The greatest gift of all

The Greatest Gift Of All

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to briefly talk about the greatest gift you can give today and every day.

First a quick update:

“E! TV 10 Most Inappropriate Makeout Moments of Celebrities”
E! TV recently interviewed me as a feature body language expert to offer insights into still photos of celebrity couples to reveal the hidden subconscious message and communication of what is really going on in the relationship. The show airs on E! TV.

Now, let’s talk about the giving of gifts.

This week and next, many people and families will be getting together to celebrate the Holidays. It won’t necessarily be a happy time for everyone based on the various challenges that we all are facing in these difficult times but, within every problem and challenge is the opportunity to benefit and gain something; within every pain or crisis, there can be a gift.

It is greed that has brought us to where we are – be it corporate greed, political greed, societal greed or individual greed and yes, we are all paying for it now, one way or another -since we are all affected. This is evident even in the example of many charities around the country that have collapsed as a result of the 50 billion dollar fraud committed by Bernard Madoff. Yes, one man’s actions have impacted not just his investors but even those people depending on charity and help such as The Gift of Life Foundation (a bone marrow registry) which is now appealing for help to stay afloat.

The irony is that while greed may have brought us to this point, we all have the opportunity to gain something; something more significant than material possessions – a return to what is really important and meaningful in life.

In a recently released DVD on bankruptcy and foreclosures on Amazon, I was a featured expert offering advice on how to rebuild yourself emotionally and psychologically following losses (“Bankruptcy, Foreclosure, Short Sales & Rebuilding your Credit – Financial Recovery.”)  One of my key points was that the opportunity now presents itself to reconnect with your children or family, to learn how to give and share of yourself, your time, attention, love, respect, friendship, companionship, etc.

It is very hard for many people to know how to express love without the giving of material gifts. And yet, many adults will often complain to me that their greatest pain is not what they didn’t get in the form of presents for Christmas or The Holidays when they were children but rather what they didn’t get all year long – time with their parents, love, attention, attentiveness, undivided attention, bonding, sincere interest, praise, concern, freedom to express themselves, acceptance, validation, support, encouragement, joy, open communication and so forth.

So many parents today got caught up in the trap and were hypnotized and brainwashed into thinking the best gift they can give their children is what their children ask for – the latest gadget or fad. But children don’t recognize the difference between what they consciously want and what they truly subconsciously need. The beauty of the latter –the subconscious need -is that it requires only your time and commitment – your love and devotion.  In other words, the list in the paragraph above is what I would list as the ultimate gift list – and one that you can give every day of the year.

The same principle applies to adult relationships. Recently, a client of mine thought that the answer to his marital problems was the gift of a diamond for his wife. But I explained to him that what she wants cannot be bought.

I said to him that what she truly desires is to feel special, to feel loved, to be praised, to be heard, to be treated as significant, not to be criticized, to receive understanding and empathy, to be romanced, to have her husband pay attention and be with her and put her first in his life.

In closing then, may I humbly encourage you this season to spread love, joy and merriment by giving away love, praise, compliments, kind words and deeds, patience, respect and gratitude. Maybe the one greatest thing you could do is to thank someone special in your life for his/her presence and remind them why they are special to you.

Accordingly, thank you for reading my success newsletters and allowing me to spread my message and live my mission and purpose. I often hear from people who are touched by something I say and yes, it matters deeply to me and it inspires and motivates me to continue my work so that I can be of help. So again, I am grateful to you –even if we have never met!

May love and joy fill your heart and world.

Add your comments and questions to my and read my past Success Newsletters, if you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist

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3 replies
  1. Avatar
    Peter Breitkreutz says:

    Patrick – although I have never met you personally, you continue to be an inspiration to myself and my family. As an Australian living and working in Singapore (long term) in a very senior position, it is often difficult when confronted with things such as missing loved ones back home (for me as well as my wife, who’s family hails from Shanghai, China), as well as being considered a ‘minority’ in the country in which one lives (and the obvious negative attitudes that this often entails).

    When I receive your regular email, it always makes me stop and consider the ‘bigger picture’. It lifts me up and reminds me that some things are out of my control, and that I can improve the things that are in my control by looking within myself.

    As a result of your communications, I have reduced the time travelling for business – if a red-eye flight is available, I will always take it – thereby reducing the time that I am away from my wife and our 16-month old baby. The joy I receive from being back at home with them far outways the little bit of tiredness I might incur.

    Thankyou again, Patrick for everything you have done for us, and if ever you are in Singapore or Shanghai, please drop me an email – we would be delighted to meet with you in person.

    Kindest regards,


    • Avatar
      Patrick says:

      Dear Peter,

      Wow! An Aussie living in Singapore. I guess you must also miss the Aussie things such as Vegemite and the famous meat pie and pasties!
      Seriously, I am truly deeply honored and further inspired that my work, words and teachings are adding to the quality of your life.
      I am particularly encouraged by your insights and approach in the second paragraph of your comments:

      “When I receive your regular email, it always makes me stop and consider the ‘bigger picture’. It lifts me up and reminds me that some things are out of my control, and that I can improve the things that are in my control by looking within myself.”

      You will be pleased to know that I remind myself of the same thing – the same principle!

      Finally, I sincerely believe that your family must be grateful and appreciative of your love and devotion. For that, I honor you also!

      I wish you and your family the very best for 2009 and watch out, I might just drop in when next in Singapore!


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