In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the link between boredom, lack of meaning and the killing of an Australian student, Christopher Lane, in the US by three teenagers.
First a quick update:
“Oprah and her blown-up claim about racism”
Oprah Winfrey says she experienced racism while shopping in Switzerland for a $38.000.00 bag. Now, Oprah says the incident got blown up. Meanwhile, the store in Switzerland says Oprah is wrong and the shop assistant did everything right and that celebrities and the rich in Europe like to be treated like ordinary citizens. But is it about racism or simply entitlement? Watch as hosts of Emotional Mojo TV show get fired up and argue with me here.
“Recovering from years of sexual abuse”
Donna Mae DePola author of “Twelve Tins” was sexually abused since age 4 and by age 8 she started doing drugs. It was also revealed that her father had been filming the rapes. How does a woman recover from this experience? Emotional Mojo TV show hosts delve into her insights and how she is now helping other people and addicts. Watch the video here.
Now, let’s talk about the link between boredom, lack of meaning and the murder of an Australian student in the US by three teenagers.
Christopher Lane, a 23-year-old Australian, was living his dream of studying in the U.S. on a baseball scholarship in Oklahoma. One morning he was out running when a car passed by and two of its occupants, teenagers, shot him to death.
James Edwards Jr., 15, and Chancey Luna, 16, were charged as adults with felony murder in the first degree, and Michael Jones, 17, faces two charges – use of a vehicle in the discharge of a weapon and accessory after the fact to murder in the first degree. (Watch more here).
The murder has been labeled as “senseless” by bloggers and the former Australian deputy Prime Minister Tim Fischer told CNN’s Piers Morgan that Australians should boycott the US:
“People thinking of going to the USA for business or tourists trips should think carefully about it given the statistical fact you are 15 times more likely to be shot dead in the USA than in Australia per capita per million people.”
The teenagers described their motive as boredom, saying that they drove around looking for somebody to kill.
The media has been labeling it as a “thrill kill” and explained it again as caused by boredom.
But the above are inaccurate descriptions, labels or motives; at the very least they are incomplete descriptions and motives for this murder of a complete stranger.
Boredom is defined as “an emotional state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, and not interested in his/her surroundings.” People often respond to boredom with simple and sometimes meaningless activities such as watching TV, lazing on the couch or snacking on food.
However, these teenagers set out to respond to what they labeled as boredom, with the desire to kill somebody.
The desire and willingness to kill, to take a life, reflects something much deeper than simply boredom and thrill-seeking.
It reflects a lack of value attached to life; a lack of any significance or meaning for a human life. And, in turn, when these 3 boys say they wanted to kill somebody, they are also demonstrating via their actions the message that if human life isn’t significant or precious, then their own lives are also insignificant and have no value.
In other words, these boys (15, 16 and 17) are telling the world that their lives mean nothing to them.
The same principle applies to bullies.
Daniel Puder is an American professional wrestler and retired professional mixed martial artist. In 2012 he founded My Life My Power World, an anti-bullying and youth development program. He works with schools and even law enforcement agencies to reduce bullying by addressing the issue itself – the cause of bullying.
Daniel Puder, who was also bullied as a child, told me on TV (on Emotional Mojo) that his approach which, is actually succeeding, is to find purpose and meaning for life for each individual boy. Daniel helps these children to discover their passion; to find out what they really want out of life and to inspire them to pursue it. Watch the video of the interview here.
A lack of purpose and meaning in life also lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, confusion, despondency, depression and even suicide.
Significance, goals and a vision drive us; they give our life impetus, richness and depth.
Every day we are challenged by life – by the stressors, the things that go wrong and the disappointments. And the only way we can ably and successfully respond to and overcome those challenges is to focus on the meaning we give to life – our legacy and those people that depend on us.
Parents have the opportunity to help their children to find meaning and purpose before they lose themselves in and to drugs, illegal activity or bullying. Don’t wait till they take out their anger, angst and frustration on other people. Sit down and communicate with your children; help them uncover their talents and passion; help them create goals and challenges; help them give their life significance.
Finally, and paradoxically, Christopher Lane had meaning and purpose; he came to the US to become educated in an American college and to become a better athlete and baseball player. But his murderers, 3 teen boys had no meaning or purpose in their lives and they took the life of someone whom did – even though they never knew him.
Look in your heart: what drives you to wake up every day? What gives your life meaning and significance?
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.