Have you ever received a gift on Valentine’s Day that was insulting? What about if on Valentine’s Day, we could take back some of the gifts we have given throughout the year?
“Everything we do and say to our partner is a gift – sometimes it’s a valuable gift and sometimes it’s a horrible or damaging gift” says Los Angeles based Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert Patrick Wanis PhD. We asked Dr. Wanis “What gift can a woman get for the man who has everything?” Dr. Wanis responded by identifying the 5 gifts that women should take back on Valentine’s Day:
5. Under appreciating:
One of the biggest complaints from men is that their partner does not appreciate him and rarely says thank you.
Tip: Look for the things you can be grateful about in your partner and express it. Men need to feel needed
Real gift: Say thank you.
A man forgets to buy milk or wine or cheese when coming home and the wife labels him “a jerk” or irresponsible.
Tip: Talk about the action but don’t label him otherwise he will rebel and become resentful and will start to act like the label you gave him.
Real gift: Respect. Remember: the action doesn’t make the person.
3. Constantly criticizing:
Criticizing anyone on a constant basis only leads to resentment, low self-esteem, bitterness and a very unsatisfying relationship for both partners.
Tip: determine what needs addressing and talk about the action, offer a solution and look for the things he does that you can praise
Real gift: Be kind. Criticism leads to resentment.
2. Trying to change him: .
You are not his mother. Stop trying to mother the man by nurturing him to what you want him to be; stop looking at a man and saying “Wow, he would look so good in those pants; I’ll buy them for him and make him wear them.”
Tip: Accept that men don’t like to change, don’t want to change, don’t believe the need to change and they only change when they really have to do so.
Real gift: Acceptance. Men don’t want to change.
1. Falling in love with his potential:
Women fall in love with a man’s potential, hoping and expecting that he will blossom into something extraordinary but this only sets up the woman for major disappointment and sends the message to the man that he is not good enough, thus destroying the love and romance in the relationship.
Tip: Love the man for what he is now and not what you think he might one day be, for he may choose to never be that.
Real gift: Love unconditionally. Very few people live up to their full potential.
“The best gift to give your partner, whether you are a man or a woman, is to express gratitude and show appreciation to them and describe the beauty you see in them. And one last tip for men for Valentine’s Day – do the chores around the house and watch how she responds ” concludes Dr. Wanis.
Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.