In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to about loving and respecting yourself.
First a quick update:
“Getting over it”
I have recorded a special audio program on how to get over it – breakups, betrayals and rejection with fresh new insights and revelations not yet included in my products. You can listen to the program at patrickwanis.com/secretsgetoverit It will be up only until Monday September 1, and after that it will become part of the package on my website. So listen to it now while it is no charge.
Now let’s talk about loving and respecting yourself and the way that it determines how others will treat you.
People often ask me “How does someone become an expert in human behavior?” I respond by saying that it begins with a personal interest and observation of people’s behavior before taking up formal studies. In other words, my curious nature and desire to understand people’s motivations have led me to watch and analyze people, their patterns and motivations ever since I was a kid.
I attended an elite all-boys high school in Australia with the highest pass rate in the state. I say, “elite” because you couldn’t buy your way into the school, you had to pass specific tests. Thus, these students were supposed to be the smartest kids in the state and yet, I recall one day wondering to myself “Why do these smart guys choose to vandalize their school, their own home?” I then noticed that the vandalism was specific to certain areas. When a toilet or bathroom was broken, run down or damaged, they students would be quick to further damage and vandalize that place. In other words, when they saw that someone else didn’t care about the place – the toilet, a desk or a room, they would respond accordingly. They, too, wouldn’t care about it, and would further destroy it.
Just this morning, I was reading that there is a vast problem around the US: there is a large glut of homes being foreclosed that are now being vandalized. In fact, it is a common trait to see that as soon as a home has a sign posted reading “Condemned”, others will also condemn it by smashing windows, drawing graffiti and throwing trash everywhere. The condemned sign which also instantly drastically devalues the house is almost inviting people to further devalue and destroy the house.
The point here is that we tend to respond according to the value assigned to the object. For example, how much value do we assign to a homeless person versus a successful or famous person? Of course, they are all human beings and deserve the same level of love and respect but we don’t treat them that way, and we are not attracted to them equally either.
So what is the link between condemned homes, homeless people and loving and respecting yourself?
We innately treat and value other people the way they treat and value themselves. Oftentimes this happens at a subconscious level because we are always sending out hidden or subconscious messages. Think of the person that always has accidents, the woman who always finds the abusive men, the guy that always ends up in businesses that fail or the person that always gets dumped on by friends. Their world becomes a reflection of their subconscious beliefs about their self-worth, the way they treat themselves and the way they allow others to treat them. I recall working once with a magician and illusionist who would always get so close to a really big contract or show but it would always fall apart at the last minute. He chose to blame others for his plight, refusing to look inward and eventually his business went under.
The point here is to ask, how do you treat yourself, what kind of house are you?
Have you condemned yourself? If so, others will do the same.
How much do you value yourself? Others will only value you to the same level.
How do you treat yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
In my book, “Get what you want”, I explain that life is lived in four realms:
Education, learning, stimulation and growth
Peace of mind, love, relationship with self and others
Live your purpose & mission, serve others, connection with God or Higher Source
Health, financial goals, material needs
To love, value, and respect yourself requires doing this in all four realms of life.
Do you eat healthy or do you eat junk food and skip meals because you are too caught up with work?Do you stop, relish and celebrate your food, or do you act as if you are filling up a gas tank during a car race?Do you exercise your body regularly or do you ignore it until you become ill?
Do you feed your mind with positive uplifting thoughts and information that will help you to achieve your goals or do you thrive on watching trash or reading the gloom and doom of news?Do give your mind time to rest?
Do you practice forgiveness for self and others or do you get caught up in constant judgment and condemnation?Do you allow others to love and give to you or do you hide, isolate yourself and push others away?
And finally, do you make time to help others, to be of service to others, to contribute to other people?
I use a simple analogy in my book, “Get what you want”.
“If you had a million-dollar racehorse, would you feed it junk food, lots of alcohol and let it stay out all night? Would you allow anyone to ride it or would you carefully choose who could ride it? Would you allow people to come into its stable and throw trash everywhere? Obviously, not, so why do you let people treat you like trash? Are you not worth more than a million dollars?”
Begin today to take deliberate, purposeful action towards showing yourself and the world how much you truly are worth and how much you value yourself. Set your standards and the world will respond accordingly. You have the power of choice.
Check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.