This is an archived copy of the article that originally appeared July 7, 2011 on Headdrama.com
My Newsfeed Isn’t For “Making Out”
In the matter of a few short years, Facebook has become intertwined with virtually all my relationships. My friends, family, co-workers, pretty much everyone is blogging about their lives.
I love seeing the kids, dogs, trips, personal triumphs and changes. But what I can’t figure out are the ones that choose to display the PDA between themselves. You know the ones, it goes past a “happy anniversary, I love you,” and instead turns into something like “you are the moon, the stars and being with you every single day is pure joy.” The basically talk to each other like Khaleesi and her Tribal Leader husband off “Game of Thrones.” Now, I’ll even make exceptions for big events; marriage, 10, 20 year milestones. If you’re apart like in Iraq or your partner has a deadly disease. You can elaborate a little more, but I’m talking about the couples who live together and see each other nearly everyday. And then every week or month announcing to the world how much they love their partner, what they mean to you and in some cases they toss in a little pseudo sexual tone to them. What’s even more intriguing is that I know some of these couples personally and they don’t talk like that when they are together or act like they like each other much. So, why is it, on Facebook, they pull out the PDA like two teenagers in a movie theater who need to get it on there because they can’t do it at their parent’s house.
Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. explained it to me:
“We manipulate our behavior based on context. When we can be anonymous on the internet, we will often reveal the way we really feel and we don’t hold back – anger, bitterness, bias, etc. However, Facebook creates an opportunity to manipulate our behavior to portray ourselves the way we want our social media friends to see us (most of whom we have never met) and to do so in a way we might be afraid to do in public. Social media gives us the opportunity to fool ourselves into thinking we are extremely significant and grandiose. For some people, Facebook and Twitter become like a diary where we write and list everything we think, do and feel without thinking that people are reading and there are consequences. For others, Facebook becomes the perfect vehicle to manipulate our image to others: either the type of person we wish we were or the type of person we want everyone to view us. Thus, the PDA on Facebook could signify the ideal behavior this person would like to express or it’s simply a ploy to hypnotize everyone into believing what a loving and affectionate person he or she is as a way to compensate for their own perceived inadequacies. Final thought: always look for the intention behind the action.”
So maybe they are trying to will themselves into love. It’s like the AA guy who tells you for the 42nd day in a row that he hasn’t had a drink. Everything is OK in small doses but here’s a few hints when to stop:
If everyone stops “liking” or “commenting” on your love posts, time to start sending private messages
Try talking like that in person to each other. One of you will gag or laugh and if not, then you were made for each other and I need to de-friend you.
Maybe I’m being too harsh but this is the 2nd most irritating thing on Facebook, the first is “Farmville.” Don’t get me started.
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.