Deal Breakers – Insults, Lack of Appreciation & Being Heard

Deal Breakers – Insults, Lack of Appreciation & Being Heard

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the findings of a survey that shows that people will quit their job if they are insulted, not appreciated and not heard.

First a quick update:

The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalized advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.

Your Subconscious Beliefs About Worthiness & Relationships – Law Of Deservedness
Your life and relationships mirror your subconscious beliefs. What do you believe you are worth? Are you worthy of healthy relationships, of being heard, respected and appreciated? Do you believe you are bad – do you suffer from guilt or shame? Watch my video

Now, let’s talk about the findings of a survey that reveals that people will quit their job if they are insulted, not appreciated and not heard.

What does it take for you to quit your job?
What does it take for you to quit your relationship?

The answer to both of those questions maybe the same thing.

In a survey of 1,002 full-time employees, 58.9 percent of respondents said being insulted by their employers was the biggest deal breaker, triggering an immediate job search. Second on the list, 42.2 percent cited a lack of appreciation for their contributions; 39.4 percent cited failing to listen to their concerns, and 29.6 percent cited denying them a promotion or raise request as the top reasons/motivations to look for work elsewhere.

These top three cited reasons fall into one category: significance.

Significance is one of our top human emotional needs. Significance is directly connected to worthiness.

If someone insults you, they are showing a lack of respect, and demonstrating to you that you are insignificant. If someone fails to express their appreciation for your contribution or qualities, then they are also demonstrating that you are insignificant and taking you for granted.

If someone chooses to not listen to your concerns, then they are alienating you and telling you that your thoughts and feelings and perspective are not important and therefore you are insignificant.

In the survey, respondents cited examples of what triggers the feeling of being insulted as: “Not treating everyone at every level the same”; “Not respecting my time as much as they respect theirs”; “Not giving me the benefit of the doubt that I’m an adult who is serious about my job and/or knows how to do my job”, and; “Management who doesn’t put themselves in the shoes of their employees.”

These comments and examples by respondents reflect what is often seen in relationships and what often breaks up relationships.

If you’re an employer and you don’t treat everyone at the same level or if you are in a relationship and you don’t treat your partner at the same level as you then you are again demonstrating that he or she is insignificant – beneath or below you – of little worth.

If you are an employee and you don’t put yourself in the shoes of your employees, then you are simply stating that that person is not worthy or deserving of your empathy and compassion. Again, the same applies in personal relationships: do you treat your partner as being significant; do you offer and express empathy and compassion to your partner?

Companies with the potential for greatness ask their employees these 3 questions and receive an unequivocal ‘Yes’: 

1. Are you treated with dignity and respect everyday by everyone you encounter?
2. Are you given the things you need (tools, equipment, training, encouragement) so that you can make a contribution that gives meaning to your life?
3.  Do you get recognized for what you do?
– Paul O’Neill, former CEO of Alcoa

Another lesson from the survey is that significance also involves inclusion, belonging and meaningful relationships, and is more important than benefits:
“Combined, the benefits of teamwork made employees we surveyed more than twice as likely to be loyal to their companies.”

In the survey employees who describe themselves as being loyal to the company stated that quality of the work environment is much more important than benefits. They listed as the top six qualities: sense of teamwork, sense of purpose meaningful relationships with coworkers, opportunity for professional growth, nice location/commute, and opportunity for personal growth.

Eight out of the eleven qualities had a statistically significant positive correlation to company loyalty, whereas the same was true for only two out of the 20 benefits.

Accordingly, if you want to build strong relationships and develop loyalty with your employees, your partner or your friend, then demonstrate that they are significant and worthy by being respectful, showing appreciation (via recognition, acknowledgment & gratitude), and by listening and being empathetic & compassionate.

If you need help to develop your skills in relationships and learn how to express more appreciation, recognition or gratitude, book a one-on-one session with me.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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