How To Overcome Loneliness – In 4 Steps

How To Overcome Loneliness – In 4 Steps

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal 4 steps that will help you to overcome loneliness.

First a quick update:

The Breakup Test
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How To Overcome Anxiety
Every one of us is facing great challenges during this crisis. Anxiety is one of them! Here are simple but effective strategies to overcome anxiety now. Watch my video to learn how to neutralize anxiety by dealing with the thoughts and your physiology

Now, let’s talk about 4 steps that will help you to overcome loneliness.

Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected, separate, isolated, or even feeling like you’re an outsider.

Loneliness is different to feeling alone.

You could be physically alone in a room and not feel lonely, or you could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.

During this time of the Coronavirus pandemic with social isolation, social distancing, quarantining, forced lock down, and stay-at-home orders, it is normal and natural that you might be experiencing both – feeling lonely and alone because of a lack of companionship.

Here are 4 simple steps to help you to overcome the feeling of loneliness.

1. Significance
How significant do you feel? Do you feel and believe that you matter? Do you believe that you are making a positive difference in other people’s lives? Do you feel you make a positive contribution?

Action Step: Call your friends and people in your social circle; listen deeply, offer encouragement, comfort and compassion. Share positive stories and find ways to help. I saw a post from someone on Facebook offering to give food or to cook a meal for anyone in need. He even went further offering to keep it a secret so that the other person receiving might not feel embarrassed or ashamed.

Recently, I drove 50 miles to go grocery shopping for a friend who is 89, struggles to walk and can’t drive. Her joy brought me joy. Knowing that I made a difference gave my life greater significance and meaning for when you help others, you also feel better and you feel significant because you feel needed.

2. Belonging
Do you feel that you belong to something – a group, an organization or a tribe or family of your own?

Action Step: If you don’t have a family or a group to call your own, join one on social media or form your own group. Choose one theme that aligns with your values or goals and look for a form that new group. Decide to communicate on a regular basis. You could bond with others by doing an exercise, workout or class on Zoom.

3. Being understood
Do you feel that other people know you and understand you? Do they know your character, personality, temperament, and core values? Can they list the things you like and the things that you don’t like?

Action Step: Communicate with your friends, family and social circle. Ask them questions and listen. The more you seek to understand others, the more they will desire to understand you.

4. Emotional Intimacy
Are you emotionally intimate with yourself as well as other people?

Emotional intimacy can be understood as ‘into me you see’; I allow you to see into me because I choose to be open; I choose to be authentic; I choose to be vulnerable; I choose to engage in self-disclosure.

When you choose to be open, authentic and vulnerable – to allow someone to see deep into you – to know your thoughts, dreams, desires, mistakes and successes, fears and doubts, then you will build trust with him/her. The more open you are, the more others will feel they can trust you and open up to you.

Action Step: Make a conscious choice to share with a friend (or colleague) a story about yourself (a peak experience – perhaps a challenging time in your life; reveal what you actually experienced, and how you overcame it. Be wiling to admit your imperfections. Perhaps, you can share what you are experiencing right now during this pandemic – relate what you feel – perhaps sadness, loss, confusion, anxiety or uncertainty. When you open and reveal that you are human, people want to get closer to you.

If you were already experiencing loneliness prior to this pandemic, then it is likely that this is the way you grew up – perhaps feeling like you never belonged, like an outsider; you felt separate or disconnected; perhaps you felt that no one truly understood you, no one knew you, or you felt that you could never trust anyone. If so, then book a one-on-one session with me.

You can add to the conversation below.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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