10 Other Secrets to Mental Toughness

10 other secrets to mental toughness

10 other secrets to mental toughness

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the second half of the 20 secrets to peak performance and mental toughness.

First a quick update:

“5 Weird Things Guys Do & What They Actually Mean”
Read my insights in the article on Her Campusttps://www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/5-weird-things-guys-do-what-they-actually-mean

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert

Now, let’s talk about the second half of the 20 secrets to peak performance and mental toughness.

Mental toughness is the psychological state that enables you to cope well with the many demands of life as well as be consistent and excel in being focused, confident, resilient, and in control under pressure.

In my newsletter, “20 Secrets to mental toughness”, I revealed the first 10 secrets. Below is the summary of the first 10 followed by the remaining 10 secrets along with powerful tips for each one. Read the article with details of the first 10 secrets of what mentally tough people do.

1. Delay gratification – It’s one of the easiest traps to fall into – the desire to stay comfortable or receive instant gratification. Read more.

2. Control themselves – Mentally tough people place their energy and focus on controlling themselves only.

3. Determine their own feelings – Mentally powerful people take responsibility for the way they feel and do not allow others to determine the way they will feel about themselves or the way they will respond. Read more.

4. Don’t play the victim or self-pity game – Mentally tough people don’t waste energy playing the victim or wallowing in self-pity. Read more.

5. Live with emotional intelligence – Mentally powerful people are emotionally intelligent and self-aware. They accept full responsibility for past behavior and are willing to learn from their mistakes. Read more.

6. Exert power by creating the present and future – Mentally powerful people learn from past mistakes and experiences but focus on what they can do now to create a new outcome. Learn more.

7. Please themselves not others – Mentally tough people don’t undermine their self-esteem by trying to please other people or get other’s approval. Read more.

8. Avoid anxiety by focusing only on what they can control – Anxiety is caused when one feels one’s world is out of control coupled with the attempt to control that which can’t be controlled, such as people, situations and events. Learn more.

9. Focus sharply – In spite of whatever is happening around them, mentally tough people remain fully focused on the task at hand. Find out more.

10. Believe in themselves – Self-doubt plagues everyone at various times. But mentally tough people believe in their ability to achieve the goal and they focus on their abilities and strengths. Read more.

11. Celebrate success – Mentally tough people avoid jealousy and resentment; they celebrate their own successes and the successes of others.
Tip: Practice celebrating your own success and you will overcome jealousy and resentment.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela

12. Embrace blessings, hard work and deservedness – In the ‘me, me, me generation’, most people believe they are entitled to everything without having worked for it, proven themselves or devoted their talent or energies. Mentally tough people welcome hard work and recognize that success is dependent on what you are willing to give.
Tip: Be willing to give of yourself – your time, talents and labor. Believe that you are worthy of success, otherwise you will sabotage it.

13. Never graduate – Most people believe that once they leave and graduate college they never need to read another book or take another course. Mentally powerful people are committed to life-long learning. Constant education protects and enhances your brain and cognitive function.
Tip: Progress is constantly occurring. You can always learn more and evolve in your field by furthering your education. Listen to audio programs in the car or when traveling.

“Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day” – Thornton Wilder

14. Respect their body –.Chinese philosophy teaches that the heart, mind and spirit are inextricably linked and one does not exist without the other.The ancient Greeks and Romans also believed in the link between a healthy body and a healthy mind: “Mens sana in corpore sano” “A sound mind in a healthy body.” Mentally powerful people recognize that one must take care of the physical body to ensure equivalent mental and emotional health.
Tip: Reduce stress by simplifying your life; feed your body well, exercise regularly, get proper rest and sleep, and monitor your fitness. Learn more.

15. Don’t view failure as failure – Mentally tough people see failure as a stepping stone for future achievement. They focus on the process of being in the game and doing their best versus focusing on the fear of making mistakes.
Tip: Simply be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. You can’t make progress without effort and being human means there will always be some mistakes or failures. Read more.

“I failed over and over, that is why I succeed” – Michael Jordan, NBA 6 time World Champion; he missed 9000 shots and 26 game-winning shots, and lost 300 games

16. Build character, seek solutions and take action – Mentally tough people recognize that success begins from within – by building character, which also involves seeking solutions and taking action.
Tip: Things don’t ‘happen for a reason’, but you can choose to find a reason, objective or meaning to help get you through challenging or horrible events. Focus on the solution.  Read these two articles: “Don’t whine, complain or make excuses” and “Positive thinking, Denial and Negative Thinking”.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” – Epictetus

17. Embrace change instead of fearing it – How can you get what you want if you are not willing to make any changes? Mentally tough people understand that you must be willing to let go of what you don’t want to get what you want and, that the journey of success involves change.
Tip: View change as adventure rather than fearful. If your hands and life are full of what you don’t want, then how will you make room for what you truly want? Read these two articles: “Time to Grow Up” and “Why Don’t You Change”.

“Something in us wishes to remain a child, to be unconscious or, at most, conscious only of the ego; to reject everything strange, or else subject it to our will; to do nothing, or else indulge our own craving for pleasure or power.” – Carl Gustav Jung

18. Challenge themselves to step out of their comfort zone – If you never stepped out of your comfort zone, you would still be exactly where you were when you left school – same car, apartment, job, etc. Mentally tough people recognize that without conscious action, the comfort zone quickly becomes a prison which not only blocks growth and success, but rather blocks the enjoyment of life. Mentally tough people use challenges and uncertainty to motivate themselves.
Tip: Engage in new activities; take small steps each day to do something new and uncomfortable.

“Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.” – Big-wave surfer, Laird Hamilton

19. Take calculated risks – You cannot grow and succeed without taking calculated risks. Mentally tough people weigh the benefits and the potential pitfalls and prepare for the worst-case scenario.
Tip: Read the Worry Buster Technique

“Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” – George S. Patton

20. Maintain composure – Composure is the ability to handle pressure and regain psychological control following unexpected events. Mentally tough people thrive on competition and pressure because they also believe in themselves. (See secret no. 10 above.)
Tip: Life is full of uncertainties and things which we cannot control. Accept that anxiety is inevitable at times in life, Reduce anxiety by controlling only what you truly can control (See Secret no.8); focus on the solution and understand and accept that you will be okay no matter what happens. Use my powerful audio program “Supreme Self-Confidence”

Finally, print and post this article and the first part “20 Secrets to Mental Toughness” where you can refer to it daily and read it daily or whenever you need to feel mentally tough and powerful.

You can post your comment on this newsletter below.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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3 replies
  1. Avatar
    Erna says:

    Hello, I wanted to regards your article about bad boys relationship with women, is their image created by natural ability to be a man, as alpha or leader or it’s more insecurity driven defense ?

    • Avatar
      Patrick Wanis says:

      Hi Erna,
      thank you for reading my article.
      You asked about what creates the image of the bad boys; maybe you mean to say “what creates the bad boy? What are his drives and motivations?”
      Alpha males is one explanation for the bad boy, but we must also first define the bad boy; are we talking about someone who is rebel, breaks the rules or uses women? Are we referring to the boy that cannot or refuses to commit? Are we talking about someone who doesn’t respect women or simply wants them only for his own pleasure?
      A male who is insecure will possibly have fear of commitment and will thus, behave poorly to push away the woman; a male who is insecure will use women and avoid emotional intimacy due to subconscious fear of rejection.

      Also, some males who have plenty of opportunity, wealth and power might also choose to be behave badly because of a lack of a good upbringing i.e. lack of respect for other people, lack of self-control, selfishness, etc.

      Finally, it is important to account for the age of the person – some young boys will grow out of the phase of being bad and rebellious boys while others will never grow out of it.
      I hope this answers your questions.
      All the best,

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