demonstrating care; how to show you really care

Do You Really Care? How To Demonstrate Care

demonstrating care; how to show you really care

Do You Really Care?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the ways that you can demonstrate care to all the people in your life – at work and at home.

First a quick update:

The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalized advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.

Are You A Victim of The 3 Thieves of Happiness?

Here are 3 bad habits that rob you of happiness; they all start with the letter C – and we all engage in them. Watch my video

Now, let’s talk about the ways that you can demonstrate care to all the people in your life – at work and at home.

If I were to ask you, ‘Do you really care about the important people in your life?’, you would most likely respond with, “Of course, I do!”

And if I were to ask them, ‘Do you feel cared for?’, what would you predict their answer to be?

It is easy to confuse the personal feeling of caring about someone with the action of caring about someone i.e. thinking, saying or feeling that you care does not equal demonstrating or communicating care in a way that the other person acknowledges as care.

I define care as the action of demonstrating concern, empathy, compassion, significance, and providing for the needs of the other person.

Care can only be achieved and realized when you are willing to demonstrate it in the language/form that the other person can recognize and feel. Accordingly, to truly care for someone infers that you know and understand the other person as well as their needs.
Do you know what your partner or coworkers need to feel loved or significant, and do you clearly know what are their specific needs?

How does your partner express and experience love & significance: verbal affirmation, touch (affection), undivided attention, acts of service, gifts (small or large), and food (cooking together, eating together, serving each other)?

Simply put, some people feel loved, cared for and significant when they are held, others when they receive praise, and others when they receive gifts or when they have lots of quality time (undivided attention.)

Thus, if you care for someone by giving them gifts but gifts hold little meaning for them and they value verbal praise and affirmation, then they won’t feel your care or concern. This principle applies to your personal friends and family as well as your coworkers and business associates: what do they need to feel significant and loved?

An acronym that I created for CARE is Commitment, Asking, Responsibility, Empathy.

Commitment refers to the dedication you choose to make to meet and provide for the needs of the person.

Asking refers to asking and inquiring what the other person needs and in what form or manner they need it.

Responsibility refers to the role that you take in this relationship and fulfilling those obligations (i.e. a mother, father, boss, employee, romantic partner, friend)

Empathy refers to understanding and feeling what the other person is feeling and experiencing. And if you choose to express deeper care, you can express compassion – feel the other person’s pain and take action to help relieve that pain.

Caring Action Keywords
An acronym cannot be all encompassing in its explanation or understanding of a word; the act of caring involves various other actions!

In a corporate workshop I presented on ‘Building Care,’ the group and I came up with numerous actions that reflect care:

Vulnerability – willing to be vulnerable to connect with others as well as demonstrate empathy and compassion
Listening – choosing to listen attentively, sincerely and actively
Vocal tone – choosing to express sincerity, warmth and significance by the tone of your voice
Attentiveness – to devote time and attention in order to give significance, value and respect to the other person
Respect – be aware and thoughtful of the other person’s needs, feelings, wishes and values
Inclusion – to offer acceptance, and give significance, value and a sense of belonging by including the other person
Support & encourage – to uplift, aid and instill a belief in the other person’s value and abilities
Celebrate – give value and significance by celebrating the other person and their successes
Generosity – give of yourself and your resources
Protect – be considerate and keep safe from harm the person and the things they value
Trust – instill a sense of safety in the other person allowing them to be authentic and vulnerable with you; if you choose to be vulnerable, reliable, honest, and dependable for them, it helps to instill their trust in you

You have the power, ability and gift to help people to feel loved, special, included, significant, and cared for. Care is more than a word or an individual feeling; it is a series of ongoing actions that stem first from sincere desire and intention, and second, from strategy. Remember, people care much more about how much you care than how much you know!

If you need help to express more care to yourself as well as to others, and thus change your limiting or painful subconscious beliefs, book a one-on-one session with me.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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