Can You Change Someone Else?

can you change someone else

can you change someone else

In this Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about change: is it possible for someone to change?

For my regular readers please remember to forward this to everyone you think might benefit from it.

First a quick update:

The Montel show is looking for a family that wants to save its marriage and is willing to do what it takes. Montel is offering a unique opportunity to get the help by having me live in your house for five days, working and coaching every member of the family. This would normally cost thousands of dollars but is absolutely free. The experience will be taped for TV and the family would be flown to NY for an in-studio interview. If you or someone you know is interested, kindly send us an email.

I am presenting a phone seminar for Peak Potentials Training Tuesday September 25 at 7 PM New York time: “The Secret to Get What You Truly Deserve” The phone seminar is a gift – no cost. You just pay the cost of a long-distance call. Dial: 512-439-6551 and enter the pin 998225#  Get on the call early as places are limited.

The broadcast date for the episode of the Montel show featuring me working with people who have challenges with anger will be announced next week

Now let’s talk about change: is it possible for someone to change?

In my book, “Get the Man You Want”, I explain that women generally fall in love with the potential of a man (hoping he will grow, evolve and change) while men generally fall in love with a woman the way she is and expect her to remain the same forever (physically, mentally and emotionally.) Thus many men and women become disillusioned and disappointed when their partner changes or fails to change. One of our greatest disappointments in life is our expectation of others: wanting them to be better: to be, do or have something more or wanting them to be forever happy with the status quo.

What does it mean when we say a person changes? It can refer to any aspect of the person that appears to be new or different – physical, mental or emotional. Most of us understand that our physical body will change –whether we like it or not. However, what most of us hope for, is that there will be an emotional or behavioral change in us or the persons around us. It is critical to note that no matter who you are, how powerful, gifted or influential you might be, you can never change another person. You can inspire, motivate, push or influence someone but you cannot change them. That person will only change when he or she decides to do so. Even if you were to place a gun at someone’s head, he or she would still make the final decision whether she wants to change or not. Understanding this point and accepting it will greatly help you in your relationships and in choosing your social, romantic or business partners.

Many people complain that once the honeymoon phase of the relationship was over, their partner changed. No. Your partner didn’t truly change – he or she is now simply revealing the true person that was hiding behind the mask since some people will be what they think you want them to be in order to win you over. Also, once we enter into a relationship, our true stuff comes up and we behave accordingly.

Everyone can change but change only occurs when the person is willing and ready. To be ready refers to having experienced enough pain that you see there is more pleasure in changing than in remaining the same. Being willing refers to having the courage to face the deeper subconscious feelings and beliefs that are causing you pain and hardship in your life. Usually, this involves facing dark aspects of your past.

The best news regarding the process of change is that nothing new is added – things are simply subtracted. For example, once you remove self-doubt, confidence appears. Once you remove or release anger, joy & compassion appears, and once you remove self-loathing, self-love & love for others appears. I believe that we do not need to learn anything new; we need to unlearn all the things that were taught to us that leave us thinking there is something wrong with us or that we do not deserve the best in life.

Remember, too, experiences and events can also lead you to change, grow or evolve.

If you want to change how you feel, use daily my Hypnosis CD: “Feel Good about yourself”.

Remember to check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments.  If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist

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