In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to introduce the first of a series on lifestyle success principles for New Year’s resolutions and goals, starting this week with “balance.”
First a quick update:
“The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2008”
Read the article I wrote for date.com and matchmaker.com on my blog. I also reveal that “no amount of fame, fortune or power will compensate for a lack of self-love, low self-esteem or unresolved issues. More money and more power only exaggerate and exacerbate our deeper subconscious problems.”
“E! TV 10 Most Inappropriate Makeout Moments of Celebrities”
E! TV recently interviewed me as a feature body language expert to offer insights into still photos of celebrity couples to reveal the hidden subconscious message and communication of what is really going on in the relationship. The show airs on E! TV
Now, let’s talk about the New Year and introduce the first of a series on lifestyle success principles for New Year’s resolutions and goals, starting this week with “balance”.
I am sure that many people will be glad to be leaving behind 2008, and looking forward to the New Year, hoping to make a fresh start, wishing and planning for better things to come. Accordingly, many people will be acting out the tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions.
New Year’s Resolutions date back as far as 4,000 years, when the ancient Babylonians resolved to try to make amends for their wrongdoings of the past year, often also choosing to return to their rightful owners any farming equipment they borrowed during the year.
In the 21st century, New Year’s Resolutions are little more than wishful thinking – preferences. Rarely are they commitments or serious goals. In fact, research reveals that less than twenty percent of the people that make resolutions are successful in attaining success in even one of their resolutions!
Briefly, I believe that the key reason that people rarely follow through with their New Year’s Resolutions is that they simply do not have a clear grasp of goal setting and attaining. Sometimes, we set goals that are either too vague or too high and thus we give up quickly. Chunking is critical. Chunking refers to breaking your goal down into small steps, small pieces and as you achieve each one, you reward yourself and use it to encourage you to move onto the next step.
So now, let’s talk about what might be empowering resolutions or goals for the New Year. Admittedly, it might seem presumptuous on my part to suggest any resolution for you, so I would like to explain that what I am suggesting in this series of newsletters are simply lifestyle goals and approaches – success principles.
I firmly believe that maybe the single greatest success principle – and one that can lead to inner peace and happiness – is balance. The dictionary defines balance as a state of equilibrium; mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc. However, here I am not defining balance as inner peace; I am saying that balance in your life will lead to inner peace.
Every state of pain, unhappiness, grief or illness is simply the result of an imbalance. Even cancer is the result of an imbalance – abnormal and uncontrolled cell division within the body. Divorce is the result of an imbalance – one person’s values, desires and behaviors not balancing with the other person’s values, desires and behaviors.
The simplest and most effective way to explain this principle is to say that too much of anything is bad for you and will create unhappiness in your life. For example, we all know that we need to drink water to live, but did you know that drinking too much water can kill you? In 2003 at Plattsburgh State University of New York, 18-year-old Walter Dean Jennings died from water intoxication after participating in a hazing ritual involving heavy water consumption.
In the physical world, it is easy to understand that too much of anything can kill you – too much water, too much oxygen, too much food, etc. In the mental and emotional world, the same principle applies. When we place all of our focus on any one area, something else in our life will suffer. The state of extreme stress – known as exhaustion occurs when we experience consistent and ongoing pressure – mental, physical or emotional – without rest. Anyone who has ever sat behind a computer for long periods of times or studied intensely for exams understands the pain of mental headaches of migraines.
In other words, we experience life in four realms and we need to balance all of those:
Education, learning, stimulation and growth
Peace of mind, love, relationship with self and others
Live your purpose & mission, serve others, connection with God or Higher Source
Health, financial goals, material needs
Accordingly, I humbly suggest and encourage you to take a look at your life. Is there balance? Do you work long hours and many days but never take time to rest, relax your body or connect with your family and loved ones?
Are you creating your retirement but not enjoying what you have right now or are you so caught up in the present moment, in instant gratification, that people describe you as irresponsible with no long term goals or ambition?
Are you so caught up in meditation that you no longer connect with people around you or the real world? Are you so driven to attain security, stability and material success for yourself that you have forgotten to give back to others, to serve and help other people?
Are you so obsessed with looking good physically that you cannot appreciate your inner beauty and qualities as well as that of others?
Taking the time to sit down and carefully answer questions such as these helps you to review your life and see where there is imbalance, thus enabling you to set up some simple goals – short and long term – that will create balance, harmony and inner peace.
Finally, I would like to thank and acknowledge the thousands of people who respond to these newsletters and to the many thousands who read them around the globe: Aussie Pete in Singapore, Eddie and family in Sydney, Jessica in Mexico, Jessica in El Salvador, Lisa in China, Regina in California, Gillian in Canada, Thomas in South Africa, Miriam in Italy and you, wherever you might be right now.
Happy 2009 and may your heart’s desires flourish before your very eyes and may you be blessed beyond your wildest dreams
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.