In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal 5 steps to overcoming resistance, accepting change and enjoying life.
First a quick update:
Results From The Breakup Test
When asked how they feel about the breakup, about 50% of women said they felt stupid for being in the relationship in the first place, while about 50% of men said they believe part of them is missing now that they’re broken up. Women reported more self-blame over the relationship breakup while men focused more on the loneliness aspect.
Real Life Tragedy – Do You Teach Morality & Ethics to Your Children?
A true story about a boy who could have been saved from suicide: do you know the difference between morality and ethics? If your friend tells you a secret that could lead to his suffering or death, would you betray that secret? What do you teach your children? Watch the video
Now, let’s talk about the 5 steps to overcoming resistance, accepting change and enjoying life.
When I was 19, I was working a part-time job at a department clothing store. Without fail, I would show up late to work every day. And I always had an excuse: I missed the train, a train was cancelled, the alarm didn’t ring, I overslept, and so forth.
Finally the department manager came to speak with me. I still clearly recall how enlightening she was.
“Patrick, there might be many reasons you are late, but there is only one true reason. You don’t want to be here.”
‘Is that true?’ I asked myself. ‘Do I really not want to be here?’
At age 19, it had never occurred to me that the reason I was always late was quite simply my ‘resistance’; my resistance to being there at that job.
As soon as I accepted that I needed this job and that it was only temporary, I immediately started showing up to work on time.
Resistance is defined as “a force that tends to oppose or retard motion.” In this context, resistance keeps us from enjoying whatever it is that we are doing because it stops us from moving forward and achieving our goals.
Resistance is like putting your brakes on in the car and still accelerating – you get nowhere and it removes all the joy.
Look at the areas in your life in which you find yourself resisting. Is it work, a task, a chore, a relationship, a responsibility, a needed or even forced change, etc.?
Again, whenever you choose to resist something such as work/project, commitment or a change, you will find yourself showing up late, you will create arguments and confrontations, you will increase your stress and frustration, you will push people away or people will shut down towards you.
Resistance occurs because we are facing change or doing something that we don’t want to do – either against our will or because of limited choices.
Resistance is the opposite of acceptance.
As demonstrated by my own example above, I gave into the situation; I accepted it.
I realized that this job was something I had to do (at least for now) and then I committed to it, to giving 100% of myself to the work. As my attitude changed, so too, did my results. I was much happier – and I was now showing up on time to work! I had reflected on and focused on the long term goal and vision. I accepted that this job was a stepping stone and a means to fund my long term goals.
Thus, the simple solution to overcoming your resistance so that you can enjoy life is to change your attitude and embrace that which you are resisting.
Ask yourself, “How can I make it successful and enjoyable?”
And here are 5 simple and effective steps to overcoming resistance:
1. Identify what you are resisting in your life – (people, relationship, situation)
2. List how the resistance makes your relationship or situation worse
3. List whether or not you can control it (e.g. doing a job with little choice presently because of finances/responsibility, being forced to move, etc.)
4. If you cannot control it or change it – then commit, devote and give all of your energy to it – focus on making it a success; be creative – look for ways to enjoy and find pleasure in the task/situation or change
5. Focus on the long term goal and the ways that this current situation/task can help you to achieve your long term goal.
You have heard the cliché, you create your life and success. There is truth to it: by changing your attitude and perspective, you can enjoy life and the present situations which are not ideal. It’s a choice: choose to focus on the benefits of your present challenges, while still keeping your eyes on the prize. Remind yourself that you will be okay no matter what happens.
If you need personal help to overcome the past, accept something that is changing or to change your perspective, book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.