Research reveals that there are over 50 different flirting nonverbal behaviors and signals. Here are some of those including a few verbal flirting behaviors:
- Batting eyelashes – also known as the eyebrow flash; this is an exaggerated raising of the eyebrows of both eyes, followed by a rapid lowering
- Blowing kisses
- Casual touching (especially the other person’s arm and leaning in while doing it)
- Exposed neck (turning the head so that the side of the neck is bared); touching and running your hand along your bared neck
- Eye contact – prolonged; glancing and gazing (short and sustained)
- The copulatory gaze – which says “I want you sexually”; the gaze triggers a primitive part of the human brain which demands one of two response approach or retreat
- Foot play – touching the other person’s foot with yours in open view or under the table
- Pushing your breasts out;
- Imitating the other person’s behavior (changing postures as they change theirs which also sends a signal of play and challenge)
- Laughing and nodding
- Lip licking – subtle or exaggerated – this is an overt sexual gesture
- Physical closeness – you deliberately move your body closer and sit right next to the other person or right opposite and close-up (less than 3 feet); you lean in
- Playing with your hair – primping and preening
- Swaying of the hips
- Stroking in a vertical direction – hair, stemware, legs, arms and so forth
- The coy smile (you tilt your head downward, partially turn away with your eyes and then cover your mouth – the covering of the mouth in this process is a non-verbal gesture which says “I have something naughty to say” or “I am not sure what to say to your naughtiness”)
- Verbal flattery – you comment about the other person’s physical or sexual attractiveness and appeal
- Witty banter (not necessarily sexual but possibly challenging); story-telling which stimulates the erotic imagination
- Any other nonverbal gesture which says “Yes! Yes!” or “Come and get me!”
There is one major misconception sold by even some of the experts – that a woman can only successfully flirt when she is being submissive. False. Flirting behavior by a woman does not always have to be a signal of submissiveness; both genders engage in the flirting process with dominant and submissive behaviors. And when a woman walks by with her head high, breasts forward and swaying her hips, she is engaging in dominant behavior which is highly appealing and sexually magnetic.
Flirting behaviors that do not work or turn off people are those that make
one appear to be immature, childish, uneducated or crass. In other words, do not overdo or overly exaggerate the flirting signals in such a way that they are clumsy, rehearsed or awkward – otherwise you will appear to be an immature teenager.
Finally, look inwards and beware of your intentions; are you flirting or cock teasing? The latter is the action of arousing and baiting someone with the promise of being rewarded but then stating clearly that it will not happen
The cock teaser is driven by ego, to satisfy her own ego, play the power struggle or get back at men by pretending to take control, by scorning, embarrassing or even humiliating the other person.
Patrick Wanis PhD
Human Behavior & Relationship Expert
Author of “Get the Man YOU Want!”, “Find Love Fast” and “Soul Mates”
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.