20 Secrets of Mental Toughness

20 secrets of mental toughness

20 secrets of mental toughness

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 20 secrets to peak performance and mental toughness.

First a quick update:

Women destroy men with criticism”
Criticism in a relationship destroys the other person, but men are particularly sensitive and vulnerable to the criticism of their partner (even if they don’t like to admit it.) While it is true that you need to point out what is not working in the relationship, constant criticism destroys your partner and the relationship. Watch the video: https://youtu.be/i-gR7NHebbk

Now, let’s talk about the top 20 strategies and secrets to create mental power and build character for success.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” – Muhammad Ali

Mental toughness is the psychological state that enables you to cope well with the many demands of life as well as be consistent and excel in being focused, confident, resilient, and in control under pressure. https://www.mascsa.psu.edu/dave/Mental-Toughness.pdf

Here are the top 20 secrets of what mentally tough people do:

1. Delay gratification – It’s one of the easiest traps to fall into – the desire to stay comfortable or receive instant gratification. This approach leads to bad habits, laziness and compulsive behavior. Mentally tough people and peak performers understand you must work hard now to reap the rewards later. This applies to personal development, learning a new skill or exercising.
Tip: Celebrate each success along the way; stay focused on the satisfaction of the reward of victory.

2. Control themselves – Mentally tough people place their energy and focus on controlling themselves. They recognize the futility of trying to control or change others.
Tip: Think about how much effort it takes for you to change yourself and from that perspective consider if you can really change anyone other than yourself.

3. Determine their own feelings – Mentally powerful people take responsibility for the way they feel and do not allow others to determine the way they will feel about themselves or the way they will respond.
Tip: “I understand that the way others respond to me is about them” i.e. only you can truly make yourself feel bad about yourself. Avoid emotional vampires, toxic people and abusive relationships and situations.

“The pool is terrible, but that doesn’t have much to do with my record swims. That’s all mental attitude.” – Olympic swimming champion, Mark Spitz

4. Don’t play the victim or self-pity game – Mentally tough people don’t waste energy playing the victim or wallowing in self-pity. No matter how well prepared you are, things beyond your control can go wrong. Winners, take responsibility for their own actions and for the outcomes which are within their control.
Tip: Instead of focusing on the past, glean from the experience and move forward. Take responsibility for your actions and response.

5. Live with emotional intelligence – Mentally powerful people are emotionally intelligent and self-aware. They accept full responsibility for past behavior and are willing to learn from their mistakes.
Tip: Focus on self-awareness – your needs, thoughts, emotions and motivations; learn to redirect emotions and nurture empowering emotions.

6. Exert power by creating the present and future – Clients often begin by telling me they don’t want to revisit the past; I respond with “We clean and clear the past by changing your perspective and emotions related to the past, so that you can create your present and future.” Mentally powerful people learn from past mistakes and experiences but focus on what they can do now to create a new outcome.
Tip: Clear the past and place your energy on what you want and not on what you don’t want.

7. Please themselves not others – Mentally tough people don’t undermine their self-esteem by trying to please other people or get other’s approval. They respect people and are fair but they don’t live to please other people.
Tip: Don’t be swayed by the voice of the crowd. Your opinion of yourself is much more important than the opinion of the crowd.

“Mental toughness is not letting anyone break you.” – Penn State Footballer, Jimi Mitchell

8. Avoid anxiety by focusing only on what they can control – Anxiety is caused when one feels one’s world is out of control coupled with the attempt to control that which can’t be controlled, such as people, situations and events.
Tip: The only thing you can truly control is your own thoughts and responses to whatever happens.

9. Focus sharply – In spite of whatever is happening around them, mentally tough people remain fully focused on the task at hand. They are adept at neutralizing or ignoring internal distractions such as worry and negative mind chatter and self-talk. They also don’t focus on revenge or proving themselves to others.
Tip: Get clear about what you want and the task at hand; focus on it only and remember that everything you do is either getting you closer to your goal or dragging you further away.

10. Believe in themselves – Self-doubt plagues everyone at various times. But mentally tough people believe in their ability to achieve the goal and they focus on their abilities and strengths.
Tip: List your skills and abilities; focus on your strengths; accept that at times you will doubt yourself. Don’t give into the doubt.

For the remaining other ten secrets to mental toughness and peak performance, click here.

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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