In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the roots of anger and the ways to neutralize anger by removing its roots.
First a quick update:
“Attention life coaches, therapists & hypnotists only”
For the first time ever, I am offering a training course and certification to learn my unique therapeutic technique “Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique” (SRTT) – the most effective way of any to get greater, better, faster results for your clients, while making more per session, and in half the time. And it is the only technique where you can book sessions with clients no matter where they are, AND no matter where YOU are…working over the phone! At the time of writing this, eight people have signed up and that means there are only seven spots left – I am only accepting fifteen people into the course. So hurry now, click here now.
“Get the man you want”
Listen to the interview I will be giving to Lucia – The Art of Love Radio Show about my book “Get the man you want” – live at www.latalkradio.com this Sunday August 29th at 3pm PT/6pm EST
Now, let’s talk about the roots of anger.
Recently, I was explaining to a reporter that the incident involving the Jetblue flight attendant (who responded to an angry passenger by expressing anger himself when he quit his job and opened the emergency parachute to escape) is a sign of rampant stress in our society. And yes, stress can lead to outbursts of anger and even rage. But anger has many more causes than stress.
The dictionary defines anger as an emotion – a feeling of strong displeasure and belligerence. But anger is much more than that. Anger is the almost immediate response to being hurt, injured or wronged; the hurt or injury can be a physical, emotional or psychological pain. Beneath that anger is a deeper pain. In other words, while the unsafe expression of anger can cause problems, anger in itself is not the problem, but rather, it is the symptom of another problem, emotion or belief.
For example, Jonathan came to me concerned because he was having sudden feelings of a desire to hurt someone. Jonathan told me that he would be walking along the street when he would be overcome with anger and wanted to lash out and hit someone – anyone and everyone. Jonathan couldn’t identify a specific reason or trigger to his anger; he could be having a great day and then be out on the street for lunch when he would experience a sudden urge to hurt someone.
Jonathan’s case reminded me of a couple of people I worked with on the Montel Williams TV show a few years ago. The episode in question dealt exclusively with explosive anger. One man, James, age 31 was married with a young baby. He called himself a ticking time bomb; he would have sudden outbursts of anger, smashing and breaking things and thus endangering his child. While on set, a guest psychiatrist asked James if he had undergone tests to examine his brain because this psychiatrist believed there was something neurologically wrong with James. I immediately intervened and said to Montel that I did not believe there was anything wrong with James’ brain but rather that his anger was triggered from the horrible experiences James had suffered as a child – he was molested and abused by a family member, and then later abused and molested by the parents who adopted him; the very people that were supposed to love and protect him, not only betrayed his trust, they physically and emotionally abused him. Thus, James’ anger was geared at the world which he felt was unsafe, had betrayed him and hurt him.
As I explored more of Jonathan’s story, he revealed that he had been molested around age 4 by a next door neighbor. We explored his subconscious beliefs and perception of that incident and when asked “At whom are you angry?” I was able to uncover the anger that Jonathan felt at age 4 as he subconsciously blurted out the words “I am angry at everybody!”
And who was ‘everybody’ at that time?
- A close friend of the family, the next door neighbor who molested him
- His father and mother for not protecting him from the neighbor
To a child, his/her parents often represent the world (‘everybody’), and in Jonathan’s case, all the people that he trusted and expected to protect him and keep him safe, had let him down – including his neighbor and friend. Jonathan was also angry because he felt dirty and afraid to trust. Thus, those words “I am angry at everybody’ represented the anger that he had been carrying around with him his entire life and which would be manifested in the form of a sudden random urge to hurt strangers for no consciously apparent reason.
For both James and Jonathan, it seemed their options were limited to being a victim – taking medication to control the anger or attending anger management classes which again only deal with an attempt to manage and handle the anger but which fail to neutralize it or deal with the deeper issues of betrayal, violation and a fear to trust other people. James attended anger management classes from age 14 but they failed.
I teach that it is critical to uncover and treat the root cause of the symptoms and surface problem so that the roots can be removed and then the person can be set free from the anger and its deeper issues & limiting beliefs.
Again, if Jonathan were to attend anger management classes or accept medication, he might learn to control the anger but he would never be free of the pain of violation nor would be set free to trust again.
The real cause of most of our present pain comes from our responses, reactions and conclusions to our past pain and incidents – to the things that happened to us. In other words, mental and emotional freedom are achieved when we can release the negative emotions (sadness, guilt, blame, shame, revenge, confusion, lack of self worth, self-loathing, etc) and transform our perception of the event by realizing at a subconscious and emotional level that the event is over and we were not the cause of it, nor to blame, and gain new insight that allows us to forgive the person that wronged us. Jonathan, like most victims of abuse, suffered from the plaguing need to hear the answer to the question “Why me? Why did he do this to me?” Beneath that is the question and belief “Is there something wrong with me? It must be my fault. It is my fault, I am bad, I deserve to be punished or I don’t deserve love or good things.”
I would also like to emphasize how critical forgiveness is in this process; how critical forgiveness is to your inner peace and emotional freedom. Whom have you not yet forgiven? Remember by forgiving the other person, you are releasing you – even if it doesn’t initially seem that way to you. It is also significant to become aware when you are angry if you are also angry at yourself –for something you did or didn’t do.
I worked with Jonathan to achieve, at a subconscious and emotional level, the four steps I mentioned above:
- Release the pain and negative emotions
- Understand the event is over and finished
- Gain new understanding about why it happened; that it’s not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you, and; create new empowering beliefs
- Forgive and express compassion
I did this process with Jonathan in one session. And this process is my unique therapeutic technique “The Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique.” Do you want to learn it and use it to really help your clients at an extraordinarily fast pace and thus be able to charge more for such great results?
Go here to watch the video and get started, but hurry I am only accepting fifteen people, and at least eight people have already joined, maybe more by the time you have read this newsletter.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.