Forgive the Duggars? Not yet

 

Forgive the Duggars? Not yet

Forgive the Duggars? Not yet

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, the parents of Josh Duggar, who molested four of his sisters, one as young as five, spoke to FOX News’ Megyn Kelly, and that interview reveals that they are in denial of what truly happened, its severity and the painful consequences.

In 2002, Jim Bob said that incest should be a capital crime punishable by death. However, both he and his wife simply believe that what Josh did to his sisters and another girl was simply “bad choices…inexcusable but was not unforgivable.”

Can we forgive the parents?

As I will reveal, Jim Bob and Michelle:

1. Failed to protect their children
2. Did not adequately report the multiple molestations to authorities
3. Deny that what Josh did was actual sexual molestation
4. Reveal empathy only for Josh and themselves and not for the victims
5. Refuse to believe that what they themselves did was wrong
6. Play the victims themselves
7. Refuse to ask for forgiveness or repent for their hypocrisy of judgment

1. Failed to protect the children
Josh Duggar confessed to his parents on 3 separate occasions that he molested his sisters and yet they did not prevent it from happening again. They said they put ‘safeguards in place’ but they did not; he molested his sisters a total of 7 times – when he was 14 and again when he was 15.

2. Did not adequately report it to authorities
Jim Bob and Michelle believed they could handle it in-house and that did not work obviously. They sent Josh to a friend who was a mentor to children and he simply put Josh to work doing physical labor. The Duggars committed a felony by waiting 16 months before contacting authorities about the molestations but the statute of limitations had expired. Neither Josh nor his victims received professional counseling during that time and his behavior was continuing and worsening.

3. Deny that what Josh did was actual sexual molestation
“This was not rape” says the father, Jim Bob. He claims that Josh only touched them over the clothes and under the clothes a few times and “he was just curious about girls.”
“It was like a few seconds and then he came to us and was crying and told us what happened.”

However, Josh Duggar molested his 5-year-old sister!

When a 14/15 year old boy is sexually touching a 5-year-old girl and on multiple occasions, it is not curiosity about the female body; it is a sexual attraction to young girls. Pedophiles are over the age of 16 and are classically attracted only to prepubescent children, usually under age 11. Josh was 15 and his youngest victim was 5 and Jill and Jessa were 11 and 10 respectively.

4. Reveal empathy only for Josh and themselves and not for the victims
“The ray of hope was that Josh had come and told us and his heart was still soft…we felt like our son’s heart had gone astray.”
“I think as parents we felt, we’re failures…we were devastated.”

Michelle and Jim Bob spoke at length about the compassion and empathy they felt for Josh but failed to mention the victims – his sisters and their pain. They even denied that the sisters suffered: “…none of them were aware of Josh’s wrongdoings…they weren’t probably even aware that it was improper touch.”  If that is true, then why is Jill Dillard crying and in pain during her interview with FOX News about it being public  “We’re victims. They can’t do this to us.”

5. Refuse to believe that what they themselves did was wrong
“Looking back, we did the best we could under the circumstances.”

6. Play the victims themselves
“This is public shame that our son did this 12/13 years ago.”
Instead of accepting responsibility for the wrong actions, the Duggars tried to play victim:

“It has been an unprecedented attack on our family. And this information was released illegally. And so I’m wondering why all this press is not going after the system for releasing these juvenile records. That is a huge story.”

Jim Bob also said the family is considering suing over the release of the records.

7. Refuse to ask for forgiveness or repent their hypocrisy of judgment
Megyn Kelly asked if they felt that there was a greater backlash because the issue is Jim Bob and Michelle’s Christian beliefs. However, this is not about Christianity – it is about sexual molestation as determined by law. Although Megyn asked them about claims of hypocrisy, they simply deflected by saying “every one of us has done things wrong…there is an agenda and there are people that are purposing to try to bring things out and twisting them to hurt and slander.”

Forgiveness not yet
For the public to forgive (give understanding for what happened) there must also be some form of repentance and admission of wrongdoing. Jim Bob and Michelle did not ask for forgiveness from anyone, they downplayed their own failings and hypocrisy, stating that they did not need to tell everyone about the molestations by Josh. They also never expressed deep compassion for the victims, speaking only about Josh and themselves as being victims and they never stated what they learned from this experience about how to protect children or what they would do differently next time.

Their PR expert, Chad Gallagher, who also advises Mike Huckabee coached Jim Bob and Michelle. Did he coach them to play as victims and spin the molestation as ‘improper touching’? I don’t know but someone failed to teach Jim Bob and Michelle how grave sexual molestation is, how damaging it is to the victims, and what is truly required for the public to forgive them!

Other Duggar related articles:

Was Josh Duggar molested?

Beware of Projecting

Should we forgive Josh Duggar? 

Forgive the Duggars? Not yet? 

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    Cynthia says:

    Thanks for this insightful article. I was struck by how detached from the molestation the girls seemed (during the interview) and their efforts to minimize their brother’s sexual deviance. The older girl got emotional talking about their family secret being made public, not about being molested – something both girls deny even remembering. I thought the whole thing was very odd. As far as counseling, anyone familiar with the Duggars extreme fundamental religious beliefs are well aware – the Duggers do not believe in psychotherapy, all is to be resolved through religion and prayer. So these girls and their parents were putting up some smoke and mirrors here, repeatedly using the word “legitimate” to describe the counseling, knowing full well to most people religious counseling alone is not legitimate and not enough for Josh’s sickness. I was amazed when the father said that many families deal with this issue…no, I do not believe healthy families deal with incest and molestation – it is far from normal for a older brother to molest his little sister. Frankly, this cult family terrifies me.

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