In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 5 strategies and tips to help you to stop being controlled by the guilt-throwing of others!
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalize advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
Real Cause of School Shootings – Medication and Murder – Profile of Mass Shooters
In a video that has now gone viral with over 16 million views, Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin is right when he says that we need to look at everything to solve the problem of school shootings in the US. Watch the video of my response on a TV interview
Now, let’s talk about the 5 strategies and tips to help you to stop catching the guilt that others toss to you!
“If you really cared about me, you would come out with me tonight…
If you were my friend you would not have done that…
I have done so much for you, so why can’t you do this small favor?”
The above are samples of the fast pitches of the “Guilt Thrower.”
And the when the Guilt Thrower pitches to you, he expects you to catch that guilt. And when you do, he (or she) has succeeded in manipulating you, and you are now part of the team – you are the “Guilt Catcher.”
Guilt is powerful tool to manipulate and control people; it can be used so easily to get the people in our lives to do the things we want them to do – even when that means that they are reluctant and they are doing it against their real wishes.
Guilt throwers know how to get to you; they know exactly how to toss that guilt so you will catch it and, in turn, you will do as they want. In fact, they want you to feel bad, so that they can control you and fulfill their demands. In some cases, they simply want you to feel indebted, waiting to serve them.
Guilt, though, is not always a negative quality or trait; we need guilt so that we can have a conscience, and as way to know when our behavior has hurt someone. Guilt can help us to learn from our mistakes and thus correct and adjust our future behavior.
However, if we are filled with guilt, we end up hating ourselves and punishing ourselves. And when we allow ourselves to catch the guilt, we are actually catching the condemnations, the judgment, the disapproval and disappointment. Accordingly, we now try to relieve the guilt by seeking the other person’s approval and doing exactly what they want. But the real result is that we feel worse, we resent the other person (the Guilt Thrower) and we end up hating ourselves for catching the guilt – for our weakness of letting them control or manipulate us.
How can we stop catching the guilt of Guilt Throwers?
Solution:
1. Stop seeking the approval of others
2. Respect yourself by setting your limits, and then enforcing them
3. Look in your heart – are you doing and giving your best?
4. Live from your heart – give only when you sincerely want to give
5. Correct mistakes and redeem yourself if need be, but, determine what the limit is.
Finally, if you are a parent, and you or your spouse toss and catch guilt to each other, then you will teach your children to do the same. Stop the game of Guilt Throwing and Guilt Catching and instead, pitch love, kindness and compassion to each other!
If you need personal help to overcome being controlled by guilt – book a one-on-one session with me.
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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.