Madonna doesn’t like the NY Times article that profiled her, “Madonna at 60.” She doesn’t like it because it refers to her age and she views it as ageism, saying that she is more than “disappointed in the article…It makes me feel raped. And yes I’m allowed to use that analogy having been raped at the age of 19.”
And this is not the first time that Madonna has used the word rape to describe a feeling. In 2014, and again in the NY Times article, Madonna said that the leaking of her music album in 2014 was equivalent to ‘rape’.
So according to Madonna, rape is a feeling – a feeling in response to being slighted, disappointed or wronged.
Rape is not a feeling! It is as I will elaborate below – an evil, violent act that involves sexual violence.
A person whose home has been burglarized, ransacked or vandalized, will say, ‘I feel violated.’ In this context, it makes sense to use the word violated because your home is where you eat, bathe and sleep. It is your private place where you feel safe and protected from the world; safely protected by the physical walls and doors of the house. And when someone enters your house against your will and robs you or vandalizes your home, then you no longer feel physically safe.
Is Madonna saying that the NY Times article which discusses her age of 60 years, creates the same feeling within her as being raped?
Madonna claims that when she was 19 a knife was placed at her throat and she had to perform oral sex. If this is true, then what did she feel when she was being raped?
Did she feel her life was threatened? Did she feel terrified? Did she feel terrified that she might be murdered in that moment? Did she feel dirty or disgusting? Did she feel powerless or helpless? Did she feel weak? Did she feel ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated? Did she feel such deep shame that she couldn’t talk about it for to anyone else for years?
Are these really the same feelings that Madonna now experiences when she reads an article that mentions her being 60 years of age?
And if Madonna claims that she was raped at 19, why then at age 34, did she produce a book “Sex” with fantasy photos of her being raped as a schoolgirl by two men, and a second time being raped by two women?
Rape is not just a feeling of being “disappointed”, slighted or wronged.
Rape is an evil and violent sexual act which damages a person, usually for life! Rape creates various physical and behavioral symptoms including nightmares, vomiting, social isolation and traumatic flashbacks.
“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
–Definition of rape by US Dept of Justice
I don’t believe Madonna has been damaged in any way by an article that tells you she’s 60 years of age. Her ego is bruised and yet she’s damaged the understanding & meaning of rape and diminished its real impact on real survivors and victims of rape. And she’s just told the world that being raped really isn’t that serious other than a bruised ego and insecurity about one’s age.
I experienced sexual abuse on various occasions, and attempted rape at age 19, and no perceived wrongdoing against me has ever come close where I could possibly say, “It makes me feel raped.”
Finally, being offended doesn’t make you right Madonna, and being offended by an article definitely doesn’t make you a victim of rape!
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.