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What Do Men Want? What Do Women Want?

What Do Men Want? What Do Women Want?


It’s one of the most controversial topics: what do men want and what do women want? And the inability to understand that creature of the opposite sex just leads to lots of pain, frustration and sometimes, just that weird scrunched up face that says “What? I just don’t get you!”

Of course, men are often stumped for the answer to what women want and as for women, well, they say men want just three things, no, make that two; women claim men want just food and sex!

But how true is that? I hear a few guys in the background yelling out, “The remote control; we also want the remote control!” But seriously, the male species must have some other motivations, particularly when women are thrown into the equation. And so, in my two-part series on understanding the genders, I begin with women.

While women are highly perceptive they still haven’t yet completely figured out the male psyche. Women have many unique perceptions and misconceptions about men. Can you distinguish the truths from the myths?

No. 10-  Men are not interested in what women have to say – unless it’s about sport, food and sex
False: Men do want to know what women have to say –they just are not good at knowing how to communicate with women.

No. 9-  Men want somebody who is just like their mother
True – but they don’t know it: Although men want to be loved, nurtured and often spoiled, they are subconsciously attracted to women who are similar to their mom. In other words, they subconsciously recreate the dynamic they had with their mother.

No. 8-  Men only think about sex
False: Men do think a lot about sex (generally more than women) but men too, yearn for an emotional connection. When women evolve to place priorities on children and family, the man still wants regular sex.

No. 7-  He’s spoiling me, so he must have plenty of cash to splash
False: Some guys will go into debt to initially impress and win over a woman.

No. 6-  If I sleep with him on the first date, he won’t respect me
True: Men are innately hunters and prize the rare catch. If the woman is too easy to win, he feels she is not so special – even though he may be the one pressuring her to sleep with him.

No. 5-  Men prefer young women
True: Men prefer young women but not for the reasons women often think: men are attracted to the women who are young in spirit, playful, take care of their bodies and looks, and still have a passion for life

No. 4-  Men are interested in a woman’s dating history
False: Men prefer not to know. The male ego says “I am the first, the best and the only one able to please you!”

No. 3-  Men don’t like women who make the first move
True (if they want a long-term relationship): An apparent contradiction, the male ego is initially stroked and flattered by a woman who makes the first move but he usually gets bored in the long-term because men like to be the hunter and not the hunted.

No. 2-  Men prefer “bitches”
False: Some men with low self-esteem or other unresolved issues choose women who are controlling. Men are, though, attracted to women who know their own mind and are clear about what they want.

No. 1 – I can change him
False: You can’t change a man – unless he wants to change. Women fall in love with a man’s potential and plan to change him for the better and then become despondent when they realize they can’t change him. This is the number one myth a woman has about a man and the most dangerous belief a woman can have about a man because it destroys the relationship as she wastes all of her energy trying to reform him, mold him or help him become who thinks he should be or could be. Eventually, the man, who almost never likes to be told what to do, becomes rebellious and resentful and the result is that it kills the romance – and the relationship or he has an affair!

The final word
There are always exceptions to every rule and you will always find men who don’t fall in line with the average Joe, depending on their own experiences, outlook in life and the phase of their life. Final tip: always listen to your intuition about a man because it is never wrong!


Contributor: Patrick Wanis
Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author and an Expert in Human Behavior & Relationships, and Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has been featured on FOX News, MSNBC, CBS, the Montel Williams Show, Cosmo magazine, Dating on Demand, Mike and Juliet show, XM & Sirius radio, E! TV, VH1 and American Media mini books. Wanis is the first person ever to do Clinical Hypnotherapy on national television. Wanis is one of the top experts on relationships, sexuality, communication, body language, human motivations, persuasion, success and personal development. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish.

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(This is an archived copy of the article which was published in now defunct
June 7th, 2010 in Dating Top 10
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