As human beings, we all have needs.
Our basic needs for survival are food, water and shelter.
However, our emotional needs are vast, and vary according to our personality, character, upbringing and insecurities.
Our basic emotional needs are validation, significance, reassurance and approval, sense of belonging, acceptance and love. In other words, we all need to be needed and want to feel important, loved and accepted. We also have certain physical needs such as touch, affection and intimacy. Other physical needs are material such as money.
To learn about the six key needs humans have, read “Getting your six needs”
https://patrickwanis.com/blog/getting-your-six-needs/
The extent or level of our needs reveals itself when we enter into a romantic relationship. At this point, we will express or demand that our needs be met -and on all levels. While we might think that we are easy to get along with, have only few needs and are not very demanding, the opposite can be true and we can be so demanding, difficult and needy that we become high-maintenance to our partner, draining him or her of their resources and energy – physically, mentally, emotionally and even financially.
Are you high-maintenance?
Take the test and find out!Be honest with your answers – otherwise you are only cheating yourself! And remember, the higher maintenance you are, the harder it will be to find someone to please you and you will encounter many difficulties in relationships. You will also find that no one can ever satisfy you and you will never be happy or fulfilled in a relationship. The act of being very high-maintenance can often be an indicator that you are masking a deeper issue such as low self-esteem, low self-worth, NPD -narcissistic personality disorder, and so forth. It is similar to someone screaming for attention and love.
1. Physical
Do you? | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
* Spend more than 30 minutes in the bathroom* Shower more than once a day* Take more than one hour getting ready to go out* Sleep in whenever possible and don’t like to be awoken early* Rarely do things on your own* Expect physical intimacy (sex) more than 3 times a week* Decide the sexual positions* Ask for hugs, affection, and lots of touching* Expect your partner to work out and have a great body –but you rarely work out* Expect your partner to accompany you everywhere you go | |||
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
2. Financial
Do you? | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
* Expect or demand regular gifts* Expect to be taken out for dinner at least twice a week* Decide which restaurant to go to* Expect to be taken out to the movies at least once a week* Decide which movie to watch* Ask your boyfriend/girlfriend for cash* Wear clothes once or twice and then throw them out* Spend more than three hours shopping weekly* Expect your partner to buy you expensive gifts | |||
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
3. Mental
Do you? | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
* Require long phone conversations* Become annoyed when your partner can’t take your call at that moment* Enjoy long philosophical debates/arguments with your partner* Need more than three phone calls per day (IM or text messages) with your partner* Expect your partner to solve your problems* Throw emotional fits or temper tantrums* Want to be the decision-maker* Want things done your way | |||
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
4. Emotional
Do you? | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
* Need to spend lots of time with your partner* Find it hard to be alone* Require lots of attention* Seek lots of verbal reassurance* Expect regular praise & compliments daily* Take out emotions on your partner* Dump your emotional stuff on your partner* Call your partner every time something goes wrong* Call your partner for reassurance | |||
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
5. Miscellaneous
Do you? | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
* Expect dinner to be cooked for you all the time* Want your house cleaned for you all the time* Expect someone else to clean up after you* Expect or have someone else to do your laundry* Expect your partner to organize everything for you (buy tickets, make dinner reservations, collect dry cleaning, run errands) | |||
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
Scoring
Total | A. Rarely | B Sometimes | C. Often |
Add the total number of As and multiply by 5
Add the total number of Bs and multiply by 10
Add the total number of Cs and multiply by 15
Now add all three scores for a grand total of points. Remember to post your comments and thoughts….
All the best,
Patrick www.patrickwanis.com
Am I high maintenance? Scores:
200-225 Points:You need to be more assertive and ask for what you want!
230-350 Points:You are easy to get along with!
355-450 Points:You are high-maintenance and it takes hard work to please you!
455+ Points:You are extremely high-maintenance! You are absolutely impossible and probably need a team of servants and several boyfriends/girlfriends to satisfy you – get help!
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.