In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the greatest gift you can give on Thanksgiving and The Holidays.
First a quick update:
Top 9 tips to prevent Holiday Stress – Listen to the interview I gave to Sally Jessy Raphael about top nine tips, techniques and strategies to prevent arguments, fights and stress around the Holidays.
Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
Now, let’s talk about the greatest gift you can give on Thanksgiving and The Holidays.
You’ve probably heard the teaching “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” It implies that there is great joy in giving. And it is true that we experience such elation when we give a gift, when we witness and can feel the pleasure that our gift brings to the other person.
The bliss we feel is directly attributable to the realization that we made a positive difference, that we were able to bring joy to someone else.
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carl W. Buehner (from “Richard Evans’ Quote Book”, 1971)
Think about the people presently in your life, and those no longer in your life.
Which people stand out?
Is there a person, whom when you think about him or her, you frown, get a knot in your stomach or you feel ill or disgusted?
Is there a person, whom when you think about him or her, you smile, get a warm feeling in your stomach or you feel elated or significant?
It is extraordinary the images and associations we create with every person in our life; we naturally attach and associate a specific emotion (inspirational or agitative emotion) to everyone in our life.
The emotion we attach to each person is determined by the way we feel around him/her.
Another common teaching is “No one can make you feel anything.”
That is not a truth; it is a guideline to encourage us to be aware that we can choose the way we respond to other people – their words and actions. Were it to be true, then we would never need to have relationships and it would not matter with whom we have a relationship since the premise is we can be happy and feel joy regardless of everyone or anyone else.
However, the more potent truth is that people can trigger certain emotions in us.
Certain people can bring out the best or worst in us; they can inspire us or they can agitate us, pushing us to feel small or insignificant, or lifting us to great heights, empowering us.
We are not inanimate objects; we are influenced and affected by other people.
Our best approach is to associate with people who positively influence and inspire us.
Accordingly, the converse applies: if people can affect or infect us, if people can inspire or bring us down, then we, too, can do the same to others.
We have the power to help people to feel really small or meaningless, and we have the power to help people feel really special and significant.
Every day, in every way that we choose to interact with people, we are choosing to give a gift. We are gift-giving each and every day.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
What gifts do you choose to give to friends and family this Thanksgiving?
What kind words do you choose to give? Which deeds or actions do you choose to take?
Consider the vast range of gifts that you can give that will be remembered for a long time by the recipient:
Thoughtfulness, consideration, kindness, patience, forgiveness, joy, laughter, humor, empathy, compassion, gratitude, thankfulness, support, encouragement, praise, compliments, warmth, affection, hugs, time, companionship, respect, understanding, openness, approval, adoration, significance, honesty, admiration, nurturing, concern, friendship, interest, excitement, enthusiasm, recognition, and so forth.
Imagine how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of any of these gifts.
“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.” ― William Arthur Ward
In closing, I would like to share this story and excerpt from “The Star Thrower” (1969) by the American anthropologist, educator, philosopher, and natural science writer, Loren Eiseley:
“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,
“It made a difference for that one.”
You hold extraordinary power to give a gift that can make people feel really special for Thanksgiving and The Holidays! And use these tips if you want to avoid arguments and pain for Thanksgiving and the Holidays.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.