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3 Secrets to persuasive communication


3 Secrets to persuasive communication
3 Secrets to persuasive communication

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal 3 secrets to effective and persuasive communication for business and personal relationships.

First a quick update:

“Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique”
Learn about my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. And if you are a coach, counselor, therapist or practitioner, you can also learn this technique.

Now, let’s talk about the 3 secrets to effective and persuasive communication.

Recently, I was presenting – “The Psychology of Persuasion and Communication” to Schweppes Australia – a training program I have presented to various corporations aground the world featuring:

  • The ways we communicate
  • Key principles of Body Language
  • Effective praise & correction
  • How to impress others and build rapport
  • The Pain & Pleasure Principle
  • How to win the confidence and trust of others
  • Changing your attitudes & perception

Although the program is a multi-hour interactive workshop, here are three key techniques to persuasive communication which I teach in the training and which can be applied to every type of relationship. – personal, familial and business.

1. Intention
–       Set your intention, goal or objective before beginning any communication
Persuasion is the act of convincing someone to do, feel or believe something. To successfully persuade someone implies that you achieve your intended result.

What is your intended result? What do you want this person to do, feel or believe?

Successful, effective communicators begin by first getting clear about their goal – the intended result. And this strategy is not limited to business and sales people – it is relevant to every type of relationship.

Most people begin their communication without even knowing what that they actually want to achieve. For example, a parent finds drugs in his child’s bag and he immediately proceeds to confront the child without first considering the best approach and desired result.

Is the intention to:

  • Scold and punish the child
  • Find out from where the drugs came
  • Prevent a repeat
  • Find the cause behind the behavior and offer a solution
  • Give guidance, support and teach life skills
  • All of the above and/or something else

In another example, a sales representative, under pressure from his boss to increase revenue, picks up the phone and begins to call his entire customer list without first thinking about exactly what he wants and expects from each client.

And in the world of dating, a man might call a potential date and start chatting without having a clear plan, such as asking her out on a specific time and place.

Put simply, you can’t hit a target if you don’t have one!. Get clear first about your goal and objective before you pick up the phone, send an email or start talking.

2. Emotional mindset
–       The way you think and feel affects and determines your intended result.
–       Ensure your emotions match the intended communication.

Have you ever tried to close a deal or sale, or asked for something you needed when you were in a bad mood, felt down, angry, sad, frustrated, desperate, fearful or just plain negative?

The result was obviously not good.


Your emotions affect the tone of your voice as well as your posture, gestures and body language.

Your emotions can be felt in your words and your communication via body language.

It is true that words can often be misinterpreted when written via text or email because the reader may not be able to clearly discern your feelings and intentions. However, intense emotions can also subconsciously affect our choice of words. For example, a person feeling rejected or fearful will use different words compared to a person whom is excited and enthusiastic – even if both the people have the same intended communication.

The point here is that the other person feels, responds and reacts to the tonality of your voice and your emotions; you affect his or her emotional state. For example, if you feel angry, aggressive, sad, flat or disinterested, then it will be hard to get him or her to get excited or interested in what you have to say or sell.

The father dealing with his child who was caught with drugs, has to beware of his emotional state and beware that he is not simply expressing frustration, anger or vindictiveness, if he wants the child to open up, tell the truth, be open to a solution and form a new bond and relationship between the child and parent.

Of course, certain situations require intense emotions. For example, if you are trying to raise money to save someone’s life, then fear, desperation and urgency might be the emotions necessary to urgently achieve that goal.

Thus, it is critical to ensure that your emotional mindset matches and supports the situation and specific communication.

Your emotional mindset also includes your thoughts – your consciousness and attitude in the moment. Your thoughts will influence and determine your emotions which will, in turn, influence the person with whom you are communicating. For example, if you believe that the situation is hopeless, you will feel hopeless, and you will exude and infect the other person with the same feelings of hopelessness. You either positively affect people or you infect them.

3. Understanding and give praise & recognition
–       Be familiar with the needs, desires and personality of the recipient and give praise and recognition

We are all unique individuals even if we have basic common needs. To communicate effectively, one must understand the specific and unique needs, wants, desires and personality of the recipient or client. (Learn more about the persuasive power of understanding the other person in my article “How to win friends”  )

One of the greatest and most influential needs that we all have is the need to feel significant. And a person feels significant when he or she receives praise and recognition. Bosses, team leaders and managers often are fooled into thinking that all that is required to motivate team members is to reward them financially. However, what truly motivates people is that which can’t be bought – feeling significant and appreciated and, hearing it and having it reinforced by the people that matter. When we are praised and recognized for who we are and what we do, we feel confident, strong, energized, receptive and more motivated to give and involve ourselves in the work and task at hand; we give more of ourselves.

The same applies in personal relationships – reward good behavior – praise, acknowledge and recognize the qualities, effort, skills and accomplishments of your partner, wife, husband and children. Openly and freely praise and recognize to them their significance to you!

Here are more articles and insights into persuasion, influence and communication..

How to get almost anyone to like you

Persuasion and influence secrets

Secrets to persuasion and influence

Body language at work

Getting your six needs

How to give praise and criticism

7 Steps to change your attitude

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist

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