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Tiger Wood’s wife takes him back?

Tiger Wood's wife takes him back?
Tiger Wood's wife takes him back?
Tiger Wood’s wife takes him back?

The following is a transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Tiger Woods in sex rehab and claims that his wife Elin is taking him back at the same time that another woman claims to have been one of Tiger’s many mistresses.

Click here to read the first interview Patrick Wanis gave to Russ Morley Dec. 11, 2009: Tiger Woods – a sex addict?

Click here to read Patrick Wanis’ Success Newsletter: Lessons from Tiger Woods:

Click here to read the interview Patrick Wanis gave to Russ Morley Dec. 22, 2009: Tiger Woods – a God complex or an inferiority complex?

Good Morning on the WFTL Morning News. Now here’s your host, Russ Morley.

Russ Morley: There are still more women telling their tale about Tiger. The latest that came out this weekend, the British mother of two named Tiger’s latest mistress concocted the story that she was having golf lessons to maintain their affair. That’s what she was telling her friends. Golf lessons! Emma Rotherham, a 42-year-old living near Tiger in Isleworth, up near Orlando, invented the story to tell her friends and family she claimed to be receiving tuition from an instructor called Jose whereas she was in fact raising the Woods’ office in Windermere for sex lessons and that’s the latest story about Tiger.

Now, we hear Elin has been visiting Tiger at that Mississippi sex rehab clinic for the last five days. So apparently, the marriage is not over. Joining us this morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis. He’s a celebrity life coach and human behavior expert. You may have seen him recently on Extra. Dr. Wanis, how are you doing?

Patrick Wanis: Doing great, thank you.

Russ Morley: First of all, let’s talk about sex addiction. Is it a genuine illness? Is it something that you can diagnose that you have on your book of diagnoses there that you can label somebody with?

Patrick Wanis: Well, there’s a lot of controversy around that because the majority of the medical community don’t recognize sexual addiction because you can’t do medical tests, so it’s very hard to say it’s a medical condition.

Second, even within the field of psychology and psychiatry, not everyone recognizes sex addiction. It’s closer to a compulsive behavior or a heightened desire. To use the term sexual addiction is to say, “Well, I’ve lost complete control.” And Tiger Woods can’t use that real line of defense because if you look at all the behaviors surrounding such a term as sexual addiction, it has to be where you’re engaging in pornography, phone sex, you’re objectifying women, you’re having sex with anonymous people, you are frequenting strip clubs or brothels, you are engaging in unsafe sexual behavior, your sexual desire is stronger than you are and your sexual behavior is completely taking over your life. Yes, there can be multiple affairs but Tiger Woods, based on what we know, doesn’t fit into that.

And usually, we say that if anyone has any form of addiction, then that addiction completely takes over their life and they’ve lost control. Sex addiction also refers to being plagued constantly by thoughts of sex and sexual behavior. But Tiger Woods was still playing golf. Tiger Woods was still doing commercials and doing sponsorship. So, for a guy who has a sexual addiction, it would be hard to imagine him spending days and days at a golf course. If he had a sexual addiction, he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the golf, would not be able to perform so exceedingly well (on the golf course) and would have been engaging in sex every night while playing golf or touring. So I don’t think it really fits him but, it does help fit in as the perfect line of defense if you’re trying to save your marriage.

Russ Morley: Now, I did hear the other day from somebody in your field of work saying that actually there is a physiological trace – a thing that you can apply to this, that it appeals to the same or makes the same – the endorphins or whatever it is. The release that happens is in the same area of the brain that drugs tend to touch upon.

Patrick Wanis: Again, this is very controversial, Russ. I’ll tell you why. Because it’s actually being scientifically proven that the love addiction is 100 times more powerful than anything that might be close to a sex addiction because a jilted lover or someone that’s rejected will kill, will commit suicide. A person that gets turned down for sex very rarely does that. [A drug addict will rob, steal and even kill for the drug; would a so-called sex addict rob, steal or even kill for the sex?]

So, if you’re going to talk about, the power of a drug – of a chemical within the brain that drives us to behavior, love addiction is much, much more powerful. And when I talk about love addiction, I’m talking about the emotional attachment which is much more powerful than saying, “I have an addiction to sex.“

But nonetheless, whether it’s true or not, it is the perfect line of defense for Tiger Woods. He says to his wife – and this is why she would be staying in on the course per se because what he says to her is, “Look, there’s nothing wrong with you, Elin. It’s not your fault. You’re still beautiful. You’re still special. I still love you. It’s just that I’m a victim. I have no control. There’s something wrong with my brain and it’s sending signals to other parts of my body to do bad things. But really, it’s not my fault and it’s not your fault so I’ll put my self into rehab and everything will be fine.”

So, of course, it’s easy for her to give into that and there’s a big part of her that will welcome that versus, “Did I contribute to this? Is he bad? Am I bad?” It’s much easier to say, “No one is at fault. Poor Tiger is just a victim.”

And I don’t believe that’s the case with him because one of the most recent studies to come out of Europe only about two or three months ago says that power leads to hypocrisy. Meaning, when we’re in a position of power, we tend to think that the rules no longer apply to us and we tend to do whatever we want which is another thing I’ve said before, when I said that power leads to cheating and betrayal. We gain a sense of entitlement. We become narcissistic. We fall into delusions of grandeur and denial and we just do what the heck we want rather than taking our stand and being disciplined and saying no to temptation. Again, I’ll put it this way, Russ: How many rock stars have slept with 15 women in a month or two months versus Tiger who did it over a couple of years? So, you know, really he’s just living the life of a rock star. [In decades gone by, a man who cheated with many mistresses was known as a Don Juan or a lothario – both characters from literature that refer to a man who seduces women; today people refer to these types of men as sex addicts.]

Russ Morley: Alright. Now, his wife, Elin, according to a report I saw this morning has visited him at the Pine Grove Gentle Path in Hattiesburg, Mississippi and part of their therapy there is when they get the couples together to talk it through. Now, apparently, she’s going to, at least, temporarily forgive him, if not forget and the same thing with John Edwards’ wife. We heard about his lovechild just last week. What’s in these women’s heads? Because most people are thinking, “I would never talk to this man again. I would take him for all his worth and be on to the next man.”

Patrick Wanis: Well, they’re two separate cases and I’ll tell you why. In the case of John Edwards’ wife and the case of Governor Spitzer’s wife and in the case of former president Bill Clinton’s wife; these are women who are in very powerful social and political circles. So they’re not going to let go easily because they’re letting go of their entire life. So there’s a different kind of status versus Elin who’s in the celebrity circle but not necessarily the powerful, political and social circles of someone like Governor Spitzer or John Edwards.

As far as Elin is concerned, again, as I said a moment ago, it’s much better for her to say to herself “I feel really good. I can have a sigh of relief here because there’s noting wrong with me. Tiger does love me. He’s just helpless.” So that’s the reason why she would go back to him or she would give it another try.

Russ Morley: Yes.

Patrick Wanis: I think for the other politician’s wives that I just mentioned, it’s more a case of “I don’t want to lose my social status.” Plus, they are older women too who’ve established themselves and they don’t want to let go of that. Elin, on the other hand is staying in it because she’s much younger, so she’s much more naïve and she has two very young children. So for her, it makes sense that she says, “You know what, I’m going to try and rescue this marriage because I have two very, very young children, one who’s barely a year old.”

Russ Morley: And I bet you got some commentary on this at, don’t you …

Patrick Wanis: Yes, I do, sir.

Russ Morley: Alright. Patrick Wanis, that’s Wanis, W-A-N-I-S, Check it out, Miami celebrity life coach and human behavior expert on News Talk 850 WFTL

If you feel that you have a sexual behavior is of concern, take the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) by clicking here:

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