Stop Apologizing For Anti-Gay Remarks

Stop Apologizing For Anti-Gay Remarks

Stop Apologizing For Anti-Gay Remarks

“Making people apologize for anti-gay remarks doesn’t change the way they really feel and can create more harm than good” says Los Angeles based Therapist and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.

“Racism, bigotry, bias and prejudice cannot change by a forced apology” says Dr. Wanis. “Forcing people such as Tracy Morgan, Chris Brown, Cee Lo or others to be fake and give fraudulent apologies to save their career and popularity doesn’t change their beliefs and only encourages people to lie about their real feelings” explains Wanis. “Real change can only occur when we ask people who make offensive remarks to explain the truth behind their feelings, to explain their motivations and hatred so that those beliefs can be addressed.”

“Parents make the same mistake and teach their kids to lie about their real feelings when they say things such as ‘Johnny, now apologize to your sister.’ Johnny does, but he is not really sorry! They’re just words he uses. He is angry and resentful that he has to apologize because he doesn’t understand why and he doesn’t feel it. And now he’s taught to lie and to give fake apologies in order to be liked and accepted. The same applies to adults and to public figures: Real change comes from new understanding and new perspectives – not by being forced or intimidated into saying something someone doesn’t truly mean, feel or believe” says Wanis.

“And real apologies come from the heart and not from the desire to gain other people’s approval.”

“Forced political correctness, counterfeit language and bogus apologies only lead to more hatred and violence. When we suppress and repress our hatred and bigotry without exploring its roots, we simply create more resentment, anger, bitterness, hatred and contempt toward the very thing or people we hated in the first place. Hatred and bigotry of any kind, such as anti-Semitism cannot be eradicated by political correctness, it can only be corrected by discussion and not by silence or more lies with forced artificial or convenient apologies” says Dr. Wanis.

“Would you want your partner to say ‘I am sorry and I love you’ if he or she does not mean either one?” asks Dr. Wanis.

Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis Ph.D., is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior & Relationships and creator of SRTT Therapy with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell, TruTV’s In Session, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

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3 replies
  1. Avatar
    Patrick Wanis says:

    Dear Leisle,
    Interestingly, a non-celebrity, a teenager has shown the example of speaking her truth and refusing to give as you put it “forced apologies”; Sam Brownback is refusing to apologize even if it would be politically or socially expedient; from CNN:

    “A high school senior, who faces a Monday morning deadline to apologize to Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback for a disparaging tweet, has said she will not write the apology letter.

    “I don’t think I should write the letter, and I don’t think it would be the best move for me,” Emma Sullivan, 18, said late Sunday night. “At this time, I do not think an apology would be a sincere thing for me to do.”

    https://www.cnn.com/2011/11/28/us/kansas-high-schooler-tweet/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

  2. Avatar
    Leisle says:

    Finally someone who gets it! Now if only the rest of society would figure it out. Forced apologies and political correctness has made us way too sensitive.

    But in the case of celebrities, those with broken egos love forcing them to apologize because it means they can exert some kind of power over someone to make themselves feel better.

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