In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the link between setting goals and elevating your level of hope.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalize advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
Does Guilt Control You?
It is a common response to feel guilty or bad when you do something wrong. What matters the most is the way you respond to your guilt. Do you choose to condemn or beat up yourself, making yourself only feel worse? Watch my video
Now, let’s talk about the link between setting goals and elevating your level of hope.
How hopeful are you? Did you know that hope is directly connected to setting and pursuing meaningful goals?
Hope is “the feeling that something desired can be had or will happen.”
Contrast Hope with hopeless or hopelessness. When a person feels hopeless, they give up, withdraw, set no goals or become cynical or apathetic. Hopelessness is usually accompanied by feelings of powerlessness – ‘a feeling/belief that things will not change, cannot change and I have no power to change the outcome.’
Hope is a positive emotional state and it can be developed.
Are you hopeful? Do you have positive goals that create expectancy of positive and desired outcomes and do you persevere to ensure their realization? The Spanish word for hope is esperanza which comes from the verb “esperar” which means to wait. Thus, esperanza literally means waiting – waiting for and expecting good things to occur. To engage hope, you must believe that the goal is possible and that you can do it (this is also known as ‘agency’ – control over yourself and your goal.)
There are 4 simple yet key steps to developing hope and thus realizing your goals.
1. What do you want?
You can’t hit a target if you don’t have one.
Step 1 is to clearly identify and specify your goal. Write out your goal: be specific; make it tangible and measurable; set a deadline for your goal.
In a recent workshop I led, a participant referred to a goal-setting formula known as SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic/Relevant, Timely.) I quickly pointed out what I see as a huge downfall or danger of this formula. Who decides or determines whether or not your goal is attainable and/or realistic? Is it the naysayers who surround you? Is it people who don’t believe in possibilities and conquering limitations?
Believe in its possibility – and yourself!
You must believe that your goal is attainable – possible!
We have extraordinary advances in technology (video chats, cellphone cameras, tablets, etc.) because individuals refused to listen to words such as ‘that can’t be done…that’s not realistic…that’s not relevant.’ Prior to April 3rd 1973, very few people would have said that a mobile phone is ‘relevant, realistic or attainable.’ Today, most people can’t imagine being without a cellphone.
Sylvester Stallone wrote the script to “Rocky”, and when he set out to sell and make the movie, he set a condition that he would play Rocky! It was not ‘realistic’ or perhaps ‘attainable’ because he was an unknown actor and had never sold a movie script. He believed in himself and his capabilities – and he succeeded – he also held onto 10% of the original movie.
2. How will you get there?
You need a plan.
Step 2 is to create a plan of how you are going to achieve your goal. Plan the pathway and list all of the resources needed to realize your goal. During this step, you will also identify the biggest obstacle.
3. What’s stopping you? Overcome the biggest obstacle
You must get over that wall.
Step 3 is to identify the biggest obstacle (from Step 2) and plan immediately the path and action steps to overcome it. If you run from the biggest obstacle, you will most likely give up on your goal when later on you are suddenly faced with a wall or impasse. It is also critical to actually visualize overcoming the obstacle. When you can see yourself conquering that wall/block, you will be more motivated to persevere towards your goal and you will believe that it is possible to overcome the wall.
4. Why is this significant to you?
Identify your deepest driver/motivation.
Step 4 is to identify and list the reasons you want this goal (the benefits, rewards and motivations.) You must know why you want this goal otherwise you will give up when the going gets tough or you won’t enjoy it when you get it.
Beware of pursuing a goal for the wrong reasons, otherwise you will also sabotage your success. Identify the deepest motivation for this goal: is the ‘Why’ driven by authenticity or dysfunction? Is it in alignment with your values or are you driven to prove something to someone, get their approval or rebel against someone?
Regularly read the benefits and rewards to maintain your motivation. Take action steps on a daily basis to realize your goal.
When you set and pursue meaningful goals, your level of hope rises, and it enhances your relationship with yourself and your world!
If you need personal help and guidance to set and achieve goals or overcome the past, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.