
Each one of us has challenges – insecurities, self-doubt, or even moments where psychological pain or issues take over us and we lose control or simply act stupidly or out of character.
And when that happens, who is there to accept you? Who is there to support you?
I recall a very close friend once saying to me that for him, his love for and commitment to the woman whom he married was deep and clear because she was the only woman that was ever able to handle his ‘intensity’ – and he’s not an artist or athlete – he’s an IT engineer.
Each one of us has our own issues and our own quirks.
Here is a simple checklist for you to review and confirm if your partner and/or friends possess and demonstrate with you these 7 key traits and qualities:
1. Acceptance & Trust
You don’t feel that you have to prove anything to them. You feel safe to trust and thus, you can and do reveal all of yourself – all of your emotions, aspirations, mistakes and failures – knowing full well that you will be accepted.
2. Support & Loyalty
You know that they are loyal and they have your back – you know that they will defend you, help and assist you in times of need. You know you can rely on them when things go wrong to help and support you or even fix the damage or try to heal the hurt.
You know that if you make a mistake or screw up or you are simply having a bad day, they will show you understanding rather than attacking or criticizing you.
4. Patience and tolerance
You know that they will listen to you and give you a second chance when you make a mistake or let them down.
5. Guidance – setting limits
You know that you are accepted, supported and will be shown patience and understanding. However, you also are fully aware that they are confident, honest and forthcoming – unafraid to tell it like it is – and thus, let you know when you are overstepping boundaries and limits. They respect themselves and show you the same level of respect. And because they respect themselves they don’t allow you to treat them badly.
You know that you are human and so do they. Accordingly, when you do make mistakes and your actions hurt or impact them negatively, they are willing to forgive you.
You know that you can will be treated compassionately – when you are hurting or in pain, they will feel your pain and do their best to ease that pain or suffering.
Finally, remember that in the same way that you want your partner or friends to possess and demonstrate these 7 traits to you, it is critical that you do the same for them.
You can add to the conversation below.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.