In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal a way to ease the current suffering and to find hope and meaning.
First a quick update:
The Breakup Test
Are you heartbroken, angry, lost, lonely, confused, depressed, hung up, or pining over your ex? Do you know how your ex is truly affecting you and do you want to benefit from personalized advice, action steps and revelations? Take my free breakup test and get your own personalized report.
You Can Do It! You Have The Psychological Capital Within You!
Are you struggling to deal with the extreme changes? Are you doubting yourself? You have 4 key internal resources! Watch my video about how to tap into the 4 resources you already possess – Psychological Capital.
Now, let’s talk about a way to ease the current suffering and to find hope and meaning.
I have been teaching and reinforcing this theme since this pandemic began: Identify what you can and cannot control, and place all of your focus only on that which you can control.
How many people have you seen or noticed that are experiencing apathy, hopelessness and helplessness?
This is the triad that I refer to as the result of falling unconsciously into victimhood.
These are the people who have lost hope and are suffering deep emptiness. In this article, I will reveal how to overcome that and how to find new meaning and hope, even at this time.
Victimhood is the belief that you have no power whatsoever to either change your situation or the way you respond to it; the belief that you are the helpless and powerless result of bad events or of other people’s bad actions. Presently, there is also an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that many people are experiencing simply because they choose to believe that they are supposed to always “be happy”, and believing that pain, suffering and even death do not exist or should be ignored or denied so that they can always “be happy.”
Here is the solution to this dilemma: You have capacity to take a stand toward any conditions whatsoever; you can regain your power by discovering new meaning.
Here, I am not saying to seek the answer to the question, “What is the meaning of life?” Rather, I am encouraging you to seek the answer to the question, “What gives your life meaning?”
Meaning refers to significance and purpose.
You have the ability, power and capacity to decide in every single moment who and what you will be; you get to decide what meaning you are going to give to your life. You and only you, decide what is meaningful & consequential and what is meaningless and of no importance.
You have free will to decide how you will respond to the conditions presented to you and which are outside of your control.
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search For Meaning”
So where now will you find meaning and purpose?
Here are 3 key steps.
Step 1: Stop attacking yourself by thinking you must be happy 24 hours a day no matter what happens. Suffering is as unavoidable as death. The way that you choose to respond to ‘unavoidable suffering’ will determine if you can take a tragedy and turn it into a personal triumph. When suffering is avoidable, you take action to change it. When the suffering is unavoidable, you take action to change yourself. Remember, it is okay to feel down and to have doubts and worries. Be patient with yourself and follow the steps below. Decide for how long you will stay there.
Step 2: Notice the black and white thinking – the ‘should’, ‘ought’, or ‘must’ beliefs and expectations that you have mentally conjured up and created. Notice the beliefs such as ‘Everything is hopeless…I am powerless…I have no control.’ Notice how those beliefs and thought patterns control and cripple you; notice the painful void they create.
Step 3: Discover meaning in your life – in the suffering, in the small moments of life, and by living with purpose and passion.
Psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, refers to 3 types of values that relate to finding meaning:
I. Creative (Doing) – finding meaning in the things you do, produce and create – doing a deed, creating a work
II. Experiential (Being) – finding meaning in the things you experience (beauty, truth, knowledge; witnessing a beautiful sunrise or watching animals and nature); finding meaning in experiencing people – experiencing the uniqueness of someone, the good of others, encountering and knowing someone, loving someone
III. Attitudinal (Responding) – the way you respond in attitude to the things that happen in your life, including tragedy and unavoidable suffering; easing suffering through purpose and hope
What is your cause? What is the ‘why’ that is greater than you? Who is the person you love whom inspires you, even if it is in the powerful thought & vision of loving them? How are you making a difference? How are you contributing to others? How are you helping others to realize their potential – even if it is one person? What else gives your life meaning? Can you find meaning in the small moments and actions, even if it is just witnessing beauty and nature around you?
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
If you need help to overcome challenging emotions and thoughts, trauma, or the past, book a one-on-one session with me.
You can add to the conversation below.
If this newsletter was forwarded to you and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page at PatrickWanis.com.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
Anointed “The Woman Expert” by WGN Chicago, Patrick Wanis PhD is a renowned Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who developed SRTT therapy (Subconscious Rapid Transformation Technique) and is teaching it to other practitioners. Wanis’ clientele ranges from celebrities and CEOs to housewives and teenagers. CNN, BBC, FOX News, MSNBC & major news outlets worldwide consult Wanis for his expert insights and analysis on sexuality, human behavior and women’s issues. Wanis is the first person ever to do hypnotherapy on national TV – on the Montel Williams show.