A new book, “the truth about cheating” by Gary Neuman says the top reason men cheat is because they feel underappreciated by their woman. “This is an outrage” says therapist Patrick Wanis PhD, “Again men are trying to let themselves off the hook by laying the blame on women, trying to make women feel guilty because they aren’t doing enough for their man.” Does Patrick Wanis have a point?
Marriage counselor and author, Neuman says women are to blame when men cheat. He says the no. 1 reason men cheat is “feeling underappreciated – a lack of thoughtful gestures” by the woman. He says cheaters are not the bad, rotten guys; “they can also be nice guys that get lost and do the wrong thing.” But Human Behavior Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist Patrick Wanis PhD, says “Again here is another man who removes the responsibility of infidelity from the man who cheated and places it right in the lap of the woman by claiming that it is women’s responsibility to build up the man and make him feel valued because Neuman claims that is what men are searching for and expecting from women.”
Maybe Peter Cook former husband of supermodel Christie Brinkley read the same book. In an interview set to air Friday on ABC’s “20/20,” Cook blames Brinkley for his affair: “I wanted a little acknowledgement, a little attention, a little thank-you every now and then for my efforts, for the amount of time I took to care for her and my family, for the wealth I was building.” Wanis says “Cook’s excuse is more than demeaning to women; it’s shameful when you consider that Cook had an affair with an eighteen year-old girl.”
Wanis says “No matter how someone leaves you feeling or ‘makes’ you feel, the way you respond to that feeling is your choice. The husband could communicate with his wife instead of sleeping with another woman. In his book, Gary Neuman even cites a case where the husband had regular sex and the emotional connection with his wife but still had an affair. The bottom line is we all have choices in every moment and the real man has power over himself – he exerts self-control, discipline and knows how to say no or walk away from the temptation. The real man doesn’t expect a woman or anyone else to validate him; he validates himself. When Neuman tells women that they need to do more and that they are to blame, he robs women of their power, lowers their self-esteem and creates guilt for the woman but he lets men off the hook because they can now blame her. We are never responsible for other people’s actions or choices.”
“Ultimately, cheating is often about power, opportunity and self-gratification. Neuman’s argument that women aren’t doing enough for their husbands to value them is similar to saying that it’s justified that a worker steal from the company because he is not getting paid enough. “
More talking points available upon request.
Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author and an Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships. He is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner and Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on major news outlets -FOX News, MSNBC and the Montel Williams Show, and is the weekly featured analyst on celebrity behavior for The New York Observer. Wanis is the first person ever to do Clinical Hypnotherapy on national television. Wanis coaches and works with various celebrities. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over four and a half million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.