In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss stress and ego, and reveal how they can kill you.
First a quick update:
“Success quitting smoking & losing weight with hypnosis”
Read the success story of a woman aged 50 who used my hypnosis audios and stopped smoking in less than 2 weeks, lost 14 pounds and raised her self-esteem feeling in control of body and life.
“Resources for conquering stress”
Here is a list of all of the articles I have written offering tips, techniques, insights and strategies for ways to overcome stress.
Now, lets’ talk about stress and ego, and how they can kill you.
This week, John Cafferty from CNN posed a question online: Why is America becoming nastier? Cafferty was referring to polls that show 85% of Americans think politics has become increasingly uncivil; 86% say they have been treated uncivilly recently – most commonly while driving or shopping and 60% say they themselves have been rude to someone else.
While bloggers gave many reasons for the apparent nastiness, a theme appeared referring to anger, stress and frustration over hardships and the current state of the US – socially, economically and politically.
The American Medical Association cites stress as a factor in more than 75% of sickness today and the World Health Organization claims stress is America’s number one health problem. Stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, and other illnesses. Dr. Paul Rosch, Medical Scientist and Stress Expert says “Stress is taking a terrible toll on the nation’s health and economy. It is a heavy contributor to heart disease, cancer, respiratory distress, lupus and many other life threatening illnesses.”
Stress contributes to the development of alcoholism, obesity, suicide, drug addiction, cigarette addiction, and other harmful and self-destructive behaviors. One common symptom of stress is anti-social behavior – the nastiness, rudeness and lack of civility we see so often.
In the US, the CDC reveals that men die six years earlier than women and are less likely than women to be insured; men are 15 times more likely than women to go to prison, more likely to be obese, alcoholic and unemployed. In the UK, teenage boys are more likely to take drugs, drink, commit crime and exhibit antisocial behavior.
But the US is not alone facing a challenge with increasing and rampant stress levels. A study released this week reveals that blood pressure and stress rates are rising among a greater number of Canadians.
The report found 17% of respondents aged 12 and over say they have been diagnosed with high blood pressure — a rate that has been steadily increasing over the last decade.
“For the first time since these data have been collected by the survey, men and women reported the same rate of hypertension …Prior to 2010, women were more likely than men to report that they had been diagnosed with high blood pressure.”
You can learn more about the symptoms of stress in my article “You’re not crazy” where I clearly list some of the physical, mental, emotional and behavioral symptoms of stresS.
You can also take the stress quiz/test to determine if you have a problem and to help you to identify the symptoms of stress, here.
The causes of stress are many and varied – from the extreme uncertainty about the economy, loss of jobs and political instability around the world to the fears regarding health and even the natural disasters (flooding and tornadoes) that have devastated parts of the US. Accordingly, there are some things over which we have control and others we do not.
The way we contribute and exacerbate our stress is the way we choose to respond to it. I would like to share a true story as a way to help others to prevent suffering, illness and even death.
Adam is a married father of four children and a successful businessman who like most others has faced financial setbacks as a result of the economy. Adam is also a loner who says he lost his “only support system” when his mother died a few years ago and felt disconnected in what he labeled “a loveless and sexless marriage.” Adam also believed that his success, identity and self-worth are embedded in his success in business.
The stress for Adam increased as he worked harder to support and provide for his family and to create a way to send his kids to college when they grow up. But the reality was Adam was progressively emotionally overwhelmed by all of life’s challenges. He recognized that he needed to do something to improve his marriage or to find another solution for the emotional and mental health of him and his wife but he chose to do nothing. The result was Adam felt more alone and more isolated – working long hours and spending little time with his children and family.
His wife offered to reduce their overheads and to move into a smaller house or apartment as a way to ease the stress and burdens but Adam refused to “go backwards.”
But the downfall for most men is not about the ego to amass more stuff; it is about the ego that fools us into thinking we are invincible, we can push forward using will power & action, and that we must do it all. Please also read my newsletter “You can’t have it all”.
Adam admitted that at times it felt like it was too much and he needed something “to take off the edge” of the stress, and he would turn to prescription help but also began to abuse it whenever the pressure became too much for him.
It is so easy to trick ourselves into thinking we will get by and be okay in spite of the constant pressure and strain that we have created. But we cannot be fully prepared for the unforeseen; Adam lost a friend who died from a drug overdose.
Adam was now completely overwhelmed but again refused to reach out and ask for help and support, all the while believing that he must be strong for everyone.
The next part of this story remains a mystery.
Less than a week after his friend’s death, Adam was found unconscious in a car park; he had been there for almost 24 hours, unconscious and fell into a coma.
The doctors cannot explain what caused the coma and resulting brain damage, other than to say the brain damage is due to a lack of oxygen to the brain but they also say that there were not enough drugs in his system to have caused the lack of oxygen. It may have been the result of stress which can cause a stroke but the doctors remain baffled.
Today, it has been ten days since Adam fell into a coma. The doctors say he has extensive brain damage and there has been little improvement.
Please take a look at your life and determine what stresses there are, what is truly important to you and what you can do to take charge of your life, health and safety. Beware of the ego: ask and receive help and support. While it might be expected that we want it all, we need to focus on being happy rather than being right about the way things should be. And when stress increases, we face only one choice, we stop now or something eventually stops us – maybe permanently.
Read more about what you can do to overcome stress here.
And you can download as a gift some of my audio programs designed to reduce stress, here.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.